What do you think of my 'reason for application'??

[katiekatie]

Be brutal if you like...

I would like to return to permanent employment after some years at home with my children to work in a school and this post in particular because it is part time and term time.
Being a friendly and outgoing person, I enjoy engaging with people which is why I'd like to work in a school. I have experience working with people from all backgrounds and can liaise effectively with parents, teachers and other professionals.
I have previous secretarial experience including dealing with enquiries and complaints from members of the public, filing, taking messages, keeping records and administering first aid.
I also have experience drafting and typing official letters and bulletins as well as taking minutes, copying and sorting documents of all kinds.
In several jobs i have been autonomous and can use my own initiative if needs be. I'm also very organised and punctual. I enjoy working with the public, and I really would enjoy and embrace work as a school administrator.

Do not use "I'd", use "I would" if it is a formal letter. Similarly, do not use "I'm". Minor points but they do matter if you are applying for a school secretarial post.

In the last sentence, you've used "enjoy" twice in a sentence. The overall tone seems too informal and on the chatty side to me. Is this an email or a covering letter of application? Agree with toto not to implicitly imply that you are interested because it fits with your home life.

Focus on what you can bring to the job rather than why the job suits you. You also need to waffle less and break it down into components (why you want the job, what you can do, what you are good at). For e.g.:

Having spent a few years at home looking after my children I am now looking forward to returning to full-time work. I am particularly interested in this position as a school administrator as it enables me to bring my secretarial skills to a busy environment.

Some of the skills I have developed in previous positions include filing, record-keeping, taking messages, liaising between the school and the parents, as well as administering first aid. I also have experience in drafting and typing official letters and bulletins, as well as taking minutes.

I am used to working autonomously as well as being part of a bigger team. I am also able to deal with enquiries and complaints. I pride myself in being organised and punctual.

Thank you very much