Quandary - thinking about giving up my lovely teaching job

[MrTumblesCrackWhore]

I'm in a massive quandary at the moment - I've been teaching for nearly 15 years and have loved my job for most of my career. However, things have changed in the last couple of years and I am gradually getting more and more jaded and I can't seem to get out of this mental rut I've got myself into.

I work in a challenging inner London secondary environment as a middle manager - I've got a good reputation with my SLT, to the effect that one of them said he wished I had gone for the last two Assistant Principal positions when they came up (I couldn't due to maternity leave first time, then two kids under the age of 4, when the second opportunity came up last year).

When I came back after my first dc, I job shared my management role and worked over three days. They didn't really like this arrangement as they thought my job share colleague wasn't up to the job, and when he took at permanent full time role elsewhere, they pushed for me to take on the full role but over 3.5 days - which, reluctantly, I did. I was flattered that they wanted me to do this but I felt under a lot more pressure to take on a lot more responsibility but on less days. I also get paid pretty well doing this and this helps to cover the expensive live out nanny costs (my dh works long hours and is away a lot so we need this childcare option).

This is the second year I've been working in this arrangement and, although I love my department and students, even though both can be pretty challenging at times, I am absolutely exhausted. When I'm in work, I have virtually no non-contact time to do planning or marking and taking work home is bleeding badly into my work-life balance. As my husband doesn't get home until late most nights, I have to rush off from work at 5pm to be home by 6pm, do the bedtime routine with my two dc, sort out dinner, and then sit down to work - often not until 8.30pm. I'm tired, miserable and on a short fuse quite a lot of the time. I don't really get any joy out the job and my family aren't exactly getting the best of me either.

However, here is the rub. I am due to come into a significant amount of inheritance as a family member died last year leaving everything to me. This is not a sum of money which will set me up for the rest of my life but it certainly gives me a huge amount of options if I use it carefully.

I am very tempted to give up work and use this money to do something else - I am not suited to being a SAHM so I will need to do something. However, I am full of mixed emotions - one minute I don't think I can face another year in the job doing what I am doing with all the added bureaucracy and lack of time, the next I am filled with panic thinking I am leaving a job which I've worked hard to achieve and which pays me well plus one in which I have the support of others if I want to go for promotion in the future. The people here are great and I've been treated pretty damn well by most.

Although I'm not ready for it yet, I don't want to discount that fact may want to go full time in the future, and apply for more senior posts. At the same time, I have so many things that I want to do in my life which I can't at the moment but if I leave work then I could. I could also be more flexible for my kids and be around a lot more.

Oh god, I just don't know what I think anymore! Anyone else got any thoughts????

I would say stick with the job until you've worked out what else you might want to do, be it same place/different role, different school, different field, back to college or whatever.

I would write lists of the things I do enjoy about my job, and the things I really don't enjoy, and then there will probably be some things you're not particularly bothered either way about. Then think about - What do I want more of? Which are must haves, and which are nice to haves? What do I want less of? Which are definitely out of the question, and which might be bearable if I've got more of the good stuff? What might I want in the future (e.g. promotion.)

This should be building some sort of profile of what you want your job to look like; then you can start looking at the sort of roles that would fit that profile. Not just job roles - but also the other things you'd like to do. You should start getting a better idea of which ones you really want, and which you wouldn't be so bothered by if they didn't happen. Then you can see what you need to do to get to whatever it is you decide on, and the money just means that you've more flexibility about the decisions, because you don't need to be restricted by having to earn at least £30K or £40K or whatever to cover the current household expenses.

I too would give it a LOT of thought.
Factor in options such as paying for a bit more domestic help, or talking with your school about dropping your hours - IME, anything above 0.6 and you will end up trying to cram a FT job into PT hours. 0.6 and under, there's more likelihood of a job share taking on 2/5 or 1/2 or whatever of the responsibility.
Or, what's the possibility of getting a new job closer to home ?

Give it up and go and do supply? Then look into other things?

You are miserable for a reason. Pay attention to how you feel. Misery will only create more misery.

I was a HoD and did the role for three days a week like you, after having DD1. It was a nightmare. The reason you're not managing it is because it is a full time role!

I left to become an advisory teacher and it was the best move I ever made.

I would caution against coming out of the education system for a substantial period of time, as this will make it very hard to get back in at the same level.

What's your subject? Would you consider a non school-based role?

If the school thinks that highly of you, could you try to negotiate reduced contact time? Explain that it is not possible for you to do the role in the hours as it currently stands and that you don't want to leave the school so are wondering what they can offer. Be sure to explain that it's not the money, but the time that's the issue.

