My bully resigned and made accusations of being bullied herself before leaving - Advice needed

[autumnleaves123]

Hi,

I need more advice on a bullying situation at work. I posted some weeks ago about my personal bully (line manager) having resigned after I contacted my Union rep asking for help to deal with the situation. She bullied me for months on end, reprimanding me, shutting me down and treating me as if I were a schoolgirl who didn't get anything right.

After talking to my Union rep, she told me that the bully resigned on the grounds that she was bullied herself. I asked who did she say bullied her and she declined to answer but I suspect she accused me.

Of course, we will never have the conversation with HR because she's no longer here but I fear that there will be a really bad record on me in the the HR department due to this nasty manipulator.

How can I find out about her allegations and should I pursue this further or just let go? I've been under so much stress due to this person, I really want to put the case to rest but I fear she's given me a bad name within the organisation and I will not be able to put this right unless I leave.

I'm so anxious and worried, as HR never heard my side of the story properly and now I'm left with a bad reputation.

I would let it go. You are not a bully, so it's unlikely that the issue would be raised about you in the future. I find in an office/workplace that once somebody leaves their issues pretty much leave with them and people forget about them. Bitter comments made by disgruntled employees on resigning are universally disregarded anyway.

Just work well, be confident and cooperative and people will take you as they find you and will put their own experience of you above anything that they hear (and as I say the almost certainly won't hear anything anyway).

Do you have internal reviews? If so then the time coming up to that would be a good time to request your HR profile, you don't need to mention anything about your ex-line manager but if there is something on the file that needs addressing you could raise it then.

Thanks for your advice, TimeWarp. Asking for my HR profile sounds like a good idea. I just don't want to raise suspicions with new line managers. I will wait and see how things go. I'm just so drained and tired of it all. Can't believe that even with this person leaving, I'm still suffering from anxiety.

If you had been accused , even if she's left, I'm sure HR would have been in touch with you about it and had a chat about your supposed behaviour. The fact you have heard nothing is probably good news.

Autumn you will probably feel stressed out about this individual for a while. Even though they have left the feelings you have take a while to go away. Unfortunately that IMO is the worst thing about bullying they forget about you much sooner than you forget them. Take each day as it comes and you will soon see that you can be yourself again and not be worried about this person. Try not to dwell on the negatives look at the positives. You just need to take a deep breath and keep moving forward

Well don't raise anything with HR just yet, try putting it out of your mind first and only worry about what's in your profile if it comes up or other issues are raised and your previous line manager is referred to.

I know that you are still anxious but if you can fake happier and more relaxed until you really feel it then that will help you to settle in to the new line management set up. And, whatever your new line manager is like, he/she is bound to be more reasonable than the one who has just resigned so that's a good reason to be optimistic and expect a more comfortable work environment.

Thank you so much everybody for your kind and thoughtful advice. I will try to put my mind at rest. HR hasn't contacted me all about this. It's only been discussed with the Union rep, so that might be a good sign in itself.

These things do shake you up, and your confidence badly. I guess it will be a while for me to feel completely back to normal again.

I fear that there will be a really bad record on me in the the HR department due to this nasty manipulator

Good advice already. Just wanted to re-inforce the point that this couldn't/shouldn't happen without an individual's knowledge and participation in a fair process of investigation. Anyway, you don't know that your name was mentioned, and allegations without credibility are unlikely to be taken seriously. I would imagine that your ex manager's behaviour will not have gone unnoticed by senior colleagues. As has been said, it will probably take a while to adjust to your new situation. Give yourself time.

Thank you, fascicle. I'll take it easy for a while, and give myself a break. The whole situation is so stressful. I need to recoup my strength.

Thank you, FabU. I honestly hope people at a senior level realised what a bad apple she was. But nobody will say anything, least of all to me. So you never really know what's going on in HE, and how they really assessed the situation.

Sorry, meant HR, not HE.