Job Share

[SASASI]

So I'm going back to work to a new role & dept which is job share.

It's 2 days one week, 3 the next.

Current job share holder does mon, tue & alternate Wednesdays.

New boss said current person would like to keep those days but will work with me if necessary.

Mon & Tue both my parents are free. Whilst not spring chickens they are relatively well & I like the idea of 2 people looking after DS.

The alternate Wednesdays would be covered by my dad only. He's great with DS, I've no issues there.

If I were to work Thur it would be my dad only. with alternate Wednesdays I think is a bit much for him & quite tying in his retirement.

DH has Fridays off but gets overtime regularly & TBH I don't know if he could cope with DS for a whole day by himself yet.if he had overtime it would be my MIL who is definately not great healthwise.

I've told new boss that I had family Childcare for mon,tue & wed but if job share person is unable to amend I will seek alternatives. I have since had no email response.

Have I pissed off my new colleagues before I even begin?!!! NOT my intention but I am now worried im going to start off on the wrong foot.

Am I missing anything? I don't care what days I work from a Personal level, it's more about suiting the Free Childcare.

My honest answer is that family as childcare isn't easy & why can't you're dh cope a full day ??

I know what you mean about family Childcare - there have been so many threads on here about it - but I'm very close to my parents & if it was anyone but them then I wouldn't be so keen. They live 10mins from me & DS loves them. They are the kind of GP who beg to look after DS & keep him overnight etc but We've only left him a handful of times.

I'm not saying DH couldn't, he would manage in his own way but I would just worry about leaving them together! But I guess long term it makes more sense for DH to have DS.

Bumping so you get more replies

I think you should trust your DHAKA. Of course he will cope and it will be great for their relationship. Your DS will learn your different ways of doing things very quickly. Would you consider nursery or a childminder for the Thursday? That would also give you someone else to ask if your DHAKA gets offered overtime on a Friday.

DH not Dhaka!!

so you expect the current job share to change her working week to fit around you getting free childcare from your parents? I know how I'd feel if I was her/him!!

and you are happy to leave your ds with your dad for a day but not your dh??

I think you've got more issues here than a new job starting..

Whatever your boss said, if I was the existing job share person I'd be pretty annoyed that someone I hadn't even met was trying to make me switch my working days to suit them. Your boss may have no idea what commitments the existing person has on their current days off - I would never discuss childcare with my boss so no reason they'd know. Or they have other caring responsibilities or clubs they do on Thursday or Friday.

So I'd say as the new person you need to fit in with the existing pattern.

There is also the horny question of how bank holidays are dealt with. If it's just based on days of the week the current post holder will be benefiting and won't want to give that up if they have any sense.

I think you need to find alternative child care.

If I found out I was being asked to completely change my working days because you were worried your DH couldn't cope with looking after his own child for one day a week I wouldn't be impressed.

I'm guessing that when the current job share said she'd 'work with you' she probably meant she'd switch the odd day here and there occasionally, not that she'd completely change her working week to accommodate you.

Hello, I returned to work on a job share so sort of have an inside view I suppose!

Now me and job share are very close after working together for a year but if she left I am afraid to say I would be annoyed if someone new tried to dictate days as I do my set days to fit around my childcare.

By my reckoning people do job shares to fit in with things outside work so for example with me I do a job share to have more time with my DD and my job share does it to look after her grandchildren - we have set days we agreed together for childcare reasons (for example my childminder doesn't do Fridays so can never work Fridays)

So......your job share may have her own commitments already.

Have you tried looking at local childminders? They are more affordable than nurseries and can be more flexible?

Also perhaps suggest organising a meeting with your job share, you never know she may want to change a day?

The chances are that the jobshare person also has fixed things in their week that they don't want to move - even if they don't have children they may have an elderly parent they always visit on thursdays, or somewhere they volunteer on fridays - they got in first so they have first dibs, sorry - I don't think you can ask them to move.

Your DH should be just as capable of looking after his child as you are, and if he's being deliberately rubbish rather than getting good at it he needs a wake up call. He wouldn't expect to get away with being considered not good enough to trust with something at work, and care of his children is even more important than this. He can do Fridays. He can do whatever overtime is needed on other days.

Get a childminder for Thursdays and alt-wednesdays.