I think you would be wise to stay in the job but renegotiate the hours / responsibility

I have been teaching for 15 years and I think you have worked too hard to give up during these difficult years of childcare. I would take a career break or reduce the management responsibility and just teach.

Best of luck.

I would consider taking on a different management role - a TLR in an area on the school development plan perhaps - but with less work than head of department (I'm asssuming you are) or cutting back to just teaching. I dropped my TLR - yes I worry that I might struggle to work my way up again, but on the plus side I have retained my career in teaching. I imagine that in a few years I may want to go back full time and for my a job that pays well and gives me holidays with my kids is one worth trying to keep my hand in with.

Thanks for your replies. I have got some ideas of what I'd do if I gave up work - and ones which would bring in some money just not as much as I'm used to in my current job.

I really can't face starting somewhere new (teaching) at the moment. I doubt I'd get a better workplace elsewhere. Friends who have left all say their new schools are nothing in comparison.

However, I'm going to sit tight for the next couple of months and have a good think.

tethersend I've looked into university teacher training roles although nothing relevant has come up yet but, having mentored many beginner teachers over the years, that is a role I'd love to have.

I could almost have written your post a couple of years ago! I was having a nightmare time in school, basically because I simply could not juggle the workloads + looking after 2 young children. I also had a DH who worked long hours, and we also came into a fairly substantial inheritance (enough to pay off mortgage anyway). In the end I resigned - it was either resign or have a nervous breakdown really. BUT I was terrified, and for a long time the thought didn't occur to me to just pack in. For some reason, I had a mental block over the idea of being a SAHM, even though I know loads of other people do it. Even when I resigned I was frantically applying for jobs, assuming I had to get a job somewhere else. Anyway, fate stepped in, and I resigned without another job to go to, and it has been one of the best decisions that I have ever made. A few weeks after I packed in, my DH was headhunted for a job overseas, which he wouldn't have been able to take if I'd been working, but we decided he should take it, and he is now earning more than we were both earning combined. I stopped panicking about 'needing' to work, and just concentrated on the kids and doing things that I enjoy when I get a bit of spare time. And, doors have opened that I never in my wildest dreams would have even thought about, and I'm now considering running my own business!! So, since you have the inheritance, I would just pack in the job - there are so many other opportunities out there, but if you stay in the teaching job, you won't have the time or the energy, and you'll be too blinkered by just teaching, to see what's out there. Go have an adventure!

driftingoff wow! That's amazing! I feel excited for you. Serendipity at its best?!

I met with a friend today who I've not seen for a while and tentatively told her my thoughts on giving up work ... I really thought she would try and convince me to stay on but she actually suggested I do something I've already been thinking about doing if I gave up work, and said I'd be really good at it. I was really pleased as she works in a similar field so it's given me a real confidence boost when I was starting to lapse back into safety mode.

The idea of doing what I'm doing now this time next year is depressing and makes me feel exhausted just thinking about if, but a change, even if it's scary, makes me feel excited again.

I definitely need a change to shake things up so even if I stay in teaching, I do really think something has to change. I'm usually a really positive person but all I seem to do at the moment is moan and complain- and that's not good for anyone.

If you have a substantial inheritance coming in, and are interested in University teacher training, have you considered doing a PhD in education? It would take you three years but might be exactly what you're looking for in terms of a move sideways into training teachers, and if you needed a bit of money coming in you could always teach a day or so of supply. The Institute for Education, University of London, in Bloomsbury is excellent - have a look at their website!

piratepanda (cool name btw) that's an excellent suggestion - I've toyed with going back into academia too. I've never had the financial security until now. I will investigate. :)

And I've worked with The Institute before so it would definitely be a good option

Sounds like could be just the thing for you then! Thanks for liking my name :-)

Yes, that may be an option as well. I've got the luxury of a bit of thinking time now anyway as I don't need to make a final decision just yet but I certainly won't rush into anything.

I am in a very similar position, am a HoD and the sane as you find I am sitting down to work at 8pm and worrying about the work I need to do over the weekends. I would advise you to go for it and give up- especially with financial backing. The only thing I would say is think about the school holidays... These will be a god send when kids in school which is stopping me make the leap! Let me know how you get on.

piratepanda don't know if you'll ever see this but I just thought I'd update this by saying I gave up my management teaching job last year to go part time AND do a doctorate - exactly like you said. A bit of a circuitous route to get there but I'm doing it - and getting on really well. Thanks! X