Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Decisions: commute or not? Plus more

55 replies

NK5BM3 · 02/03/2015 20:49

Hi there
Never thought I'd ever really post here.
I've been in my current job for 12 years now, been promoted once and moved up the salary scale etc. in the meantime had 2 kids but always worked ft.

Recently was headhunted for a new job. And yes I got it. It's a more senior role (even though the job title doesn't quite say it - I guess it's different places have different titles) and it's in London. I live in the se. So if I commute it will be about a 1h 15 min journey.

The money will have to make sense for me and the boss will get back to me on Wednesday.

In the meantime I'm thinking am I crazy to give up a job that's literally 5 min from my house which pays well (£51k) and allows some amount of flexibility to commute (7.20am train)?!!!

so commute is one issue.

The other issue has to do with the job role. As it stands after the interview I felt that they needed 2 people to do the job (well at the current place where I am, 2 people are doing it!!). It will only be me in the new job (unless I've got the wrong end of the stick)... Any thoughts welcome!

Tia.

OP posts:
shivs1974 · 05/03/2015 20:23

I'm going to watch this thread as I'm in a v similar situation. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Duckdeamon · 05/03/2015 20:23

The economist or huff post had an article about an economists study that found that when making decisions about commuting people don't value their time and energy highly enough, and regret it!

Bonsoir · 05/03/2015 20:29

You would be crazy to contemplate the commute unless there was a huge salary upside.

Original poster
NK5BM3 · 05/03/2015 20:39

Thanks everyone. I'm surprised to be honest at the views people have taken on this.

This new job has a lot of prospects for higher senior managerial jobs in the future and I thought people were very much of the 'go girlfriend you can do it!' Sort of ilk over here.

I get the commute issue and at the moment they are going to go higher than the initial offer. They are going to organise a meeting for me with the staff to see how it is and the boss said 'I need you to be absolutely happy about coming here'.

My current workplace has security I give you that (well as much security as one can have in this climate) but the promise of promotions are small given the current boss and the institution's general attitude towards what I do.

I think what's swaying me is more to do with the whole 'I really don't think I can do this for another year'. My dh will be the emergency childcare. He works from home and his client base is local. And if he can't do it, we have several good friends who are local.

My current boss is generally nice but does not keep his promises. I've felt very much cheated of a lot of things which were promised or agreed to and as a result I have lost faith in him.

I think he might bargain with me and 'beg' me to stay (as it will really go tits up if I go) but I can't trust him anymore...

I haven't commuted ever and I take that it's perhaps naive of me to think I could do it. However I come from a country where I commuted 1.5h to university and then back. It was fine (I get that that was when I was in my late teens!).

Thank you for all your thoughts. I'll let you know my decision. I have till end of this month to resign if I want to leave for September.

OP posts:
AKnickerfulOfMenace · 05/03/2015 20:42

"the staff to see how it is and the boss said 'I need you to be absolutely happy about coming here'"

This is a great sign.

Girl339 · 05/03/2015 20:46

I commute in to London every day, have done it for years and hate it, don't underestimate how stressful it is and what a negative impact it will have on your quality of life. I'd say there need to be very large financial benefits to make it worth the sacrifices.

Could you use this job offer as a way to get a promotion at your current company? If they value you and want to keep you they'll probably match the money and give you the promotion (well that's how it would work in my industry, not sure if your industry is the same).

Duckdeamon · 05/03/2015 20:51

commuting to uni is a totally different kettle of fish: studying is way easier than senior level employment and you didn't have DC then for a start!

Prospects at the new place do sound good. if you have the health and stamina to perform well with a long commute and small DC (I thought I would but it's not working out as well as hoped!) further career progression is what you want and the required working hours work for you, and your DH will actively support you and do his share of morning/eve childcare (in addition to "emergency" cover).

"I really don't think I can do this for another year". I often feel that about commuting!

If you quit, will you have burned your bridges? If you did hate commuting after a year or three or five are there other well paid local work options?

cheminotte · 05/03/2015 20:52

I agree £10k increase is not enough. You will only be breaking even. Don't assume you shouldn't ask for more because its public sector. I would also consider taking a day off and taking that 7.20 am train to see what its like. Do you get a seat? Is it on time? If your brave enough ask the other people how often its on time. If you have to change trains what happens if you miss your connection? 1hr 15 can easily stretch.

cheminotte · 05/03/2015 20:53

you're not your

Original poster
NK5BM3 · 05/03/2015 21:02

I did take the 7.18 train to the interview. It was full but I got a seat easily as did everyone else. The next stop was the crowded one. I got into the building of the new place (which I didn't know where, so muddled around abit) and was through the door at 8.30 or 8.35.

