its my last day working today... at work now. since having dd last march i returned to work last sep for two days a week. my part time salary was very good so i cant see getting it anywhere else, i cant take a pay cut as i woul dnot be able to pay childcare and i cant not work as i need to pay my debts! yikes!!!!!!!!!!
i dont care what i do - i am willing to do anything for 2 - 3 days a week as long as i earn £80 per day. as soon as i found out i was being made redundant (company closing) i signed up with a few recruitment agencies as most said they could not offer part time work. i handed out 20 cv's to all and any offices around my local area (thinking about travel costs, travel 90 mins at the moment)applied for 5 jobs... so i am trying but i am so scared that i will still be looking in 2 months... i cant go one month without money coming in.
i work in the music industry right now and have 5 years experience of working with people with disabilities so i am flexible with what i can do. i hate not knowing what i will be doing in 2 - 3 months! sometimes it feels like we would be better off if my dh was made redundant too then we would have to be housed -at least that part would be sorted. life seems like a never ending struggle. moan, moan. I know i shouldnt moan as i have a beautiful dd and dh and we are all healthy. but all of our friends just seem to have so much more, cars, holidays, own their house. we have none of that - i know they dont struggle! i kick myself and think why did you study that stupid course at college, i should have learned a trade or tried harder at a better qualification. i have never been materialistic and always lived for the moment so i have no savings and i didnt strive to earn money when i was younger... i hate talking about money, i dont want lots of it, i just dont want to be without it! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I might sell myself.... actually, i'll have to do my pelvic floors first!