Working mummies

[MummyNellie123]

Hi anyone here feel working mummies have a lack of support ? There is always this air of judgement around mothers who work, I have come across articles which say that children of working mothers fair less well than children with SAHM but I tried staying at home and it didn't work for me. I guess I feel more empowered at work, and less stressed, than at home...and selfishly, I prefer working to looking after my children- I am an dentist (I have been working as a dentist since I was 24, had my first DS at 26 and then the twins at 28, which was last year).

I think that's the underlying truth of it, but I love my job, I love going into the office every day but I am glad I had my children.....

I am battling with guilt all the time......when I am at work I feel bad that I am not with them, and when I am at home I long to be working.

My mother was an accountant and she worked all the time, she worked full time since my brother and me were 3 months, our grandmother and a succession of nannies and day care brought us up.

But I love her, we are very close and wouldn't change her for anything....I justify that if my children loved me as much as I love my mum then maybe....it has all been worth it

anyone else have working mum guilt?

I honestly think it's a case of 'can't win' no matter what you do there will be people who critisise so best doing what's best for you and your family.

If your a SAHM or SAHD people critisise

If you work full or part time for whatever reason people critisise.

I truly believe some people aren't cut out to stay at home (I'm one of them - adore my little boy but looking forward to using my brain again) and everyone is happier if the person works.

My parents both worked full time and I have a degree and postgraduate degree plus a good job so I did fine my siblings have also done well.

I have worked full time, part time and sah and now many years on there is no difference between the children who were in nursery or with mecor a nanny.

I did find it exhausting working full time when they woke up a lot at night... Don't feel guilty. You will work flexibility so you can be there when it matters... Don't let the judgy brigade make you feel guilty, some people are just jealous or enjoy criticizing others for their own gratification.

Congratulations on your twins mummy! Have you recently gone back to work since having them.

I am off work at the moment as struggling with the very early stages of a second pregnancy (I have difficult pregnancies). Goodness I HATE being off work! I love my job and enjoy being a parent so much more when I am working as well. DS is 18 months and I went back at about four months with him. A few months ago I read a really encouraging book called "The Compleat Woman" - it's old, from the 80s - but a series of interviews with women who had combined a career with large families, I found it really reassuring and it is striking how much more relaxed people were about a lot of issues back then.

The secret truth that many parents don't want to admit is that looking after babies/young children can be tedious, repetitive and dull. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to do it 24/7.

If you're happy that your childcare arrangements are suitable and your children are in good hands, then there really is no need to feel guilty.

I don't worry about dd now, I do however worry about how I'll meet her needs when she's older. Teenagers need a parent whereas toddlers need a carer.