Advice pls- email to HR about w/r Stress

[dizzydollie]

Hi everyone,

I have been off work with work related stress for the past 6 weeks. I spoke with HR and a manager (accompanied by my union rep) and told them how I had been bullied by boss for a long time. The union actually advised me to do this and assured me before the meeting that as I had email evidence and had told the manager who was attending the meeting when some of these incidents occurred that I should be fine to ask for a change of boss.

When I went into the meeting my union rep totally changed, left me to speak even though I was in tears. HR said they thought I was taking comments too personally that although they were not things that they would like a boss to say (most were discriminatory against my pregnancy and me being a working mum) that it could just be me taking it the wrong way. HR also had sent me a Capability Assessment letter whilst I was pregnant that said I could potentially be disciplined for my pregnancy related illness so I told them this has also upset me. This again is just me taking things personally they said. I mentioned that I had spoken to the manager there about several incidents but it was ignored. HR were very harsh through the meeting and when I got upset and said I told my gp she said I should get counselling or something. They will not consider a change of boss or a move, they will only suggest I undertake mediation with the boss. I have told them I've approached the boss about their attitude towards me and it just made things worse. They won't accept that things are different when they are not there. This person has ignored me repeatedly and made things so difficult at work that I literally shake. It escalated when I got pregnant.

I feel humiliated as I spoke up about the bullying and was told no. That letter was also really stressful.

Anyway I got a sick note from my GP and am now on antidepressants. I have ignored things as I just get so upset when I think of it, I've just received an email asking me to meet with everyone again and to discuss my return to work.

Am so stressed out I don't know what to do. I told HR I was bullied but they say no?

I'm pretty sure it's illegal for them to discipline you for a pregnancy related illness as it's discrimination. Although I'm not an expert so don't quote me on that.

Could you be signed off by your GP until you take ML? How far along are you?

Hi youkniwnothinjonsnow

I've had my baby and am now on sick leave as I couldn't go back to working with the same horrible boss, I was trying to sort this out before my mat leave ended :(

Have you looked for another job?
They have treated you badly and I can understand why you don't want to return.
Are you in a union? Or, could you speak to a solicitor for a bit of free advice? If you end up resigning, through stress (caused by bullying), you may have a case for constructive dismissal.

Have you actually raised a grievance?

I asked my union rep about raising a grievance and he said not to. That its too stressful. I asked if I could take out a grievance against HR for sending me a Capability letter for pregnancy related illness and he said I couldn't do that as they had withdrawn it - this was only done when I questioned why I was being issued this as it stated "due to your pregnancy related illness".

HR have made me so upset and I feel I have no support from the union.

It's not up to your union whether or not you raise a grievance you can do that whenever you like.

What are you hoping will happen?

Hi Flowery, I haven't had any experience with this kind of thing at all before so I don't know what I expected. I suppose I just thought that because I had already spoken to a manager about the boss' comments and then had emails that HR would step in and do something? I was naive to think that they would help me. The union told me before I went in that they would fight for me to get a new manager (its a huge organisation) and that I had obviously been discriminated against because of my pregnancy, that my boss had made discriminatory comments too and not to worry but then they said they had contacted my boss' union to give them a heads up that I might put in a grievance against him? I didn't understand that, then suddenly the union tell me its not worth it and to go into mediation as HR will monitor me?

You need to decide what you want to happen, because the action you take next will depend on that.

You also need you get an explanation from your Union as to why they are now advising a completely different strategy and don't feel what you've bern through warrants a grievance.

First of all you pay your union subs for advice and support so if you are not happy with the way thing have been going then you need to inform the unions regional office.
Union reps are normally not allowed to speak on your behalf at these meetings but are there to ensure that things are done fairly and to give you advice during any breaks that you may have. The fact that you were upset could have been an opportunity for your rep to call for a break in the proceedings to allow you some time to get yourself together.
Just because HR have withdrawn the letter "capability" after you challenged them shows they haven't a clue what they are doing and you should have had regular risk assessments during your pregnancy to account for things such as capability and changes made to accomodate, this is a legal requirement.
I would place a grievance and take it all the way until you get someone to listen to you. To expect you to return to work under these circumstances is unacceptable and you must phone your regional office until someone listens and tells you how to deal with this step by step.
Good Luck