Police caution and working in school - will I lose my job?

[ilosteverything]

Long story short. I have been separated from ex for 2 years due to affair with much younger girl. We have one DD aged 8.
I thought I was moving on, everything was getting better, I detached completely from them and went NC with ex. I have been getting counselling, been on antidepressants but generally was moving on.
I blamed ex for all but also OW as she kept lying about everything, she did not step back when I asked. When my ex and myself tried to reconcile at some point, she was still there, always ready for his moment of weakness. There were loads of horrible situations including me and my daughter catching them in bed or meeting her going out of our house, or her cruising in her car around my workplace with her friends. She never has shown any remorse, she was just laughing straight in my face and even said openly she cares only about her being happy with my ex.

Last week I met her by accident in the city. We had an argument and she was again laughing at me and saying that she has him now and doesn't care about my daughter suffering or mine. She was extremely rude. I've lost it and slapped her in the face. I do not remember actual hitting her but there is evidence I did. Everything was recorded on cctv and there apparently was a witness. She called the police and I walked away. I could not even recall the events properly.
I wasn't arrested and went to the police station couple of days later to explain I was provoked by someone responsible for breakdown of my marriage.

The result is that I am facing the prospect of being cautioned by police and the caution will go onto my criminal record. I am in full time employment that involves working with children. I know this will end my career instantly as I will have to disclose it to my employer and they will have to dismiss me. I do not even know how much time do I have to disclose it, or can I just leave work first to avoid further humiliation.
Ex asked her not to press charges but she refuses... she wants revenge. I met with her and apologised, still it is not enough...

I am going to solicitors on Monday to learn about any options. But it looks like I do not have many. Could anybody support me with any words of wisdom... I haven't been practically eating for a couple of days, cannot sleep, my child is distressed. Just waiting for my parents to come to take care of my girl. I cannot believe this is happening to me...

I've just posted on your other thread. Post this in legal as well .

Yes, you will have to disclose this to your employer if you accept a caution. But they won't have to dismiss you. The presence of convictions or cautions on a DBS check does not automatically bar you from working with children. The question is whether or not the caution is relevant to your employment. If you are dismissed you may be able to claim for unfair dismissal if the offence is not relevant. You may also find other employers in the same field willing to take you on with this caution.

Of course, all this assumed you will receive a caution. The police may decide to take no further action.

I used to do a job assessing CRB checks for school workers and we used to say as a general rule any violent crime would preclude working with children. However that was for applicants who had not worked with us yet. As you are an established member of staff with a presumably blemish free work record you may be able to put your case to your manager and plead for clemency. They would probably need to consider it very carefully but what I am saying is, don't presume it will be an automatic dismissal. How long have you worked for your current employer and has all been well in that time? Do you think they will be sorry to lose you?

I have been working there for 4 years, have excellent attendance and performance and never had any problems. Yes, I think they would be sad to lose me and it would be affecting the children I am working with, if I had to leave in the middle of the school year.

We have kept someone on that has been in a very similar situation to you.
They too had been with us for just over 4 years with previously unblemished record. We risk assessed, and decided to keep them on.
They disclosed the possible caution to us at the soonest they could- think the Monday after the week-end it happened. In the end the police never took it any further anyway.
Hope you get it sorted.