Bullied to work more hours....

[littleladybird14]

So I've been back in work now for just over a year. After a flexible working application I was granted three days per week. As part of my application I said I would try to be as flexible as possible and look into all childcare possibilities where I may be required to work an unscheduled day.
Since May every month I have been asked to either work extra days or swap my current normal shift pattern to fit in with the business however recently rather than being asked if I can, it feels like I'm being told with very little lack of care as to the lengths I'm having to go to to find extra childcare.
I raised my concerns at a meeting with my manager as she'd emailed me telling me I had to work a full week next June to cover too many staff in the team having holidays(that's she had already granted without consulting with me!) I said I could provisionally agree to this but that I would need to review closer to the time as I only have my mum to help and she's 72 now so I don't like to put on her too much. I also said I need to be paid for additional days rather than swapping my current shift pattern as it is actually leaving me out if pocket with additional nursery days or travelling a distance to my mum. My manager said she would discuss with her manager and come back to me as I had agreed I would swap days and they had not agreed to pay me for these.
So now I've had a snotty email from my manager saying I need to be more flexible and that 8 months notice is sufficient time for me to arrange childcare, and that they won't pay me for these days - I need to swap with my normal days where I have nursery paid for!
It's totally rubbed me up the wrong way and I feel angry now that I've gone out of my way for the past few months for them with not even a thank you and now they're getting funny with me for this. I feel like I'm being bullied into working these extra days. I told my manager how stressful it is for me to arrange these extra days and the effect it is having on me and my family. I also said I wanted to sign up to classes in the new year with my son on my days off but that if I were to miss these again this would be detrimental to me financially as well as with spending time with my son, which was the reason I wanted to go part time in the first place.
Nothing was ever agreed in writing regarding these extra days, just my normal shift pattern and working hours. Surely I'm well within my rights to say no aren't i?

I think they will probably use the (likely) clause in your contract that says hours aren't fixed, they can ask you to do whatever, you're required to do whatever hours the job required etc but actually, if you can't because of caring responsibilities, you do have some protection.

I had a similar situation when my Dc were small. It was a long time ago now and I can't remember all the details but I know that once I took advice from these people the company backed right down.

Thanks PJ I'll contact them and see what they suggest ??

I have every sympathy and have left previous jobs because of similar problems and "the needs of the business" coming first. Why can't your partner take leave from work to cover these extra hours for childcare? This is what we have to do, although it sucks, take opposite holidays.

I think they see you are willing and are pushing it as they think they can.

What is it you need to attend/do each month when they are asking you to work extra/swop? Is you being flexible the only solution? Is it that important?

I just wonder if it easier to get you to do x than it is to delegate to someone else or pay a temp etc.

What if you worked on your days "off" or had some other unmoveable appt etc?

How flexible are they with you? I know they granted the flex work application but they are saving 2 daya a week of your salary...

I think they are making assumptions because you have your mum to help that you can just move stuff about.

I don't really also see why you should have to cover the fact they have allowed a number of staff to holiday at once.

I know it is difficult. I am sure you don't want to rock the boat. But I'd check out what the 'legal' stance is at were and try to push back etc.

Yeah I think MML they've seen me agree to all their requests so far and taking advantage of it even though theyve seen me struggle with childcare, pick ups and drop offs etc.
the reason for their requests varies from covering holidays to meetings they arrange on days I'm not normally in but should attend. They could be arranged on other days but they don't!
I really don't want my DH to have to take holidays alternatively as that defeats the object of the work life balance I requested when returning.
I know that if they were ever asked to work a weekend and it impacted on them i doubt they would agree.
Btw my immediate line manager has never had kids and her manager has a grown up child so very little sympathy :-/
I think I'm just going to have to be tough and say no where I realistically can't help, whether this is childcare or already having arrangements with my DS, just concerned that I'll be outcast and treated unfairly going forwards as punishment....low pay rise, no bonus etc...something I imagine they would do! Aghhh!!

Hi,

I had a similar problem in the NHS (of all places) when new shift rotas came in. I work 3 days a week - fixed. They wanted me to work all over the place and at short notice. I have no family support (my mum in law died years ago and my mum is older than yours and has ill health).
I put a flexible working request in and they agreed to keeping my days fixed but they still put me down for on call etc. on the rota and expect me to swap!
The thing that annoys me is that people get flexible working who don't need it as much as you do.
I hope you get sorted. They are really taking advantage of you.

Apple- my experience was in the NHS too! Almost identical to yours except they would only honour my fixed days for 6 months! After 14 years I felt sad I had no option but to leave.

Evening littleladybird14,

It's never nice to hear someone's having such an unpleasant time. It's insane, but what you've described is very, very common. I change lives for a living, I do it because I love it and such is my desire to guide, that I have asked some questions below. If you choose to answer them, you may find that things look differently. I hope they help. I understand the answers may be very personal, so feel free to reply directly.

"Since May every month I have been asked to either work extra days or swap my current normal shift pattern to fit in with the business."

What is the most important thing to you in your life right now, and how is that being affected by these changes to, "to fit in with the business."?

"however recently rather than being asked if I can, it feels like I'm being told"

How does this make you feel? What did that do to you?

"I said I could provisionally agree to this but that I would need to review closer to the time."

You're being asked to compromise. In it's nature, that's not a very pleasant thing. What would have happened if you had said, "No"?

"it is actually leaving me out if pocket with additional nursery days or travelling"

What are the benefits of doing what you do?

"So now I've had a snotty email from my manager saying I need to be more flexible"

What does this do to you? What difference would adding this to that sentence make? "So now I've had a snotty email from my manager saying I need to be more flexible - if I want the job"

"I also said I wanted to sign up to classes in the new year with my son on my days off but that if I were to miss these again this would be detrimental to me financially"

This is great. At no point have you not been certain of what you want.

"as well as with spending time with my son, which was the reason I wanted to go part time in the first place"

This is great too! You have your desired lifestyle. How important is it that you live this?

"Nothing was ever agreed in writing regarding these extra days, just my normal shift pattern and working hours. Surely I'm well within my rights to say no aren't i?"

Is this the question you want to be asking?

You're alright.

Love,

Skyler

Bit confused skyler with your questions

I sympathise, as I have had my own woes around flexible working in the past.

Where you might have gone wrong is in acting too much as if they have done you a favour - be appreciative, yes; offer infinite flexibility, no.

I think the June thing is a 'false friend' in that maybe that is the one occasion on which you might consider swapping to cover AL and help your employer out of a bind. But what you want to crack down upon is the swapping week in/week out.

Start to set boundaries around weeks where it is less important eg. 'Sorry, I won't be at that meeting as I don't work that day, I will read the minutes afterwards'.

little I think Skyler (real name btw) is demonstrating his life coaching abilities. He has popped up on a few threads....

Thanks branchingout, advice is much appreciated. I think it is a case of just stopping the ongoing changes as it's all just got a bit expected now.

And thanks MML, I just needed some ideas not a reassessment of my whole life, lol!