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Isolated at work - suggestions, please!

3 replies

Marina11 · 13/10/2014 16:54

Started a new job recently. Same organisation, a university, and a very similar job but a different department. Should have been great - I'd worked there before albeit in a part-time but more responsible post and I was very happy at that time.

Moved back to this dept recently. Very much more office bound than before. I'm with a couple of people who are friends outside work, and who are working together on several projects and not including me.

It is hurtful. I'm supposed to be working with one of them - we share the same cohort of students - but she seems to find me rather dull - well, something, because I'm being ignored, barely spoken to and then it's rarely about work.

I hadn't expected to be quite so isolated. This soon into the job.

I have tried, hard, to be pro-active, I make every effort to be friendly and I am naturally inclusive. This is difficult. I'm sitting here now, the other two are giggling away over a session that they're organsing and I feel, well, very lonely. I'm trying to make alliances outside the team - the job lends itself to that - but within the team - it's really them and me.

Boss - not sure - might be OK but I'd like to deal with this within the very small team.

OP posts:
tiawalters · 13/10/2014 19:00

Do you work part time and them full time? The reason I ask is that I work part time and feel that some people in the team might resent that.

I also feel very isolated at work, though I have a friend in another team with whom I have lunch. I sympathise with you OP, but I don't have much advice to give other than don't let them see it's bothering you.

Marina11 · 13/10/2014 19:16

Thanks for your kind words, tia. I work full time.
I take your point about not letting people see that I'm upset -

OP posts:
JustSayNoNoNo · 14/10/2014 23:11

Have I got this right: you are friends with 2 colleagues outside of work, but they seem to ignore you at work?

Possible reasons:

  • they see you as someone to meet socially, and are having trouble adjusting to you being at work with them;
  • they have a long history together and have developed a close working relationship, almost like a (work) 'married couple';
  • they could be anxious about their own positions / situations and are, either consciously or unconsciously, protecting themselves.

Is your role & objectives clear - to you, and also to them?
Are you able to do your job and meet your objectives?
Could you ask for an interim review, especially if you are on probation still?
Do you feel able to ask your line manager for their view on how having you on the team is working out?
Have you thought about seeking out a mentor, and/or someone outside the department to act as a sounding board?

Hope you get it sorted out.

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