My job is pointless and I'm fed up but can't leave! What do I do?

[pleaseclosethedoor]

Has anyone else been in my situation? I could really do with some empathy and advice.

I've been in my current job for about six months and it's making me so depressed. I really dread going in each day, my DH has noticed a big difference in my mood and it just seems to be getting worse and worse. I actually ended up crying in the toilets today.

The thing is (and this is the part where I start to sound like an ungrateful and entitled brat) it's really not THAT bad. The culture isn't particularly great and it's not one of those offices where everyone is really happy and dynamic, but it's not like I'm being bullied or overworked. I haven't particularly 'clicked' with my colleagues, but I don't actively dislike them. I'm just SO bored and demotivated.

My job is completely pointless and I add no value whatsoever. My manager seems to have no idea why I'm there - she changes her mind about what she actually wants me to do pretty much every week. It's not really her fault - I was recruited by someone else who seemed to have very specific ideas about what she wanted me to do, but then she left a couple of weeks after I joined! I feel a bit sorry for my manager as I think she is genuinely a lovely person but it's just a bit ridiculous - she keeps giving me projects to do but it's like I'm a kid on work experience. It really doesn't make much difference whether I do them or not, they make so little impact on the organisation.

I guess for some people it might be a dream job - I've basically got a blank slate to come up with whatever I feel like doing and get paid for it. But I'm just not that kind of person - I like being busy and I want to feel like I'm doing something which is actually worthwhile and necessary.

I know some will say I should just leave, but I feel like that would be really foolish. The salary is fairly good (not megabucks, but probably better than the amount I could get elsewhere). The work/life balance is fine. I'm not being badly treated. And DH and I are due to start TTC in the next twelve months and this organisation offers great maternity benefits and flexible working/part time options for those with families. My DH thinks I should just think long-term and stick it out.

I guess I need one of the following. Either a good talking to for being such an ungrateful twat when so many people are unemployed and looking for work and would absolutely kill to be in my ridiculously fortunate position. Or advice from those who have been in my situation and can help me with ideas on how I can make the situation a bit more bearable so that this doesn't get me down so much.

Can anyone help?

Youvegothelove that's exactly what I do all day.

I make sure I keep an active social life and always have something to look forward to! Holidays, classes, new hobby, new skill.

youvegotthelove

"And on the off chance I do have anything remotely important to do or have an opportunity to use my initiative and do something off my own bat, I feel so stuck in a rut and lethargic, I can't be arsed".

THIS, exactly this.

Oh my goodness you are all describing me too! I was made redundant from my last job a week before I got married. That was March last year. I got a new job quickly, was hired by someone with real vision for my job, hewas promoted and moved, and since I arrived no one else knows what to do with me. I am paid more than the rest of the team and was given great benefits so the people I work close to hate me and won't help me, they just shoot me down. DH and I are both 35 and wanted to try for a baby as soon as we got married. We waited to try until the first week of my new job to try to ensure I got SMP but 8 months later we haven't yet been successful. I feel demotivated, unskilled and trapped. I hate going to work and isit in my car at lunch time and on the toilet during work hours just feeling depressed. Sorry so many others have stories like mine. I no longer have advice for anyone else but bucket loads of empathy. X

Mrsbabookaloo, I work in the public sector too. I know how you feel about being a waste of public money. I went into the public sector because I feel passionately about public service. I hate public money being wasted so to know that I am a big fat waste of money really demoralises me. Still, at least I have asked for a meeting with my manager so I am at least trying to become useful!
OP it would be interesting to hear back from you. From my experience, if things are to improve you will need to see what your contribution can be and make it happen. If that is not possible please leave. Your dh mentioned the long view. Well the real long view is that if you spend several years under performing it will be nigh on possible to get another job. How will you sell yourself to interviewers? If you leave your job after a short time it will be much easier. I left a previous non job after a year. It would have been obvious to those who interviewed me that all my examples were from previous jobs, but that is okay. People understand that sometimes a job does not work out and people leave. But if you have sat doing nothing useful for years, no potential employer will look understandingly at that.

I do sympathise OP, but its not easy out in the job market. I got made redundant from the sort of job you describe - great benefits, no personal interest and fulfillment. It took me a year to find something else, and now i have a job which is much more rewarding and busy, but really badly paid and a one year contract. In all honesty I would return to the higher paid more secure job and try and be more proactive in making it better and being more engaged.

Im not saying you cant have the benefits and an interesting job, and of course its always worth looking, but dont place too little value on what you have - being fulfilled is nice but good pay and benefits are really great too.

I'm so sorry not to have posted again until now! I didn't realise this thread would get so many comments, I just came back here to update and saw them all!

First, thanks so much to everyone who has shared their experiences. It has genuinely made me feel SO much better to know I'm not the only one feeling like this. I was worried I'd get a bit of a bashing for being ungrateful for what I have, so I really appreciate all of the understanding. I've always been more of a 'work to live' than a 'live to work' kind of person, so I've actually been really surprised by how much this situation has affected me and knocked my confidence.

I decided that this job probably is never going to be a long-term thing for me, but I didn't want to give up on it without at least trying to make things better. I arranged a meeting with my manager which was bloody terrifying but actually went really well. I was just quite honest about feeling underused and asked if I could take on anything more high-profile. I had a couple of suggestions for things I'd like to start doing, and I made a case for why I'd be the right person to do them. She actually didn't seem that surprised - I think she knows that I've been getting the less desirable work!

It obviously hasn't transformed things overnight, but I have already been given some more interesting work to do. I'll see how things go, and I've given myself a deadline of July. I figured a year is a respectable period of time to stay in a job before moving on, so if things haven't got better by then I'm going to start applying for other things.

Thanks everyone for giving me the kick I needed to actually do something proactive. I really appreciate it.