Asking potential new employer to honour paternity leave at interview.

[Fedupofplaystation]

DH has an interview for a new job tomorrow that he'd really love to get.

I am 20 weeks pregnant - due in November.

I know that DH would have no entitlement to paternity leave if he changed jobs at this stage, but we were wondering if it would be reasonable to request the new employer would honour his paternity leave.

If so, would the end of the interview be the best time to mention it? Or would it be better to ask if the job is offered to him?

If so, how should he broach it?

We would hate mentioning it to harm his chances of getting the job.

Not at interview - only if offered the job.

I'd wait till after the job's been offered. in fact I'd probably wait till it's been offered, accepted, and he's been working there for a couple of weeks (ie once he's proved himself). then ask his manager.

of course this approach means there is no chance for your DH to decline the job if he gets refused - but sounds like your DH would want the job even without the paternity leave?

I would say once he's been offered the job formally and got a start date etc. I wouldn't discuss this with a potential candidate at interview as you are potentially interviewing many people for the job and you want to stick to the interview type conversations as much as you can. I would give him the paternity leave once he'd been successful though, I'm a nice boss!! Good luck to your dh. And to you with baby!

Thank you for the replies so far.

So that's 3 votes for waiting for a job offer before mentioning it and one vote for mentioning at interview.

DH is very honest (which can actually be problematic at times) and thinks it would be underhand to spring it on them after a job offer has been made. However, he would be gutted if mentioning it meant he didn't get the job.

I will be having a c-section so would really like him to be at home for two weeks after the birth. Paid if possible, but unpaid would be manageable just.

Mention at offer stage - once they've decided that the want him, that's the time to mention any points (start date, pre-booked holiday, paternity leave) which will affect whether he wants to accept.

I'd mention it once I was offered the job. Is there any chance he could use it as a point of negotiation once offered the job? Lots of people do this re. salary so he could just say, I'd love to accept the role but in addition to the package you've offered I'd like confirmation of 2 weeks paid paternity leave as my wife will be having a c-section.

Offer stage I would say

Can he take annual leave if they say no? I can imagine getting it unpaid but paid im not so sure.

DH thinks it would be underhand to spring it on them after a job offer has been made

As it's not something he's entitled to at all, it wouldn't be springing it on them. He'd simply be making a request. I would suggest he asks either for unpaid leave, or to take annual leave, or a combination of the two.

Thank you for the the advice.

I think he will not mention it at interview tomorrow unless it somehow comes up, which I doubt it will.

I'll just cross my fingers for him to get the job (and hope it turns out to be a good fit) for now and worry about paternity leave later.

Thanks again.

My DH was in a similar position (I was having C/S with DC3 and we were also re-locating away from support) - he asked and they said no.

But it worked fine in the end - he took a couple of days unpaid, a couple of days annual leave, then my mum came to help out for a couple of weeks and after that DH took another week's annual leave. It was a horrible thought that he wasn't going to have his paternity leave but it was actually fine and both of us made the call that the job and our overall long-term benefits from it outweighed the 2 weeks - and that was definitely the right decision

I agree that interview stage is not the best time to mention it - at point of being offered job (when you would normally mention holidays) - and potentially even ask for it as annual leave rather than any expectation that it would be paternity. You both need to decide whether the leave or job is more important and take it from there.

Yes wait until after the interview and then ask if they would consider it/what the options would be for him (e.g. Unpaid leave, holiday)

I reckon most employers would be fine with it. Even though we would struggle I would rather my husband took unpaid parental/compassionate leave than turn down the perfect job.

Once you've been offered the job, they've already decided they want you, so that puts you in a stronger position. Ask then - but think about what you'd do if they say no.

Good luck to him!

Definitely wait until they give him an offer. This is the point where you negotiate - salary, benefits, etc. So also request for paid parental leave. Good luck!

So, DH says interview went very well. We're hoping this is a good sign.

How do you think it would be best to broach it if offered the job? Should he ask for paternity leave (on the chance that they give it to him paid) or say we're having a baby, could he take unpaid?

If they'd offered, could they then take back the offer if he asks this?

I wouldn't over think it too much. Assuming it's 2 weeks (and not APL), it's hardly a big deal. I recruit a lot and I can't remember the last one I recruited who didn't have2 weeks in Lanzarote booked within the first 3 months. It amounts to the same thing.

If it's the right candidate, you work around it. They are not easy to find...

(I wouldn't expect it to be paid tho. Annual leave or unpaid).

November is ages off. Let him get the job, get into the setup and see how the land lies in a couple of months. Separate the pregnancy from the job.

I would really stop agitating about it. I can understand why, with a planned section, but chances are high he will be able to take leave of some sort. Let him get the job, accept the offer & then mention it. Not before.