A question on References

[tiawalters]

I've been working part-time (in a sort of job share) at my job for five years.

We got a new line manager last year, and now I feel completely out of my depth at my job. I showed her a lot of support when she first joined in, but soon afterwards, for reasons I can only speculate about, she became very distant with me. She talks to me as if I were a child, and I feel I'm treated in a very dismissive way.

I always had good relationships with my two previous managers in this job, but now I feel I cannot trust this lady. I find her manipulative and sneaky.

I badly want to leave, but I'm concerned she might give me a bad reference. Could I please ask people with experience in giving references what kind of questions are normally asked?

I'm a responsible, hard-working person, but feel the relationship with this manager can be really detrimental for my career.

If I cannot get a new job because she's given a bad reference, is there anything I could do, or am I completely at her mercy?

I could be wrong, but I don't think a previous employer can give a bad reference. She could however not give one at all.

Can you not get one from someone else in the company?

Can you not ask your previous manager for a reference instead? I haven't used my last employer as a referee and it hasn't been an issue. No interviewer has even asked why. If asked why though you could just say you felt your previous manager had worked with you longer and you felt they could give a more in depth reference

Yes, I could her a reference from her line manager, and from my previous line manager, who retired and doesn't work there anymore.

I thought it was compulsory to put your current last manager as a referee.

Thank you so much for your replies so far!

Employers must give a reference that is factual, so if you were a thieving criminal this could absolutely be mentioned. In the sort of case you have mentioned it is highly unlikely the company would expose itself by giving a poor reference.

My employer doesn't decline to give references, but if there have been 'issues' with the employee she delays it..she says it gives all the info they need when it is delayed.

We would normally ask for a reference from the current/most recent line manager. If that's not possible though we'd talk it through with the applicant and get a different referee. I'd worry about it only if it becomes a problem - sounds like her reference might be lukewarm, but unless she says something untrue it would be hard for it to be a bad reference from what you've said.

Thanks everyone for your comments.

Putmedown: that's exactly the sort of thing this woman would do. She is very well versed in the language of twistedness and underhands. She understands so well those hidden messages because that's the way she functions.

I also think that I'm in a situation with her that whatever I do, it's never good enough. So I might as well do the minimum and try not to get too stressed about things.

The irony of this all is that I've always been conscientious and hard working, and juggling family and work has been really tough. There will be no positive rewards for me, and that's hard to accept.

A lot of employers give a 'tombstone reference' nowadays ie confirm name, job title, dates started and leaving, reason for leaving.

Can you find out from your HR department what information is given in a reference?

Yes, do you have a HR dept? If so put them down as a contact, a lot of places I worked frown upon line managers doing references as it's risky for the company (see above and not giving bad refs).

Two places I have worked for only allowed references through HR, I think it's quite common nowadays

I found out that my line manager from my last employer has just left after I'd been offered an interview. Will it now look bad if I have to tell them to contact someone else within the organisation?

Thank you so much for all your comments and replies. I've decided I will not use my current line manager as a referee, as even the thought of that stresses me.

I'll use my previous line manager, and her line manager, who still works for the organisation and has been for many years.