new job or start trying for baby?!

[tots123]

Hi mumsnet! I'm nearly 33 yo career girl and was planning to start trying to have a baby. My current job is pretty good - there's great mat leave, they'd be supportive about part time work after I come back etc. One of the main reasons I took the job is the benefits for mums. However I have just been offered my DREAM job with opportunity to travel. It would be a short term minor drop in salary buta long term career game changer. It's a very young edgy silicon valley company and I would enjoy it a hundred times more than my current job which although benefits are good the people are awful. But mat pay is rubbish and I'd feel like I'd have to wait at least a year until getting pregnant or I'd feel guilty for taking the job! It's not fair our careers have to suffer hey ladies! What would you do?

Can your partner get flexible working?

If you are UK based, does the us company understand uk law round maternity and flexible working?

You're asking on Mumsnet so you may get a pretty skewed response. But I'd crack on with the baby.

One look at the conception board and you will see the heartbreak of people struggling to concieve.

The first thing that I think that I learned about having children is that you relinquish control over a lot if things. It's not a case like other things in your life that you can just decide to do it and it's done. And your fertility will fall off a cliff soon.

Picture yourself in 20 years time. Do you see yourself chatting to your kids and also having a career? Or no kids and another kind of career? I'm
Not saying these are your only choices, but you will kick yourself if you lose your chance.

Sorry to be a doom monger.

"And your fertility will fall off a cliff soon."

This may not be true. Many of the fertility studies are based on women along time ago.

Nonetheless, fertility and the age you want to be ideally when kids are born is a factor.

I was in your shoes, and decided to stay put and try for a baby. With hindsight it was definitely the right decision for us - my priorities completely changed after DC and my career is not nearly so important to me at the moment.

Is a similar opportunity likely to arise in a few years after DC or is this a once in a career chance?

At 33 I would put babies first. If you are thinking of trying in a year anyway that's quite clear to me you really want a family. I would stick to the family friendly firm unless you choose to prioritise your career and risk no children.

Do both.

You don't know when you will actually get pregnant. You are right that it isn't fair for you to sacrifice one for the other so don't start doing it until the pregnancy is a reality.

It is a fact that it is harder to get pregnant the older you are.

And there is an increased risk of miscarriage, and medical issues for both the mother and baby.

OP you need to do your homework.

Looking to the future, would you be able combine this new job with having young children if it involves lots of travel? Is your DH's job sufficiently flexible to allow this?

And if his job isn't flexible, will he change to a job which is?

One thing to remember - you don't get just one "good chance" - if you were offered this job, there are other opportunities in the future.

I would take the job.

You don't know how long it's going to take you to get pregnant, and once you are pregnant you'll have 9 months til you actually have the baby!

I think if you have a good career, it's a bad idea to structure your life around mat benefits - once your kids are here you'll want a job you love otherwise going back to work will seem pretty pointless which is not good long term.

I did this, except I jumped to the new job. Massive mistake for me as I luckily got pregnant very quickly, but had to give up the exciting new job. I couldn't fly, and the stress was too much, so I left with no maternity provision.

If I had stayed at my old job I would have had ace maternity pay and be welcomed back with opened arms.

Still I have two amazing DCs. And I don't regret my choices even for a split second. Am about to embark in a new career.

Hello Thanks folks! Well to clarify a bit more DH has loads of flexibility as he owns his company and would do his fair share. The job is a once INA lifetime thing - yeah sure I could probably find something similar but I think it would be tough. I'm thinking bird in the hand.... Maybe I will just take it and then start trying anyway. I definitely do not want to end up on the Conception board poor ladies

Ok

Would your DH do more than his fair share, if by fair you mean 50%?