Husband has had a meeting with HR and I am worried he has given too much away

[worryforhubby]

A long story short DH has been off since July after suffering from a breakdown. He is a lot better now, still not ready to go back to work.

The reason for his breakdown, was bullying and harassment from his area manager.

He met today with the HR department for a welfare meeting, he took along 4 pages of detailed notes which state exactly what the area manager said and done (they took a photocopy of them). He asked them about putting in a grievance about the manager but they did not give him any advice on how to do it.

So DH is at home, not put in a grievance, but they have all his notes on what the complaints are, I am worried that they will try and have answers ready when he finally gets round to putting in a complaint, my dh is still very fragile and has taken a step back today after the meeting.

Any advice / help would be appreciated.

They should have a grievance policy. Ask HR to send him a copy if it is not in the staff handbook. Do they have an anti bullying policy? If what he has given them is the same as he would submit when he puts in the formal grievance I cannot see they have any particular advantage, unless of course he no longer has a copy of the notes and no longer intends to submit a formal grievance. I would suggest he should submit the grievance but the timing of this is now a problem because it appears he is not healthy enough to deal with the pressure this will inevitably bring. How likely is it they will refute some of his claims? There may be other complaints about this person. Can you/he not ask what happens now? What did HR say they were doing now?

I would also think carefully about what he now wants out of this situation. Definitely ask if he can take a friend (Union rep)along if he has a meeting with HR again. I feel he should not go alone. Try and negotiate what would be a good outcome. If this area manager is not going to be moved, could your DH go to a other job and have a new start? This can be a less stressful resolution.

So he had a breakdown due to bullying and harassment in July, and three months later has now given them details of what this person has done? Presumably his sick notes cited work related stress? Did no one make any effort to explore what caused it at the time, or since? Seems very strange.

I can't see any disadvantage in giving them details, why would there be? Either he does it in writing in a welfare meeting as he has done, or he puts it in writing and calls it a grievance, but either way, they can't address the problem unless they know what it is.

What does he see happening now? What does he think needs to happen for him to get back to work? Has his doctor been helpful at all?

Thanks for the replies.

No they have not asked before what caused this even though his sick notes stated work related stress and reactive depression.

He wanted to put in a grievance then with their advice on how to go about it, they have taken the notes but were unable to help him at this time put in the complaint.

He does want to go back but the thought of working with this guy again fills him with dread.

He has another welfare meeting in 4 weeks

They shouldn't need to help him put in a grievance as such, although assuming he asked for a copy of the grievance pricedure they should of course have given him one.

If he's not sure who to address a grievance to, and doesn't have a copy of the grievance procedure, he can just address it to HR. As long as he is clear in his letter that it is a formal grievance that will be fine.

Is going back but working for someone else likely to be possible?

I'm sorry that your husband is having these issues at work. I advise organisations on how to run grievances so can give him some help/advice on writing a grievance if he wanted. Just drop me PM if you want.

Hope that it isn't taking its toll on you both too much.