Resigning from a good job - happiness must come first right?

[Chellors123]

Hi

I have been with current employer for a number of years and 18 months ago was approached to be promoted to a management role. My time in this role has not been enjoyable, it's stressful, the people (it's a different area of the business) are intimidating and constantly undermine my decisions. I have bee unhappy for some time due to the way they make me feel and have been in tears many times, I'm not sleeping and it's affecting home life and I've ended up shouting at kids more times than I wish because I'm stressed with work. I have flagged to my manager how I am feeling and how I'm struggling with some characters in team and this has been fed back. I've seen pockets of improvement but they won't change. Bottom line is though I don't want to stay in the job as I can't work with people like this.

The reason I ask the above question is I have now been told I will have to pick up the workload of someone in my team who is leaving so this will double my workload until a replacement is found. I had found a replacement but it was vetoed as they felt the person didn't have the right skill set.

I have an exemplary performance record and have a good reputation (it's a small organisation) there might be a chance of working in a different department but it's a case of waiting for something to come up. I just can't wait any longer and need to do something to resolve this. Some may say go off with stress due to workload but that's not really my style and part of me thinks this will really leave them inn the lurch especially as I am the manager of the team. I feel like just resigning. I have 12 weeks notice so will have time to find something else. Fortunately DP has a good job so we can survive on his salary for the time being.

Am I silly to just resign and move on? I plan to get a job which is at a lower level with less stress.

Did you retrain, placeinthesun?

No I didn't retrain, got hired as a PA to the director of a firm that does IT products for lawyers by the enlightened CEO who said 'I don't know what to do with you but I like you and want you in my company' when she met me for an interview (after I emailed said firm drunk and someone liked my CV).....got moved into a different role 6 weeks in as I expressed an interest in it (and was frankly pants at being a PA after years of having my own secretaries, PA's, trainees etc). I've actually done 3 different things in the company now but am settled into one main role now and have a secondary role as their in house legal advisor so do get to make use of my legal skills. I was in tears about my legal career and pissed when I emailed the company saying 'I know my CV just show's I'm a good [specialism] lawyer but there's more to me than that and I am interested in IT'.....

I NEVER EVER thought they'd really either interview me or offer me a job. I was meant to interview for a specific job (that would have been impossible with DC) but new office junior screwed up and booked my interview when I said I was away on hoilday. They called on the day and said 'why aren't you hear' and were super apologetic and lined up the meeting with the CEO the following week as an alternative/apology. Said office junior ended up breifly as my underling and is now a leading light in the marketing department writing all the copy and press materials.

oops *here not hear!

Do what is right for you. I felt like you. I resigned. I was hugely relieved. But please have a plan. After being officially unemployed for a year I was pretty desperate and we were financially close to the edge. Some things I wished I thought through better prior to quitting

1. What Do you want to do?
2. can you afford to do that?
3. what are the implications - financial, emotional, self esteem relationship
4. how will you explain a career break to future employer
5. If thIs ends up as a break- ie unemployed longer than you'd like - what will you .fo?
6. Are you ready to say you need to work out a transfer plan now or you're off? If you're ready to quit anyway, might be worth it
7. Am I ready to take a job at a lower status level and pay? For a better life quality.

Placeinthesun, I am a PA and have dreamed for years that I will take on other projects, get noticed and get the hell out of this bloody admin ghetto. Trouble is, I am so busy wiping director's arses I never have a chance to take on other interesting stuff. I must learn to be a bit more crap at my job so they move me sideways!

Iamthenewgirl my top tips for proving crap at a PA job = asking for a dictaphone when asked to write a letter (well I'd been dictating for years), revealing that the 'experienced in the use of Excel' & Powerpoint' on my CV meant I'd occasionally asked someone to produce a spreadsheet or powerpoint for me in the past, having no concept of 'shared calendars' in outlook, forgetting I was the one meant to be first to answer the office phone, leaving urgent post on the office juniors desk to take out having forgotten she was on annual leave for another 5 days and getting the footage for our new office requirements wrong by 5000 feet! They moved me sideways out of sympathy and desperation.

Ha ha! Yes, I do laugh when they give PA jobs to young ladies with no experience because 'she seems like a nice girl'. There is a little bit more to it than just looking good and making the tea.

Sorry to hear many are in the same situation. I believe happiness comes first and it is becoming quite apparent at work that I do not figure in the long term plans - work which should really be my remit is being allocated elsewhere, just wish people would be upfront and honest and not so underhand.

Honestly I feel quite emotional about it as 18 months ago I never saw myself leaving and was a well respected member of the team but I guess things change, the environment and people/management in the area I now work in are not nice and the stress isnt worth it - just having problems letting go but I have to do it for the sake of my health, happiness and family. The market out there is pretty bouyant so fingers crossed! For those that have taken the plunge already I look forward to that sense of relief :-)

You are so lucky Chellors that your DP has a good job and scan support you both for a while.
However have you asked if your DP is happy in their job or would like to quit.

I think you have to acknowledge the signs and act on them. Nothing lasts forever and it is bet to let go of things that aren't working for you. You need to leave space for greater things to turn up!

Best of luck.