I could use it to leverage my current job but I doubt my boss will negotiate although he might do it if he's desperate. I understand that there's at least 3 other staff (junior to me but still do a lot of work) going off on maternity in the next few months and he's thinking of getting maternity cover (ShockShock) - of course he should, and frankly other departments in the same place would... But my department just doesn't.

So he might rely on spreading the work around everyone else... And to top it off, if I go, it'll just be the icing on the cake.

OP posts:
Original poster
NK5BM3 · 05/03/2015 21:04

It's a direct train. And the new place is moving sites and the new place is even closer (on the same train line but a stop closer to me!!). That will be in the next 2/3 years I think

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 05/03/2015 21:07

I love my job.
I hate my commute - 1-1.5hrs each way depending on traffic.
I'd chew my own arm off for a 10 min walk to work.

Temporaryanonymity · 05/03/2015 21:10

You sound like your mind is made up...

wobblebobblehat · 05/03/2015 21:23

I think you need to remember you will be doing that commute day after day when it is cold, dark, snowing, boiling hot, etc, etc. What happens when your train is delayed? Are you going to make up the time and stay late on what is already a very long day?

It sounds like you are ready to move but I would be looking a bit closer to home. Have you done that or are you just going for this because you've been headhunted?

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 05/03/2015 21:30

A 1h15 commute from the south into London is very standard. If you get a seat from your station, it's very bearable.

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 05/03/2015 21:32

Others coming in will be delayed by the same train network if there's a problem - London employers often accept that shit happens and don't demand time to be made up etc - at the OP's level, I'm guessing that as long as the work is done, it won't be a huge problem.

EBearhug · 05/03/2015 22:01

A 1h15 commute from the south into London is very standard. If you get a seat from your station, it's very bearable.

It is, if it's just the train. If you've got a longish walk/drive/bus/tube either or both ends, that's a whole different matter. Even if it's normally okay - consider it on wet, dark, cold winter days, when there are signalling problems on the line. That's okay once in a while, but some journeys are regularly bad.

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 05/03/2015 22:38

I assume from the OP's posts 1h15 is end to end, including train and any other transport.

Original poster
NK5BM3 · 05/03/2015 22:40

Yes it's end to end. Building is 100m from the tube. Tube is on the line where my train stops.

OP posts:
Original poster
NK5BM3 · 05/03/2015 22:40

Yes it's end to end. Building is 100m from the tube. Tube is on the line where my train stops.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 05/03/2015 23:34

Ah right. That's not so bad then. (I am struggling with thinking today.)

mandy214 · 06/03/2015 00:12

I think you have decided you want it.

FWIW my view is that one of the key issues will be flexibility of working from home. I have commuted for 12 years (same job). 3yrs pre children and 9 yrs post children. I have however only done 3 or 4 days post children. The 4 day weeks have been hard, simply the knock on effects of another pre 6am start. It can obviously be done but just don't under estimate how draining it can be. I also think you and your husband need to be onboard because he will obviously take on the lion's share of child care. Does he know / accept that it will be down to him EVERY time the school or nursery phones?

Putting the commute to one side, I have just moved jobs and can't now understand why I didn't before! Yes I had the stability / security / had our childcare sorted etc but I didn't see myself at the old firm long term and definitely needed a new challenge. Even if this job doesn't work out (although I am enjoying it), my CV and future employability have improved.

Good luck!

Seriouslyffs · 06/03/2015 09:56

It sounds very doable- worth the commute for better prospects long term. But do hold out for a 2 year contract and at least 25 more than you're getting now. You want to be able to easily afford take aways/ treats/ emergency childcare for when DH has had to spend the days firefighting!

SaltySeaBird · 06/03/2015 17:05

I think you've made your decision. I posted that I hate my commute and I really do, but at the end of the day I took it for better prospects and better pay. Doesn't mean I like it and some weeks it's a real hardship. Don't underestimate doing it day in, day out. However if you can work from home sometimes and have some flexibility over hours then go for it.

SaltySeaBird · 06/03/2015 17:06

Mine involves three overland train changes which probably makes it feel worse by the way, and I never get a seat!

Swipe left for the next trending thread