Decided not to go back to work and worrying is this the right decision

[monkeytree]

I hoping for some points of view as over the past few days I have come to the conclusion that I may not be returning to work after maternity leave but not sure how I will adapt to being a full time SAHM. I know that I am fortunate to have the choice as dh has good income but this is about me.

Previously before dc2 came along I worked dream hours 13.5 hours a week, term time only which meant I was always there for dc1, hols, after school etc. Unfortunately new management have dictated that due to business need (which is unfortunately probably legitimate) my term time working will be eradicated and I must work a minimum of 18.5 hours per week. The massive change is the eradication of term time only working and with virtually no family back up this is going to end up in a juggling act arranging childcare. It has also coincided with dc2 coming along and means double childcare costs. At the end of the day I would not be gaining financially either.

I used to enjoy my job but I think it was because of the short working hours and getting long breaks with the school hols as the job can be quite demanding at times. It appears management are implementing changes which will affect the way I work too and not in a good way.

I'm feeling quite low as I know I will miss the mental stimulation and adult company and cant believe one woman (who does not have children) can come along and change my life so much but without the term time working it does not seem that my job is worth fighting for. After discussions with dh we decided that it would be easier for me to stay at home while dc2 is so young. To be honest I would find handing dc2 over to nursery really hard as she is my miracle child (previously was able to take a career break with dc1 - also no longer available). Really worried I'm not going to find a job in a few years time and don't know what job I would like to do other than current job, don't have bags of confidence either. Thinking about possible voluntary work/college course but feel despondent. I guess I really enjoy having a routine and having to go somewhere for a reason.

Sorry for long ramble and thanks if you have read this far. Anyone found themselves in a similar position?

I've reluctantly decided to sah for a while post dc2 and also feel despondent about it for many reasons. I've resolved to retrain (old career is long hours and requires travel etc), it's the only way to ensure options when they're not so small that I can see...

Why not stick at the job for now using some childcare and then look for something that suits better whilst still at work?

I would retrain once dc2 is at school. It is spiteful of childless managers to change hours like that especially when things have been working ok anyway.
We have no family help and I have had 10 years of juggling childcare for 2. Both of us work weekends too. My biggest regret is that I did not quit to stay at home with my little ones. I could have easily retrained. I am now looking into retraining alongside my part time job.