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Original poster

Another childminder v nursery question!

12 replies

LesleyJ · 06/04/2004 09:15

Hello everyone, this is my first ever message.
I have a 15 month old boy who has been with his childminder 3 days a week since he was 5 months. She is great and he is very happy there. However, I find myself struggling to cope with her holidays / sickness etc. There is a very good nursery in the area which I have visited and which I know friends' children attend and enjoy. The nursery would, without question, be easier for me. It would also provide him with more activities, especially out of doors, and more social contact. He is a sociable child and loves company. However I am very worried about breaking up a relationship that he has with the childminder. I just can't decide what would be best for him. Any similar experiences? Any suggestions would be most appreciated.

OP posts:
MeanBean · 06/04/2004 12:12

Hi LesleyJ
I'd go by your child's needs and personality. Although he has a good relationship with his childminder, it is a temporary one, and it's not going to do him any harm if it's ended now rather than in a year's time. If you think he'd be happy at nursery and it would benefit him, and if it would make our life easier, then go for it - it'll make your life better, and possibly his!
Good luck

150percent · 06/04/2004 12:41

Hello, and welcome!
You're obviously tempted by the nursery as you've managed to visit it. Whilst it is great that his relationship with his childminder is good, as meanbean has said, it is temporary, and in reality you never know when she might want to do something else -simply a fact of life when relying on one person for care.

There are many pros and cons of using childminders vs nurseries. On the subject of sickness you shuld consider that your ds is most likely to pick up new bugs etc once he starts at the nursery so you may have a couple of months where you're having to look after him because the nursery won't take him!

Again as meanbean says you need to look at your own child and where they thrive. If he is doing well where he is, and is happy and settled, then I personally wouldn't rock the boat. Things like sleep and food can be dealt with more easily at a c/minder or by a nanny. But I should say that I'm biased: I would personally go for nanny-care where possible as I prefer mine to be at home. That said, whilst I'm on a break from work my 2 are about to sample nursery for one day a week - I need some space. But I know the younger one is going to find sleeping etc hard there.

Sorry - I'm not being that helpful really - it just isn't a straightforward decision!

Original poster
LesleyJ · 06/04/2004 13:38

Thank you botth for your views - it is a difficult one. My instinct is that he would thrive at nursery, but I also have a big aprt of me saying exactly that - don't rock the boat. A bit more thought required I guess. Thanks again

OP posts:
FairyMum · 06/04/2004 13:45

I am biased towards nursery, but just wanted to comment on the sickness-thing. I have found that my children have picked up so many bugs form nursery that we have struggled to cope sometimes. So you might just switch from one struggle to another. Not sure if I would rock the boat either, but good luck with whatever you decide!!

elliott · 06/04/2004 13:49

my experience is that nursery tends to have increasing positive benefits as they get older and can get something out of both the activities and the relationships with the other kids. Ds1 has been at nursery from 6 months and although he has always enjoyed it, I think it is only in the last several months (he's now 28 months) that I really feel there are advantages for him over being with a childminder. I've also found that his ability to sleep at nursery has improved as he's got older (he's always slept better at home but now there's not so much difference).
In your shoes I'd probably plan the transition now for either when he turns 2 or 2.5.

Tinker · 06/04/2004 15:52

Lesleyj- I only have experience of a childminder up to age 3 but would add that the advantages of a childminder are that they are more flexible with your child's sickness and your leave. Although their sick leave/holidays can be a pain, there are advantages the other way as well.

Original poster
LesleyJ · 06/04/2004 15:57

This has really helped. Given the various pros and cons it seems sensible to probably leave him where he is for now. The fact that I am unsure whether to make the change probably means that there are enough doubts. I'll hopefully have less doubts about it when the time is right!
Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
twiglett · 06/04/2004 15:58

message withdrawn

hatter · 06/04/2004 21:37

Hi,

have you thought about combining both? A friend of mine did it with hers - she went to a childminder from about 4 months til about 20 months, then switched to 2 days nursery and 2 days childminder. She felt that she got the social and educational benefits of nursery and the benfits of a good one-to-one relationship and home environment with the child-minder. I know some kids might find such an arrangement disruptive and difficult but I do know it worked for her.

Moomin · 08/04/2004 09:41

Hello LesleyJ. At the moment I'm working 3 days a weeks and dd goes to a childminder for one day and a nursery for the other 2 days. We didn't exactly plan it like this but it's worked out very well. She's been with the childminder from 12 months and she started nursery a weeks before her 2nd birthday (she's 2yrs 7m now). She loves the attention she gets from our childminder (who is extremely professional and is excellent IMO) but also loves the social interaction and structure of nursery, which I think has been especially useful since she turned 2.

All I can advise is that you visit the nursery, make sure it's as good as your friends say it is, and maybe arrange a half-day trial for him. If your childminder is becoming unreliable in any way then it's your little boy that's going to have to put up with the consequences. I don't mean to sound harsh as I'm sure she's lovely, but maybe now he's a bit older he'll really enjoy everything nursery has to offer and it'll prepare him more for the lead-up to school. Kids are more resilient than you might think and I'm sure he'll adjust to the transition very well. After all, change is part of life and something that will happen many times in the future for him.
Good luck whatever you decide.X

hovely · 12/04/2004 16:58

won't you get some local authority funded sessions when he turns 3? My dd is not that old yet, so I'm not up to speed on it, but I was told that loads of parents try to get into nurseries when their children hit 3 for the funded sessions. You don't get it for childminders unless they are OFSTED registered.

hovely · 12/04/2004 17:00

sorry, posted too soon, I meant to say it might be harder when he is older to get a place.

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