When can you tell if a new job isn't right?

[Frizz1986]

So a bit of background....
I was on mat leave for the whole of 2014 after having my first and returned to my job of 6 years in Jan. They were chuffed to have me back and working full time too. They were a nice company but the job was simple. It had become too easy with no progression and no challenge anymore. I had wanted to go for a while but things came up like getting married and getting pregnant so it was never the time.
When I had to put my child in nursery full time I wanted to feel like there was a reason, like I was going out and trying to better myself sort of thing, go somewhere with my job.

I got an interview quickly and it seemed interesting but the hours weren't right for me. They upped the wage offer and changed the hours (getting paid pro rata) to get me and after lots of pondering I agreed. Even though now I look back I remember how unsure I was but it felt like it was just fear of leaving a job I was comfortable in as it was almost an offer too good to refuse.
I've now managed to sort nursery etc out so that I am onto their normal hours too so my wage has increased again.

So after only 2 months back in my job I started my new one almost 4 weeks ago. It was hard to start with and then it felt like I was getting somewhere learning the ropes.
However this week i am on meltdown and really feel I've made a big mistake. I've been given some big things to deal with, with very little training over the past few days. It's been pretty much thrust at me and I have absolutely no clue what I am doing.
I feel lost and unsure and the team I am working in is new except for one so most of us don't really have much knowledge of the system or information we are working with.
We are replacing another site which closes this week so come Monday we are 'flying solo' and I really don't think I can do it. My confidence is shot.
There's a lot of disorganisation with the processes we use. There appears to be no set way of doing things and each time I ask a question it feels like someone remembers something else that I should be doing but that they failed to tell me.
I don't feel I can remember everything I am expected to and this huge job that has been thrust upon me is really demanding (I have time limits to complete tasks) and vital for the business going forward.

How long do I let myself feel like this before I can safely say that the job isn't right. I know when you start a new job you feel like you can't do things at points but then it settles and you get in the groove of it but it's been so long since I started somewhere that I don't remember how long it takes to feel comfortable.
I want to cry in the toilets at the moment and cry before bed because I feel I've made a terrible mistake.
I wanted a challenge for sure but it just feels like a few steps too far.
I feel an idiot leaving my old job as I was actually happier there than how I feel now.

Oh Frizz, don't give up yet! You have taken the decision to go back full time and good for you. It's only been 4 weeks in your new job. It sounds as though they really wanted you, changing wage/hours. So they think you can do it.

I know how the return to work can feel overwhelming. You have had a baby, not a lobotomy, your work brain is in there somewhere, you just need to try and find it again and dust it off.

What is your new boss like? Can you talk to him/her? What you must not do is stay silent and suffer under the pressure, do speak up. It is not a sign of weakness to make others aware of what needs to be done, and they may not even realise how much you have on your plate. It takes a braver and better person to put their hand up and say they have too much to do, rather than battle on in silence and do a poor job.

Personally, I am a list maker., I find it helpful to get my head round things and feel in more control when I can see it all written down List all the things which need to be done, think about how you can do them and what needs to change. Then try and get a meeting with your boss and discuss everything with him/her.

Good luck, you are a strong, ambitious mother and just need to get back in the work groove.

Excellent advice from mumhum. I've changed jobs every year or 2 (industry where that is not unusual) and about week 4 is always rubbish. You're no longer brand new, but not yet fully settled in. And it can all get a bit overwhelming.

Make a list, prioritise it and speak to your manager. You say your team is mostly new too, are there some you can recruit as allies? You might find they are struggling too.

Thanks for the advice. I got to work and followed the tips and composed an email to my manager explaining how I felt. She spoke with me and was so supportive and helpful.
We have addressed my issues and thought of how we can move forward to get me to the point where I want to be.
She has only been in the role herself for a few weeks more than I've been there so was able to really understand my worries.
I feel a lot more confident and although I know that it will be a while before I feel I can properly do it, I feel supported in moving forward and prepared to keep at it a good while longer.

That's great Fizz, as a senior manager myself I really do feel that the members of my team who speak up about what needs to be done rather than let themselves get overwhelmed are the most effective team members. Stick with it, you'll get there.