Stage 2 absence and work... Please help!

[Kittyflower85]

Hi there
I would be so grateful for any advice you can give me. I have been working for the same financial institution since 2012 and I think I have a bit of a bad reputation there regarding my sick days and absences. I have been given a stage 1 absence from my manager and I was off a further time and have been invited (though given no date yet) to take part in. Stage 2 absence meeting. I have been suffering from migraines which accounts for most of my absences and they have not given me a DSE despite me asking for it. The company is working a contract for a massive bank and it's not very well organised. I am not happy because I was not
Given any information after my stage 1 warning regarding what would happen if I had a further absence - nor did I receive a copy of the notes or the letter itself. My manager is rather lazy about paperwork but ultimately this is like a black mark against my name.
I think I suffer from depression as there are some periods when I just don't want to go to work to the point where I can't physically face it. I've left the house and found myself calling in sick on the way there. I am a fat person and I think this adds to my depression. I'm not making excuses as there are none, I think I have just found life difficult especially over the last year or so and my absences have increased since then. I am trying to mKe positive changes in my life so that I am fitter and healthier. I feel like at work I am judged for being off sick because of my weight (although of course no one has said anything) and I feel it implies I'm lazy (which you may assume too.) I don't wNt to make any excuses for myself oter than to say I'm finding life hard. I suppose I want to know how best to proceed as I can't be off again and I am worried about losing my job as I need it. I know people will have their opinions but life is not black and white.

Any advice would be great
Thanks
Kittyflower85

I felt very low and had a period of poor attendance due to a combination of a physical illness and extreme stress at work and a bad home situation. What helped me was:
Acknowledging and asking for help. In the short term, I went to my GP and then after diagnosis went to my boss to say I was having these issues.
I then got a new job which was more aligned to my passions, closer to home and less stress.
I had counselling for some underlying massive stresses.
I took up yoga
I spent time actually building supportive friendships rather than isolating myself.
Perhaps this might work for you?

I think if you want or expect your employer to make allowances for conditions, they may ask what steps you are taking to manage them or put you in touch with occupational health. Ultimately it may come to a point where they cannot support you any further so I would be as proactive as possible to postpone/avoid this. Easier said than done I know, but much as working is bringing you down, it may be good for you to have that structure and income.

Do you think working somewhere else would be better?

Thank you both. I definitely have to work- not just financially but I think I would be very down if I didn't work as I wouldn't have a purpose or structure to the week. I definitely need a better work life balance in terms of activities and things I can do to relieve stress and feel better about myself. I sort of feel that I can't get over this bad period in my life while I work for this employer because i feel that they must be judging me. I am looking for work elsewhere and I worry about my reference as they normally refer to sick days. I am a very good worker and have had 2 promotions in the last 2 years based on merit and I know they don't think I am a lazy worker. I've been to the doctor about my migraines and my depression and been given tablets which I don't feel I want to take. I work about 30 miles away and I don't drive so rely on someone to car share so when she is off I struggle getting to work due to the hours. I am just not a happy soul at the moment but my personality I find it hard to say what I feel to my loved ones in terms of being weak or unhappy. My mum fat shames me constantly and I think I probably have a lot to get over and work through. I know my problems are minuscule but to me they feel like a mountain.