business owner - does it get easier?

[17thOct]

Had a near melt-down yesterday. On phone to HMRC almost ALL day (on hold, waiting, no-one knew the answers...). My 3 year old was crying, my 2 year old was creating chaos. I just felt it was all too much for me. I usually have childcare in place so yesterday was an exception and I had to ring HMRC to go through a penalty notice I'd received (for something I didn't know I had to do). So, I own a limited company, work for myself since leaving corporate world after my 1st child. I have some great clients - set up 18 months ago. Does it get easier? Will I get to grips with running a company? Will I ever feel less stressed? Will it all significantly improve when children are at school? I just don't know at the moment whether setting up on my own was actually the great idea I thought it would be...

Kind of depends. How many days a week do you have childcare? I work properly with childcare three days a week and do very little on the other two days, answer the occasional email is all really. I wouldn't try to make a phone call with ds around and awake, if absolutely necessary is try to meet a friend at a cafe and get her to watch ds while I step outside to make the call.
I think the truth is that you wouldn't bring your kids to the office so you can't expect to do work when with the kids.

I too spent most of yesterday on hold to HMRC. But have been running a business for nearly 10 years now. Yes, it gets easier, yes, it's great when the kids are at school, and you get to have a job but still do pick up/drop off/school assemblies etc.

I have people that I can chat to about stuff that's worrying me though - I am in a network of other small businesses, and I employ people ad hoc to do the bits that I find too difficult like filing. Make sure you're charging enough to pay yourself for the business admin too (basic rookie mistake is to think I want to ear £x /ph, so I'll charge £x - you need to be charging between 1.5 and 2 times your hourly rate really)

If there are any women only business networking opportunities, take them - it's really nice to be make friends that understand where you are, and can support you...

Hi thanks for reply. I have childcare for about 3 days (mixture of half days etc.) - I'm thinking this is my main problem - I need more childcare. But my youngest is only 2.5 - he seems so little. Just had a really bad day yesterday and wanted to rant really. I just hope it all gets a bit easier ....

It's notoriously difficult but it will get easier. I've been doing it for 9 years now and still find it stressful occasionally. My major tip is buy a diary and write all deadlines in immediately. I make a note of every VAT quarter, when the annual return is due, corporation tax, self assessment, etc and even when credit cards/rent/wages are to be paid. It's made life much easier as I no longer wake up at 3am fretting that I've forgotten to do PAYE or a VAT return.

It's hard work, it really is. I'm pregnant with my first and I laugh my head off every time someone mentions maternity leave to me. Not an option. It has it's good points though. I can take holiday when I want (ok, it's rare), I can go home early, I can start late and I get the nice benefits of having lovely clients - I'm currently on holiday near St. Tropez in a £million house.

The long hours, sleepless nights, horrific clients are a distant memory on days like this!

Keep going. PM me if you want to chat - it's incredibly difficult to talk to friends who don't run their own business as they don't understand the stress.

Can't tell you how grateful I am for the replies so far. It's made me feel instantly better. Was all for winding up company & calling it a day. Things really were bad yesterday! I can't talk to my friends, as they just don't understand the pressures. DH is supportive but I think he's had enough of my stress. He thinks I should maybe just quit. But then what? Back to corporate world & the commute & hours that go with that. Good advice re. diarising. I need to get on top of everything so that I feel more in control & to prevent another penalty. Rage!

Yup. You need to control your working hours as if you were an employee. Plan out what you are doing and when. I've got a wall planner where every half day that ds is with nursery or mil is accounted for.
2.5 isn't Young for childcare - but if you'd rather be with your children more then you just need to ensure you match your work ambitions to your available time.

Hello

Sounds like a really stressful day. Glad you were feeling a little better.

It sounds like you have done a really good job of building up a business with 2 very young DC, so well done on that.

I have been on my own for nearly 4 years now.

I find there are peaks and troughs. I am not sure school has made much difference to me, as DS was in nursery and now he is in school he goes to wraparound care.

The advantages of running your own thing is that you can fit into 'school life' a little more easily. I have found that a lot of meetings happen during school hours and of course xmas plays, sports day etc are all during the school day too. It is also helpful to 'get the school gates' a couple of times a week to help to know the other parents (esp those of your DC's friends), the teacher & to see the notices that the school puts in the classroom window which is very helpful for parents that work full time

I would echo what hazel says. If you are busy it could be worth thinking about what you can outsource. If you don't want to increase your hours, then maybe try ensure that the hours that you do have are being used in the best way. I have used Virtual Assistants (VA's) before and for c£12 - 15 per hour they can do all sorts for you. I have also used www.peopleperhour.com to find people to do things for me.

I have also started to use a business coach recently which provides me with an outlet and helps me feel like I am moving forward etc. I have found it really helpful.

I also have a 'buddy' which I met on this board and we catch up every few weeks via phone we are in the same sort of area which helps.

I would try to develop a network if you don't have one. A lot of my friends don't really get it either, DH is very supportive and interested though which is helpful.

When I feel like you did yesterday I basically cling onto the idea that the flex is worth the stress.

I find it difficult to take it easy when I don't have as much on, but I really force myself as there are days when I cannot take it easy.

Finally, I find it all an ongoing 'learning journey' and if something doesn't work (eg calling HMRC with the DC about) then I try to remember not to do it next time. I am not sure you can be taught any of these things, we just have to work out what works for us etc.

HTH & good luck.

TBH if you do not have an accountant, get one.

My clients get me to do all that crap.
I phone HMRC on an almost daily basis.
I use the old numbers that get you straight through to a human.
I read their manuals back at them.
I do not put up with their crap.

Yes, it costs my clients, but a lot less than it would for them to do it themselves

and DH encourages it because targeting my psychotic side at HMRC is better than anywhere else

LOL :-) TalkinPeace I hear you, the joys of HMRC, I get off the phone almost everytime (as sometimes I get one that actually knows what they are talking about) and think, wow, glad my client didnt have to deal with that person as they would be completely confused and going in the total wrong direction now!

It is hard trying to work around kids (I have a 2 and a 3 yr old so making phone calls for work is really tricky (well basically impossible) on my non childcare days) but there are a lot of us in that position - facebook has a ton of great groups for mums in business which I find wonderful as I know it's not just me going through it (and good for the occasional vent to which we all need!!) xx

thanks everyone - some great advice. Will read through carefully now & make notes! Rule number one - I need to be more organised with my time.

My rule of thumb is if it costs less per hour than you make per hour, outsource it. I have a cleaner who also irons, grocery shop online and ds was in childcare pre school.

My accounts are actually very straightforward so I do them myself, but if they had me on the phone to HMRC for a day then I'd be outsourcing them too...

Great advice on here, especially from Mrs Margot. Yes it DOES get easier when the kids are at school - childcare of half a day at a time means you won't be able to properly get into anything (obviously I don't know what you do for a living so I may be wrong) - could you have a couple of full days? You do have to be very organised and agree completely on outsourcing the things that cost less than you charge. Cleaning and housework especially, I have paid someone to do that although I'm not now. I have straightforward book-keeping requirements but my problem is I never get round to doing them, or have to do them all in one go to get my books to the accountant on time!

Working for yourself isn't easy and you have to do several jobs at once, but the flexibility it gives you is so much better than being an employee.