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Original poster

Breastfeeding and asked to go to abroad for 3 days

14 replies

avera · 14/09/2006 11:19

I am currently on maternity leave. My daughter is 8 weeks old, and I wasn't planning to return to work until mid to late November.
Have just discovered that my boss wants me to speak at a conference on Nov. 13-14 that we're organizing in New York (I live in London).
This would mean 3 days aways from baby. My boss hasn't even discussed this with me, and I haven't confirmed my day of return to work.
But I'm in a quandary, since it is a high profile event - flat refusal wouldn't be viewed favourably.
Options are to pump and dump (which I did fairly successfully with my son - but he was 6 months old when I went away), or to find some way to take baby.
Do you think it reasonable to get my employer to pay for childcare in New York and I bring baby with me?

OP posts:

sorrell · 14/09/2006 11:20

Could you all go as a family? Get the company to pay for an apartment?

Quootiepie · 14/09/2006 11:21

Id make him pay for bringing the baby - you shouldnt have to shuffle your life around work when your on Mat leave!

Original poster

avera · 14/09/2006 11:24

Does anyone know what the law says about this? Isn't there supposed to be enhanced support for breastfeeding mothers? Very irritated that my first day back at work could be thousands of miles from baby - really inconsiderate.

OP posts:

hewlettsdaughter · 14/09/2006 11:24

Wow! (does your boss have children? is your boss male/female?)

If you are willing to go (and you shouldn't feel pressured), is there anyone you could take with you to look after your dd while you're speaking? You could ask your employer to pay for their fare.

Original poster

avera · 14/09/2006 11:26

The boss is a male with three children. But as you can guess, a complete d*khead.

OP posts:

fennel · 14/09/2006 11:34

I took my 2 month old to Slovenia on a work meeting, while I was officially on maternity leave. It was my choice really, and work did offer to pay childcare but in the end I took DP and he paid his flight (cheap) and work payed his expenses.

i think if you are in a high earning high profile job then you just have to go with their demands if you are officially back at work and it's a normal work expectation, or if it's not that sort of job you probably have the right to refuse to go.

I have to say 5 days at an Alpine lake resort in Slovenia with work was the most relaxing part of my maternity leave, 20 stressy work colleagues was easier than my 3 under 5s at home.....it was like a holiday.

hewlettsdaughter · 14/09/2006 11:34

hmmmm, I didn't want to presume, but now you mention it (can't believe you found out from someone else!)

fennel · 14/09/2006 11:35

ps i am not in a high profile high earning job, just in case my last post gave that impression. but I was managing a project and didn't want to lose all connection with it while on leave.

oliveoil · 14/09/2006 11:39

er, well if you haven't confirmed your return date, could your return date be in January?

"oh well, I would have loved to have gone to NY but I was still on Maternity Leave" or something along those lines.

I personally would not leave my baby for 3 days.

I would take them with me however if I had to.

foundintranslation · 14/09/2006 11:44

I wouldn't go without the baby. Either they pay for you to take the baby with you or you don't go.

I took a group of students on an excursion for a week when ds was 5 months and fully bf. I was back at work but could have backed out of doing the excursion, but then nobody else would have taken over and I didn't want to let the students down. I took dh with me to look after ds when I really couldn't have him along (some visits/meetings), otherwise he was in the sling. It was exhausting and there was NO financial support and very little appreciation for it from work. I'm ot sure I'd do it again tbh.

Original poster

avera · 14/09/2006 11:56

Appreciate all your comments. I think I will negotiate for work to pay for childcare in NYC. I can't delay return to work. Employer offers statutory maternity and I need to go back in November or the mortgage won't get paid!

OP posts:

KathyMCMLXXII · 14/09/2006 12:13

But Avera, make sure they know that in going at all you are doing them a favour because you are so incredibly committed to your job.

missseagull · 15/09/2006 14:21

The law is very simple on this - H&S law requires that employers make it possible for breast feeding to continue and would normally expect that you are able to express and have appropriate space to store milk aka a fridge that is probably not shared with a variety of lunch bags and milk for coffee etc! If you are happy to take baby with you and work agree to pay great, but sounds like you may need to get things straight for the office when you get back as well!

Judy1234 · 17/09/2006 16:20

Or take the baby (flight won't cost anything I think if it's on your lap) and presumably the hotel room is the same price if a baby is in it and hire a local girl to look after it during the day at US minimum wage per hour which I wouold have thought would not be that expensive and might be worth doing just to keep work happy. I was able to avoid work trips away when I was back at work but breastfeeding but that was more luck/chance than any other reason I suppsoee.

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