Starting a family - worried about working as a solicitor

[Emslifechoices]

Hi all,

I've always wanted kids and DH and I have decided that we want to start a family soon. We need to decide where we want to live before we start trying as currently live in a one bedroom flat in London (no space for a little one here!). We're trying to choose where to move to and we're considering moving near to my work (in SW London) so I can go back to work. BUT I'm working as a solicitor and I'm not convinced I'm going to want to go back to it after I have a baby (I'm not crazy about it - not sure it's me). People at my firm do work part-time (3 days a week) but I think I'll want to be a SAHM (although obvs don't know yet).

Are there any other solicitors who have changed jobs? What have you changed to? Think I'd only want to be part time / flexible. Any help appreciated!

Hello! I am a pregnant solicitor and I work in house. Planning to go back full time but I love my job.

It sounds from your post like you don't like what you do to be honest. I would say that you should try to changes jobs so that you do enjoy your career rather than wrapping that up in starting a family.

I think you're right to change now, if you don't like it now you'll probably hate it when its keeping you from your baby or you're late home because you had to sent that email / get that disclosure out or whatever it is. I think its one of the most difficult careers to juggle with children due to the unpredictability of most specialisms and the repercussions of making a mistake / just being late doing something. I have several friends / now know Mums at school that used to be lawyers - variety of things; lecturer, property management (from a landlord / tenant background), regulatory work, in house work for the BMA, Ofsted inspector, own business selling children's clothes.

I'm pregnant with my first and am in-house. I'm sole counsel so I have quite a bit of flexibility and autonomy in terms of managing my work load, but the flip-side is there's just me, so no one to help out during busy times. I'm planning on returning full time after mat leave but hopefully do 1 day from home (with nanny or my mum on childcare). In-house isn't the easy option - you don't have the resources of a firm and it can be very busy/stressful - but I think the hours are more manageable/predictable. Generally you can be home at a normal time (I'm usually home by 6) and you're not at the beck and call of crazy clients, doing all nighters or weekends or what have you.

To be honest, the early years are the easiest - yes its a transition when you are tired, don't really want to leave a baby, but it is the school years that I (and the majority of our friends) have found difficult. When you can send them to nursery 8-6 (not that you'd necessarily want to) its not too difficult to manage that with the working day (she says with the benefit of hindsight), but when you're limited to a school day of 9-3pm, then the whole logistics of breakfast club / after school care, trying to be available for all the school things etc its just crazy. When all their friends are going to Rainbows / Cubs etc but your child can't because it starts at 5.30 and you can't collect from the after school club till 6pm or whatever it is. Law firms are notoriously bad even if those that promise a work life balance.

I used to be a solicitor but was made redundant when DC1 was 6 months old. I did look for new roles then but it was at the height of the recession and my area was really badly hit so there was next to nothing around and, if I'm honest, I was secretly a bit relieved as I'd been worrying about going back, although I should have been able to do 4 days.

I would have given it another shot, but 5 years later I'm actually really glad I got made redundant. I've been a SAHM since and yes, there have been times I feel like I've wasted all that training and we have a lot less money. But, in my case DH's job has really taken off since I haven't been working and I wouldn't want to go back into that sort of environment again with us both working in long hour, pressurised roles. I don't miss the stress at all! I do miss the intellectual stimulation, but I've tried really hard to keep up with other interests. And, while I have wobbles about what I want to do, I know that ultimately I still have the same brain and with a bit of determination will be ok.

I think what made my mind up ultimately was chatting with a friend who left law a few years ago and we both said it had taken a bit of time out to realise that we couldn't see ourselves in 5 years time as partner or whatever. My friend's husband is a lawyer and you can just tell that he loves what he does, even the pressure, and I realised that that just wasn't me and if I was honest while bits of the job were very me, a lot of it wasn't and the bits that I didn't like were only going to get worse!

Thanks for all your responses. Everyone seems to agree that finding something else is the way to go. I work in commercial property (and not in a City firm) so the hours aren't crazy and fairly consistent at 9-6.30pm (sometimes later). BUT as lots of you have said, I definitely don't love it AND coping with primary school drop-offs/collections in the future isn't going to be easy on 9-6.30pm (and that's before you factor in the commute).

My other thought is to look for a position in a local firm (and move out of London (where we'll save on house prices)). Slight problem here is that DH isn't keen on commuting but I need to work on him! My main concern is that I'd be bored in a "local" firm and would find the work boring. Ideally I'd love to run my own business but haven't managed to do come up with an ingenious business idea yet!!

My main concern is moving our home to be nearer my work when it's not the centre of my world. Would I be more sensible to move nearer to my parents / where friends are etc.? DH and I both want to live somewhere with a community feel (nothing too small though).

Splendide - I was thinking of in-house but I'm not sure that there are many options for Commercial Property in-house. What do you think?

I think you'd be surprised at the quality of work some of the regional big-hitters get. I think there is a tendency to thing the legal world starts and end in London, that may have been the case a decade or so ago, but its definitely not the case now. As for being bored in a regional firm, well I think you'd be ask to leave before you got chance if that was your approach !!

Mandy214, I agree - in fact a number of reputable firms are opening offices in the regions because of cost factors. although salaries will be lower, house prices/living expenses are likely to be lower too.

Also, commercial property thankfully is finally resurrecting, so opportunities should be greater.