I know this topics been done probably to death but just can't decide what to do. So... pregnant with DC5 and currently on mat leave. Work school hours 3 days a week.
Although I enjoy my job it's not my dream job but took it as a transitional role going onto something I wanted to do a couple of years later. Think postgrad training and That was 6 and half years ago when DC2 was 6 months old. The role was full time then, until I had DC4 2 years ago. DH took care of them until they were 2 and then we did a combo of nursery and DH care. Although he did a good job of taking care of them like feeding and changing them I wasn't satisfied that he was stimulating them enough, as in he was plonking them in front of tv while he was on laptop. DC4 has developmental delay which adds to my anxiety. We've had lots of convos about this along with housework. Some things changed and some things didn't and it got to the point that I decided to pick my battles and let go of certain things. Basically I didn't want to nag. Have to point out that DH works in the evenings and some nights and is shattered in the mornings.
My reasons to want to stay is that I've managed to work up until now have a routine going and I've managed thus far, not easy but manageable so might as well continue. Want to keep my foot in the door job wise because I definitely want to work when kids all go to school. (This is my last one)! Have a bit more money and thus independence, flexibility that I may not have otherwise. We could survive without my income but would have to cut back. Also If I wanted to train in my chosen field (probably unlikely now but don't want to rule it out) then I would need relevant experience and my job would give me this. It's only 3 days/7hrs, adding travel time etc.
Reasons for leaving. I'd be worried at work what baby would be doing for the 6 hours I'm not there. When I'm back at home I'd be rushing to get older ones, mainly DS2 & 3 as DD1 is 11 and fairly independant, home, fed, homework done, baths and then looking after younger ones, as I said, DD4 is dd. DD4 attends nursery in afternoons but only will be there for another term or 2 before mat leaves finishes and before starting school. Another point, I actually would fancy being a SAHM for a while as never really done it before. Started Uni and worked part time when DD1 was 1. Then fell pregnant with DS2 When I'd finished and then started my job, which was meant to lead to a career. (That's gone tits up though)!
Basically I've been going through this kind of thinking ever since for months now and change my mind everyday. I know I don't have to choose now but I can't help but plan and over think things. I've been like this ever since I started my degree and had kids. I'm like that about my future career prospects!
Apologies for the essay but it feels good to share as I'm sure others may be going through something similar.