Had a complaint and feeling utterly devastated.

[Greenteandchives]

I work in a community NHS team, and have many years of experience, generally enjoyed the work and felt that I was good at what I do. Last week I was told by my manager that a written complaint about me had been received. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I have been in tears everyday since to think that someone thought their experience was less than stellar. I rang the woman who complained. Not to have a go at her, but to try to understand what the issues were, and she took the opportunity to have another go at me. The trouble is I can't think of what I could have done differently, and think that her expectations of the service were unrealistic. Of course I am not in a position to argue, but I am sure that I did not say some of the things she says I did.
I haven't been able to talk to anyone at work about this. I am too embarrassed. My manager is no help. I don't know what will happen next.
Any support would be much appreciated. My self esteem is in my boots.

Hi Green, you sound like you do a great job and if you've gone for many years without a complaint then you are doing very well.
This person could have a bee in her bonnet for many reasons but I wouldn't ring her again. I think you need to seek advice from a legal representative - are you in a union? If not, contact an employment lawyer for advice.
In every business there are times when you feel knocked - I've posted a thread about an issue I'm currently going through. Stay strong and focus on the practical things you can do to get it sorted. This will pass but don't speak to the complainant, she'll only make you feel worse and upset. Let the proper channels sort it out.
Sending you lots of virtual support x

I rang the woman who complained.

Not a good idea, frankly. This could be perceived as bullying or trying to convince her to withdraw the complaint. Please do not contact her in any way at this point, as it will only reflect badly on you.

Hope it sorts out okay.

You should get a copy of your complaints procedure to find out what happens next. With us there would be an investigation, you should get union support for this if you are in a union. Try not to worry.

I'm amazed that you haven't received a complaint until now.

I used to manage a team of health care workers, who were all very competent and all of them used to receive complaints on a regular basis of which 90% of them were utterly ridiculous.

I remember on one occasion I opened two complaint letters for the same Optometrist, the first person was really annoyed that she was too blunt in telling her that she had a cataract. The second complained that she under stated an eye condition she had, resulting in her not seeking specialist attention immediately which mean her eye condition wasn't treated as easily as it could have been.

As long as you think that you acted as you should have done, you have no reason to worry. But, yes, I would not contact the complainant.

Thank you all for the support. I realise that to contact the client was a mistake, but I told my manager that I would, and she said it would be okay. Also I had advised the woman that I would ring her when I had the information she wanted. I just stated that I was sorry that she had not received the input that she had been led to expect. She obviously did not want me to visit again, but didn't want another practitioner either.
I still don't think I could have done anything differently. We have such a long waiting list, and I don't think that had helped! BTW she waserfectly nice on the visit and gave no indication that she was upset with me.

• perfectly nice

Also NHS staff here, and it should be your manager who deals with the complaint. They should have a meeting with you to discuss your side of things, look at your documentation etc and then they should write a formal written response on behalf of your team. You should have no further input into it than that. Inform your manager if another team member needs to be assigned to this lady but then your line manager needs to deal with it from there.

I know firsthand how horrible it is to receive a complaint about you, especially when you have bent over backwards to try to help someone, but do just take on board any learning points from the experience and then try to forget about it We once had a patient complain about his male practitioner because he wanted a blonde female one! Ick! Complaints can be vitally important for service improvement, but some are frankly baffling!

Just wanted to send hugs and reassurance.

Also to say that I am a HCP in the NHS and have seen over time that there are some people who complain more than others. I recently had to ask for feedback from 30 consecutive visits. All but one were extremely supportive and positive. One gave me the lowest possible score but no feedback to explain why. I was very upset that I hadn't offered everyone the service they deserved. It turns out that this individual always has very high and somewhat unrealistic expectations of what the NHS can offer, then makes a personal complaint against the HCP when the outcome is not as they would like it to be.

A good complaint system is essential in order to ensure the best possible service is offered. But if this is the first time in years that this has happened, maybe there isn't anything you could have done differently and the woman is just someone who complains.

Hope my ramblings help. I agree, speak to your union for support and please don't be disheartened

Thanks everyone. My manager just put the letter in front of me in an open plan office. We had a brief chat and a look at my notes, then that was it. I went to the loo for a private sob and got on with home visits feeling shit. I still feel shit. I hate this blemish on my records. She hasn't spoken to me since to ask if I am okay or to tell me what happens next.

obv feeling v v sorry for self

I'm very sorry you're going through this. Please try not to take this to heart. It very likely says an awful lot more about the complainant than about you, especially if you know that you've done your job well.

I've been through - and I suppose in a way I still am - something not dissimilar and, like you, my manager hasn't bothered to see if I'm OK or not. I was sent a copy of the complaint by email with just a curt message - would I provide the manager with my side of the story. I got back to say that I thought that this was all rather abrupt and, to be fair, he did apologise.

Anyway, I've learnt that if I'm exonerated (which I will be - the complainant is really complaining about process than about me personally - and something like this may be true in your case), the complaint will not be on my personnel record. So please put aside any worries about a possible blemish. Get union/professional association support if you can.

I hate the idea of you sobbing in the loo (I've done that, though - ). Be kind to yourself.

You could be 100% perfect and there are still people who will judge/complain about you.

Put this down to experience.

One of my mantra is, "I'm doing my best.".

Thanks. The funny thing is, I can deal with people who are angry and upset to my face, but this was so unexpected. I always, always say ' is there anything else I can help you with? ' at the end of a visit. See how I am still going over and over it in my head??? Gah.