NB - double check what happens in bank holiday weeks. My DH was in a jobshare once where the other person (Mon-WedAM) got virtually all the bank holidays except Good Friday - and he wasn't compensated at all so was being paid the same for significantly more work days which was massively unfair. Make sure this does not happen to you.

As my OP said, my new boss asked if I had a preference & said current job share person would like to keep her current days but was equally happy to work with me on them. I didn't go in demanding anything but at same time I was asked so I gave an honest answer.

I appreciate it would be all rosey if her opposite days worked perfectly for me but they don't so I answered the question honestly. I haven't demanded or dictated anything. Believe it or not I realiy don't want to get off on the wrong foot with my job share. Maybe I should have just agreed to the days currently available. I probably will do!! The job wasn't advertised for specific days so I guess that's a failing on the employers part, not mine. I really didn't actually expect to get the job so I didn't ask at interview either.

I know DH would get on fine, maybe not as 'polished' as me if that makes sense but yes I agree it would do them both good. His overtime is only ever available on Fridays so he can't do it on other days & it's very handy to get the extra money some months. He doesn't have the same patience or intuition as me with DS but I guess that's normal when the mum is on maternity leave whereas the dad is at work. Well the patience thing isn't & DH needs to work on that - any tips?! I am NOT suggesting DS is in danger with DH or anything like that but when DS is crying DH gets frustrated very quickly which I find hard to watch & I end up taking DS. Yes MN may flame me for that.

I am very close with my dad & he has minded DS more than anyone - because he is retired so more free time & DS adores him. Not saying DS adores him more than DH but adores him none the less. And my dad has more patience so that settles me.

Problem with childminder or a nursery is that neither of us can do drop offs on the days we work ie DH starts at 6am & I get a train at 7am. This overlap happens on 2 days regardless of what days I work. My parents will come to our house before I leave until DS wakes & will get him sorted.

I need to stay with my current employer for the benefits - there is life insurance which I cannot get elsewhere because I had cancer & the life insurance paid out so now obviously no insurer will touch me with a bargepole. I need this security even more now with DS. DH is highly skilled & his job is niche so he can't change his job either & hours are not flexible.

I just lose all the Monday bank holidays unfortunately but whilst annoying that really isn't why I would prefer to work the first half of the week. My holidays are still really good even without getting those days.

Meant to say thanks for all the replies!! Reality checks are always appreciated :)

you sound like you have your parents at your beck and call

dh is every bit as much of a parent than you, if he could have some time with his son instead of your dad or mum always stepping in then he'd get a closer bond and learn some patience and "polish"

poor bugger.

Wise up SSD?! Beck & call? They live close by & like to babysit, help out. I know a lot if people don't have this kind of support & we are both grateful for it.

DH looks after DS while I go to yoga once a week & takes him to a group once a week. Plus daily time ie while I shower & make dinner. When DS is good DH is fine. When DS is unsettled DH finds it difficult to cope.he admits this. I know avoiding DH looking after DS won't solve this but he is not a natural at this baby stage.

And that's not about manning up or shirking responsibilities blah blah it's about using one another's strengths.

You have a couple of choices but either way you need a response to your proposal. Either it's a yes from them and you're ok. Or it's a no, on which case you need alternative plans. Did you give a date to hear back or was it left open? When do you start? Have you thought about what you'll do if they say it has to be Thursday and Friday or nothing? Sorry for all the questions

It's been left open until I am sufficiently trained to go it alone so will be working with job share person, same days for a couple of months. I go back in June. If it has to be the second half of the week I will just have to do it, it's a perfect Role for me in other ways. It's between me & the job share person to work it out. I really am a very reasonable person, I'm not a 'my way or the highway' kinda person, this is just a thorn in what otherwise is ax great opportunity.

Might end up with a childminder on thur with DF having DS until say 9am or a time suitable for a childminder to take him.

Could your Dad just look after for a few hours in the morning and then take to nursery / cm?
You should get the BHs pro-rata.

Could your Dad just look after for a few hours in the morning and then take to nursery / cm?
You should get the BHs pro-rata.

apologies SASASI, am not in a good place with this scenario just now

I shouldnt have bit your head off, please accept my apologies.

Fair enough SSD.

I've agreed to the alternate Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays.

Dad says he'll be fine with the 2 days but promises me he'll say straight away if he finds it too much so I can look into a childminder for the thur.
So will see how it goes, I've a few months of maternity to enjoy yet!

Thanks for all the responses, advice & ideas, much appreciated.