HR Senior person making comments in an open forum that I keep taking mat leave!

[ThreeBecameFour]

Without giving too much away to out me..I recently returned to work after 2nd mat leave. I have been with the company 5 years and have only taken 9 months mat leave per child. I was in an HR related meeting about updates to policies with other members of the organisation including new starters and the deputy head of HR came making references to me e.g. 'she keeps going off any having babies' said in various forms all the way through the meeting. Not only was it embarassing, but it was not necessary and other members of other teams were there to witness it. I am being unreasonable to think this is discrimination of sorts? I couldn't actually believe it when it was happening and I even joked back about having 10 kids but actually only having 2. I am now really angry that the person even thought that this was acceptable behaviour considering they are part of HR senior management at the company! I was thinking of having a word on Monday or sending an email to say I was offended that my status as a mother needed to be brought up and it did nothing to bring into context what we were actually discussing! Any thoughts or advice?

Sending an email expressing your disappointment wouldn't hurt.

Definitely an email - and I would expect an apology back from the individual. Then keep a record of the email in case anything comes up later, as previous examples of discriminatory behaviour, particularly when they have been complained about will strengthen a complaint. Have you any reason to believe this individual treats women or working parents negatively generally? It could be no malice was intended, but in discrimination it is about how you as an individual felt. It is important that you make it clear you weren't happy, despite you attempting to go along with it in the meeting because you were so embarrassed and wanted to make the situation feel better in any way you could. Hope you get the apology you deserve and that this is a one off.

No I don't belong to a union.

The person in question has made similar comments to others from what I can tell...

If you think comments have been made to others, even more reason to get what happened logged now. Also important to do it while others in the room can remember what was said. Could you speak to the Head of HR? Do you want to make a formal complaint or grievance? You could attempt to resolve it directly with the deputy head initially, but if your email is ignored or not responded to with an apology, you could then speak to their manager. Someone in an HR role should be role modelling this sort of thing, not making others think it is ok. You could give a get out in your email if you want to along lines of 'I'm sure you don't realise how your comments could be interpreted or how upsetting they could be', which might not be what you think but gives an option for your message to get through in a less obvious way, but all depends what route and outcome you want really. Could you speak to your manager to get some support with tackling this?

I sent the email. I got an apology. I spoke to my line manager who thought maybe I was being over sensitive (she is also a mother) but agrred I should send an email. I feel a bit like I am now making a fuss about nothing. But I know I am not. It is not acceptable behaviour especially from HR! So why do I feel like they are making me feel bad now!?

Good for you Op.

It'll blow over, don't worry. Don't feel they are making you feel bad. They're probably embarrassed at being pulled up on something so obvious!

Just be calm and get on with your work. And really good for you. That person will think twice before treating you unfairly again.