Cancer

[stevemLS1]

I am just coming to the end of an 18 week course of chemo.

I was offered a sick note for the duration but declined that.

I have had a day off each week in order to have the treatment, although I have worked on those days using IT to deal with emails etc, the nurses laugh at me hooked up to the drip and tapping away.

Other than that, it has been very variable, some days have been absolutely fine and others I have felt truly terrible.

This has led to needing to work at home occasionally and anything from nothing to 3 further days/week off.

Most commonly, I have had the treatment and felt worst the following day and so not been in for those two days.

My boss has been brilliant and has said, essentially, not to work if I don't feel like it.

I have a supportive OH report and I know that my condition (bowel) is automatically a disability within the meaning of the EA 2010.

I am sure I am being paranoid but every week I feel dread going into work after a day off and that they are going to get fed up after so long of me being, essentially, unreliable. I am a very private person so only a very few people know what is going on. I also work away from the office, at other offices, frequently, so my absence isn't necessarily remarkable if you see what I mean.

I have 12 years service.

Anyone got any thoughts?

I think if your boss is being brilliant and clearly knows the score, that if you get any adverse comments or looks from anyone else then you go to your boss and tell him/her.

People don't need to know what your health status is - the fact that you're having regular sick days and being allowed to work from home and your boss is ok with it should give them the hint that you have something fairly long term going on.

Talk to OH about your paranoia as well - it could be a potential sort of side effect of the treatment, in that you're already feeling down about your illness, your treatment, your perceived "unreliability", your body letting you down, all sorts of things - and it may be something you could benefit from some counselling for.

Sounds like the best way to handle this all round. If you were to take the whole time off work it is harder for you to feel able to come back when the time comes. Being able to continue working will help your wellbeing, sense of worth and social wellbeing. It's all good. Yes, there is disruption to the workplace but its less overall than if you weren't there. Your boss sounds great!

My only thought is that you should stop worrying. It sounds like you are doing everything that you possibly can to minimise the impact of your chemo on the workplace, but you can only do so much.

Your manager sounds supportive. Might it be worth talking to him/her about your concerns. Hopefully he/she will be able to reassure you.

As a manager who has seen staff through some difficult times like this, I would hate to think that you would be worrying about this, when you have so much other stuff to deal with. You sound very committed to your work, and they will recognise that. Life is shit sometimes.

I highly recommend www.the haven.org.uk - amazing place that supports anyone with breast cancer and can also advise on work/finance during this time

Thank you so much for your kind comments, tears are rolling down my cheeks as I read them.

Afraid it is bowel not breast.

IME it is your manager's attitude which will set the tone in the office. If your line manager is happy with how you are approaching this then everyone else will be as well.

It sounds like your line manager is respecting your preference for privacy which is also good. Much better than having to fend off colleagues hungry for all the details.

I am not surprised if your diagnosis and treatment are making you feel anxious and vulnerable. Is there anyone involved in your treatment who you can talk to about your feelings?

Best wishes for your treatment.

Please stop worrying.

You are making the the best of what you can and you are valued in your position at work.

Only negative I can give is please take time to recover, accept help and let every day be as best as it can.

I'd like to add to the reassurance above - I'm a manager with experience of a member of my team with almost exactly the OP's post. My employee chose to work through treatment and I fully supported that choice. I never felt anything negative towards my employee, on the contrary, I was in awe of their willingness to continue working and often I was the one to say - "please take the rest of the day/today/tomorrow off". For them, I feel that working through it helped them cope with the situation and it was my job to support them. We have made necessary adjustments and had OH input to make sure that they didn't overdo it as the job is demanding. But we've always been guided by their wishes.

So please don't think that your boss thinks you're unreliable or fed up with you. I believe they will be amazed at how resilient you are, delighted that you've chosen to work through your treatment when you could and 100% genuine when they are being supportive.

I would also say that make yourself the priority during this time. I don't know if you have more treatment after chemo? Don't be surprised if you find that you need more time off after the treatment has finished - often people keep going when in the midst of a situation like this but you may find you need time off to fully recover afterwards. Your GP, consultant and OH will be the ones to advise, but I'm sure your boss will be fully supportive should this happen.

take care and I wish you well.

I've heard lots of moans over the years about colleagues being off sick. But never ever colleagues with Cancer. I'm sure your workmates wish you well and certainly don't resent you being off.

Thank you again, your comments have made me feel much better.

Chemo has now finished and I have to wait a few weeks for a scan to see how it has gone.

OH have warned me about lasting after effects.

But thank you.

I had bowel cancer a few years ago. Like you, I worked through my chemo. Unlike yours, my boss was very dismissive. I went on a survivors course a few months later and everyone else had stayed off sick throughout their treatment. I wished I had .

Have you discovered the Beating Bowel Cancer website? Very useful. Also did you know about the 5 year prescription exemption? (I didn't).

Thanks Indantherene - I have been trying to avoid googling it since diagnosis, what I initially found scared the bejesus out of me.

I am diabetic so already exempt from prescription charges (would add a smile but don't know how) so can't even count that as an upside!

Encouraging to know you are still around, if that makes sense.

Just have a few weeks to wait to find out how successful the chemo has been!?

By way of update, I have my scan tomorrow and then next week the appointment to find out how the chemo has done.

The time of this post may indicate how anxious I am, am working from home both tomorrow and the day of the appt next week lol

Keep your bits crossed for me and thanks again for your comments (I must confess am a gay man who finds this forum interesting and hopefully am able to offer a few words).

S
xx

Why do you not have an edit function?

The other thing I would have said is that the comments are those I would have wanted from my own mum! She has been far less supportive.

Good luck, Steve-Sweetie, we are rooting for you!! You seem like a lovely guy!

Hi ladies

News was as good as it could be, nothing detected on last scan "one of the best responses I have ever seen".

Apparently not necessarily gone, have another scan in a month - but "very encouraging".

(I hate it when you take the time to pen a response on a forum and never get to find out what the outcome was).

Thank you again, you really helped when I was feeling very low.

Thats great news Steve