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Back to work after mat leave-feeling crap

6 replies

omri · 28/10/2014 09:11

I've just started back to work (10 days ago) after 7 months mat leave with dc2 and I hate it! I've just pulled a sickie this morn - couldn't face it. I just feel crap in there. Can't concentrate and think my work is probably v poor quality. I suppose part of it is feeling depressed that my lovely mat leave is over. But I really feel like I've lost all my skills and confidence. There is also pressure on me as dh is not working and sahd looking after the children. I suppose that adds to the burden as I know I can't reduce hours or anything.

OP posts:
omri · 28/10/2014 09:14

Posted too soon- sorry.i should also say I work 9-6and expected to log on in the eve as well and answer emails. I don't know what my question is. Just looking for a bit of moral support I suppose- and to hear if anyone has been through similar and it's all turned out ok in the end..?! Thanks Smile

OP posts:
SkylerShah · 28/10/2014 16:48

Hi omri

This may sound very obvious, but 'feeling crap' is one of the first indicators that something is not how you'd like. I'm a coach. I change lives every day and I do it because I love it. I would like to ask you some questions, you don't have to answer, sometimes just knowing they exist can help.

"I've just started back to work (10 days ago) after 7 months mat leave with dc2 and I hate it!"

What is it about it that you hate exactly?

"I've just pulled a sickie this morn - couldn't face it."

What is there to 'face' you?

"I just feel crap in there."

You're speaking as if you have been contained. What is it that you feel crap in?

"Can't concentrate and think my work is probably v poor quality."

When you're not concentrating on work, what are you concentrating on? Why does it bother you that your work is probably poor?

"I suppose part of it is feeling depressed that my lovely mat leave is over."

:) What made it so lovely?

"But I really feel like I've lost all my skills and confidence"
The beautiful thing about life is that we never stop learning, even when we try! Things like the skills you've crafted over time and confidence stay with you, often it's when we forget that we have it that we begin it's gone. What five things have you done throughout your mat, that have required you to be confident (in any way).

"There is also pressure on me as dh is not working and sahd looking after the children. I suppose that adds to the burden as I know I can't reduce hours or anything."

Supporting yourself and your family doesn't 'have to' be a "burden". In what way could it be a joy?

"i should also say I work 9-6and expected to log on in the eve as well and answer emails."

Why was this particularly important for you to add?

"I don't know what my question is."

I have one for you, "If I never had to concern myself with money, what would I do for free?"

These may be uncomfortable questions to deal with, and the answers may be uncomfortable too. But that is where magic happens, outside of your comfort zone. The feelings you have and the circumstances you are in are in many ways gifts.

Love,

Skyler

omri · 29/10/2014 00:15

Skyler- thank you so much for your response. Meant a lot to me. I will get back to your questions in the next day or so... I might pm you if that's ok. Thanks again Smile

OP posts:
YonicScrewdriver · 29/10/2014 00:29

It's a big change, it is going to feel odd, and you've gone straight into full time. Can you book a day off every couple of weeks for a couple of months, to ease you in a bit more?

SkylerShah · 29/10/2014 10:03

Hi omri

That's not a problem at all. I'm glad I could help. :)

Love,

Skyler

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 29/10/2014 19:29

Oh my gosh, you sound just like me only I'm not even back yet (next month!) :-( ... I must say skylers advice sounds great, you see I have done it before, I know I can do it, but it's so hard when you step out if the wheel of working to pick up the mentality again, I'm finding the prospect hideous as this maternity leave has been amazing (relaxing and enjoyable), not the stressed, first time mum experience of last time - all good things must come to an end though eh?!

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