What to do when your boss knows less than you do

[maggiethemagpie]

Basically, my boss seems less experienced and knowledgable than me and it's making my job difficult. I am picking up some of her work as she was made my boss a few months ago but I have now increased my hours so some of her workload is coming my way.

I just found out that she made quite a fundamental error in a case she dealt with, but I tried to challenge her on why she'd done it that way and not the usual way (that anyone with half a brain in my field would know how to do) and she couldn't accept that her way was wrong, it ended up in a semi-argument and I now feel really bad that she hates me for arguing with her. I sent her an email apologising if I had been argumentative and she sent me a very patronising reply which made me feel like I was back at school.

It is hard to stand by and say nothing when you know someone else is wrong though! (to check, I asked my colleague how she'd deal with it and she said the normal/right way not my bosses way which to be honest no one with any experience would have suggested)

Do you think she may feel threatened by me? I have around 14 years experience in my field and worked in a number of industries but due to the recession/starting a family had to take a step back in terms of the level I am working at. She on the other hand joined the company 8 years ago as her uncle was boss (!) worked her way up and has just got a promotion a few months ago to become my boss.

Basically do I just put up and shut up? How do you challenge/manage upwards?

I wouldn't apologise for being argumentative - if someone doesn't know what's going on, and you give them a chance to label you, that's what they will do. Next time you talk to her you could say something like "I'm such a perfectionist... I just take my work so seriously, I think it's really important to get every case right". You aren't argumentative anyway, you just had to argue to get the right thing done.

Do things right, not her way. When she tells you a wrong way to do it, could you say "well, when I was at xx we had a case like this and we did it this way" or similar?

The key thing is to help her benefit from your knowledge, without her feeling that you are patronising her, or without her getting annoyed (you can't control everything that she does or feels, so if she's a tricky character she might get annoyed anyway). But if she's a normal nice-ish person you could try and get to a friendly place with her so you can advise her - say it like you are both deciding together eg. "oh these ones, classic " or whatever, so you are telling her without making it clear to other people that you are telling her, iyswim.

I'm sure she is threatened if she doesn't know as much as you and hasn't been in the industry anything like as long as you have. It's about getting her to see you as a friendly face, someone who it benefits her to have around, not someone who she needs to be defensive with.

In an ideal world, you would have a situation where you have the technical expertise and she acknowledges that, but she is the one who does the management and is paid accordingly. I've been in that situation.

How to get there? You can't tell her how to think. All you can do is very publicly acknowledge her role as your manager. Be a good managee. Always refer things through her - never go above her head.

If/when you do have a technical disagreement, try to keep the discussions technical. If you can cite previous similar cases, do. If you can suggest asking a third party without it being confrontational, do that too. But only for things going forward - there's no point arguing over work that's already been done.

In the case you mention, it was her case that you challenged her about. What was your involvement? If you were asked to take on that case, you were right to ask her why she did something a particular way, but I think (even if she was your peer rather than your boss) it might have been better to bite your tongue when she became argumentative (unless it changes what you do next). You can express the fact that you would have done it differently without saying directly that she was wrong.

If she insists on doing it her way, then I think you need to put up with that, but if the opportunity arises let it be known that you disagree. If you think she is dismissive of your technical expertise, bring it up at your appraisal, without naming her - "I don't feel I have the freedom of action to really use my technical expertise".

Thank you both. The angle she is going for now, is that I'm not technically incorrect and the way I did it in my last job wasn't technically wrong, but that is not how they do it there.

Personally I think that's a cop out. We work according to best practice, there are certain ways of doing things.. a bit like, if you hired a chef and he wanted to use an egg to bake a cake, which most chefs would do, but you said no, we use bananas not eggs to make cakes - it is incorrect to use an egg! Even though it is much harder to bake a cake with a banana not an egg as an egg is kind of essential to the process (this is a really rubbish analogy but the best I can do on a Friday evening). Then now she is backtracking saying ok maybe it was ok to use the egg where you were previously but not here.

Today she sent me an email at five to five, saying her point of view, and that she wanted to talk about it, then switched off her phone so I have to wait til Monday. That's just petty. Anyway I replied saying along the lines of yes I'll do it your way, clearly you're not happy with my approach so when we speak i'll take your lead and you can explain what is best to do.

I can't be bothered to fight it/her anymore. I'm still technically in probation although nearly at the end of it and no problems so far.

I do think it was very petty of her to email me so late on a Friday though when she knows I will probably fret over the weekend.

I may just start keeping a lazy eye on the job market in case this does not work out!

I know that I don't work in your field but I am in a very similar position. My short answer is I had to bite my tongue a lot, especially at the beginning

Background
I have over 25 years' experience in my industry, most of them at senior/director level and have an in-depth understanding of all the processes (commercial manufacturing sector). I quit my high level post early summer 2013 to take a much needed time out and decided to rejoin the rat race 6 months ago. I didn't rejoin at the level I left but talked my way into a role where i had around 24 years more experience than the person I was to report to, frankly some of his ideas are ludicrous but as the bosses son it's not easy to tell him so. Early on I made the decision to let him be involved where he wanted to be, to put the problems/issues to him and to watch him come up with a solution. Sometimes it would take him an hour, to reach a conclusion/decision that I would have made almost instantaneously. There was not point in going to him with my solution he would reject it without consideration. We lost business and pissed people off but he thought he knew better.

I am guessing from your posts OP that this isn't an option for you as what you do actually effects people, not bottom line profits of a business, so I do think you have to take a more proactive approach, do you like the job?

On a plus side my situation has greatly improved over the last month, I've now taken control of my team, and he has gained the confidence in me, or has become bored so has stepped away. I still pander to his ego by consulting him on 'issues' from time-to-time. I am thanked daily for turning the department around by my peers especially the other department heads. And the boss (his Dad) ... he has seconded me to fix another department as long as I can still manage my own.

God that's depressing powdermum. Your situation sounds a lot worse than mine! I have accepted the fact that I have to just suck it up, bite that tongue and basically say yes sir no sir three bags full. Just like the nursery rhyme.

I am going to start being very selective with what I tell my boss too, we don't work in the same location so there's scope for a lot of things to not reach her radar, although I won't actually withhold info from her if I think she will find out. If she doesn't know about it she can't argue with me!

Just annoys me that I was trying to do my job today, and got a load of hassle for it. She's not interested any more in the best solution for the end-user, she just wants to protect herself from the threat that I know more/ assert her authority.

Shame as we were getting on ok before this, she used to be on the same level as me and we were pals but I guess there's no such thing as really being pals with the boss, is there.

When she chats to me on Monday I'm just going to let her say her spiel and not even give a viewpoint myself. Literally just agree with her and say nothing more than 'yes' 'ok' without actually sounding sarcastic.

I kind of feel like things are a little broken now between me and her..... not sure how to build the relationship back up again or if it will be the same again which is making me feel a little sad but hey guess the honeymoon had to end at some point.