Hi,
I have a 'career' in the NHS and my husband has a 'job'. That is what was, basically, said out to me when I had a chat with someone at work about childcare troubles.
I went to University for my job and studied and studied to get high qualifications. I met my husband when I was on a year out 'work experience' from University. He also went to University, but years before me as he is 9 years older. He got a 3rd class. I got a 1st. I went on to get a Masters.
I got a job in my profession straight away. He struggled to find work after University and ended up doing something where a degree was not required. I went part time when our first child was born 10 years ago. He works shifts (earlies/lates) and a LOT of weekends. We now have 2 children but both are well through primary school now. I left my lovely part time job for a job close to home in another hospital (I hate it and I was foolish to leave my old job). Also, we have now been shifted elsewhere so my travelling is further than before. I have recently pulled out of an interview (full time) for my old job, at my old place, simply because it is not workable around my husband's shifts (we rely 100% on registered/paid childcare). I am gutted to be honest. My old boss must simply think I am now unable to ever work there again as I cannot commit to NHS shifts anymore (well, for the next few years). So, I remain part time in my other job with the travel and problems with their changed shifts now. I am fed up of constantly swapping shifts around my husbands.
So, I have been looking into changing career (but, this will be of cost to me). But, why should I? I am at an age where I don't want to change career to be honest (just into 40's).
Husband has been turned down for flexible working! Aarggh.
To be honest, fair enough I went part time for 10 years (I wanted to be around for the children a bit more) BUT I always intended to return full time around now and would love too! I have hated being part time (as it knocks you off the ladder and you feel 2nd class) but accepted it while the children were small. I am now becoming more and more frustrated that I am being 'held back' by my husband's job. He is in a job that requires no qualifications and anyone can do it with the small amount of training they receive. He did not use his degree btw. My job is what I went to University for and worked damned hard for over the years for. I earn a lot more than him and I am feeling more and more frustrated that I have to work around him and let my career suffer. It is worrying me that he will retire a lot earlier than me and I will be stuck in some boring, low paid job. It never used to bother me but I am definitely more aware of it now. Perhaps, age has changed me.
We have no family available to help with the children after 6pm, or at weekends, so I have no choice to be the parent at home most of the time. But, I am getting more and more irritated especially as I see myself being swept under the carpet by managers because of 'childcare issues'. Hubby has threatened to leave work etc. Then he says his pension will suffer! My pension has suffered big time for 10 years!! He has also paid extra into his pension btw so will end up with a nice pension and lump sum.
What should I do? He can't get another job as (a) he is too old now and (b) he would probably end up with a lower paid job. Someone that I now work with, that knew me as an enthusiastic student, asked me why I was protecting a job (that anyone could do) and not a career? It seems to have really sparked off something in my head!
Should I change direction? Should I stay as I am? We have a few leavers soon and I can go full time. I am also interested in steering my career in a new direction too.