return to work and mat cover power struggle

[ThreeBecameFour]

Inevitably my mat cover is reluctant to give up some of her role though she is technically stepping down as my mat cover for the 2nd time. I officially return to work next Monday but have been getting emails and work to do in the run up. My cover is pushing for part of my role, she has technically been promoted to a deputy manager role and is now my no 2. Tensions are high on both sides as I want to get back into leading my team and she wants my role! I can understand her wanting to function at the same level, but she knew she was stepping up for me and it would end on my return. How would you gently but firmly let her know what her parameters are? She seems not have no boundaries or understanding even though I have repeatedly tried to let her know. I don't want to start things on the wrong foot as it will set the wrong tone when I need her on my side..

I think part of being a good manager is to ensure team members have professional development opportunities, so I would not use this as an opportunity to 'squash' her.

Separate your own feelings of insecurity on returning from ML (a certain amount is inevitable!) and arrange a meeting with her to define her new role. Give her some of your tasks. Ask her where she wants to be in 2/5/10 years and, as her manager, support her to achieve that. Somewhere else

Reinforce your role as leading the team by fostering ambition within it, not squashing it.

I think this is one where you need to tackle it straight from the get-go. No gentle easing in, tackle it head-on to get the message straight 'I am back, this is my job, thank you for your good work during the cover period'.

As she has covered for you twice, I can see her point of view that she is clearly capable of doing the role, and presumably this is why she has now been promoted to deputy. I would be tempted to lead off with the fact you recognise she has done a good job and you want to make sure that you support her in finding a role on the same level as yours (are there any in the firm?) so how can she support you in returning to lead the team (the team must be clear about who's in charge) whilst in return how can you support her. Both in returning to her old role, which comes with its own challenges, and then in shaping the role of deputy, which gives her a certain amount of additional authority. Did you have a deputy before?

That's the touchy-feely part of it but you also need to cover your own arse. You aren't friends and there is a conflict to manage. All conversations followed up by email. Make sure your boss knows the score and backs you to the hilt - for preference have the boss come and do a little speech welcoming you back (making clear you lead the team again) and thanking the deputy for her service.

As she appears not to understand the problem, don't try and beat around the bush. Be completely direct and firm. It would be wise to have something to concede (given she isn't returning to her old role from before the mat cover) but she has to know who's in charge. The best move for all is to move her out of the team into a promotion if she's done a good job - two maternity covers in a row is not a great morale-booster for her without any permanent recognition.

If she's been made your deputy was she issued with a formal job descriptions? If not could you work with hr to get one drawn up that makes clear distinctions between your role and hers?

You could also have a returning to work 1-2-1 with her discussing what she enjoyed about your role and how she performed (so a nice positive conversation) and use the opportunity to discuss her feelings and expectations about her new role. Might be a good opportunity to set parameters.

I can sympathise though. I've just gone back to work and my replacement is reluctant to give up her responsibility. She didn't actually get the job but my original replacement left so she's been doing it the last few months. I think she was pretty pissed off at not getting it originally too so she's reluctant to let it go. On top if that we're creating a senior role for her so she can cover me one day a week, as I've returned 4 days a week. I've only been back 3 days but am really having to assert myself. I think I'm going to have to put her back in her box a little while still encouraging her in her senior role. It's just a matter of being very clear in my expectations of what her role is.

Thank you everyone!

There are no opportunities for her to 'grow' or move up in another team or in the organisation. This is actually the case for me too. Only option is to move elsewhere. She has threatened to leave a number of times over the years to get what she wants, but doesn't actually ever leave. She has been with the company for 7 years. In fact, back story, she originally went for my job internally when I interviewed for it (I was new to the org when I joined) and she didn't get it - which was 5 years ago. It took a LOT of effort on my part to get us to work together well and in a civil manner as she was bitterly disappointed and resentful and took it out on me. So the stepping up has been the only opportunity she has and I encouraged it. I have given her part of my role, and worked with HR to shape her new role. She has areas she is responsible for and in fact ought to lie with me.

I don't know what else I can do to keep the peace on all sides. I do think I have been v accommodating and flexible. But one of the things that was said to me after the first mat leave was senior management couldn't work out who was managing the team - her or me. This time I'll be making it clear who is managing what. I am the manager though and ultimately the buck will stop with me and she is the deputy. It isn't a mirroring role... other than the one day a week when she steps into my shoes when I don't work as I will be doing a 4 day week. I can totally understand her frustration and need to progress. One of the issues is that she is highly emotional and takes things very personally. I really value her and her contribution to the team but also don't want to let her walk all over me.

If you have any more practical tips I would be hugely grateful!

I think it is hugely confusing that she does your role one day a week. Is it absolutely necessary to have that de-markation, could your job not be left for one day?

WipsGlitter I think any deputy would cover for a manager on any day they're not there. I'm a team leader and cover for my manager when he's off.

I think just doing practical things like attending meetings but letting her know she doesn't need to go too, and if she tried to do something just say to her 'oh since I'm back I'll do that now' kind of thing and just be consistent.

How's it going?

I have been back in my role a few days. There is tension but it is early days. I have been updating our objectives for the year and recruiting for a post in my team so have been really busy. I think it is early days so I'll update in a few weeks. To be very honest I think I need to find a new job.. but time will tell...