Lied about mc at work, I might have been caught :(

[Wantohope]

Hi,

Sorry for the long post, I thought I should try and give a bit of background to my question.

I have recently had a missed miscarriage. I chose the medical management route (as I did last September when I had my first mmc)
As we were quite busy at work and I was returning from a holiday, I chose to delay the medical management by two weeks.
I did, however, tell my manager that I will have to have "a procedure to have a cyst removed"and said that I will be able to post pone it for a couple of weeks as I didn't want to let hem down at work, but it will have to be done in about 2 weeks time.

I have also said that it depends on how long it will take to recover but promised to return as soon as possible. I have said I will have to be off for 3-5 working days.

I know most women here are very lucky to work in places where they feel comfortable with telling their managers about miscarrying. However, I consider myself one of the unlucky ones as I really believe that have I told them I had a miscarriage back in September or this month, it will definitely impact how my role develops within the company. Long story short, even though I have been working for them for the last few years, now I am on a 6 month contract at the end of which we will discuss whether I will continue with them or not. Should they know I had a mc, it will definitely not help.

To explain, I chose to say I needed a procedure because we are in the middle of the audit and simply taking time off for a stomach bug or flu/cold etc, would have been frowned upon, so I needed it to be understood it had to be done.

So I braved through it until the date I said I had the procedure booked(luckily I started bleeding naturally the exact same day) and went back to work after 3 days off.
My manager then asked how I felt and if I had any scars (?!). I must say I was taken by surprise a little bit and I am not a very good liar,mainly because I don't enjoy lying.
Anyway, I said "no" (what if she wanted to see them?!) :( And that's how the conversation ended. I am now worried that she will want to have more words about it this week and I don't know what to do :(

I am actually quite upset that on top of the stuff I have to go through with my body and soul after the mc, I have to worry about explaining myself at work too.

I can provide a letter from the GP to confirm I was unwell, do I really have to go into details of what/where/why etc?

Any wise words, please?!

Sorry about your miscarriage Op..

My friend had a cyst removed through a laparoscopy. All she had was a plaster on her belly button.

Anyway, she shouldn't want to see it. That's very inappropriate of her.

She was probably just showing concern, albeit clumsily. You feel vulnerable and down when you have mc, but I wouldn't worry about work, it all sounds fine. Very sorry for your loss.

The GP should be able to honestly say you were off due to a gynae procedure.

If she does push you, Just say it was an internal cyst, of a gynaecological nature, and you didn't want to give TMI.

Very sorry for your loss OP and understandable why you feel the need to cover your back at work.

Removal of cyst is totally plausible. Just google 'laperoscopy procedure' and it should give you enough background info to cover yourself at work if further questions asked.

Good luck xxx

Sorry for your loss OP In a similar situation many years ago and in a relatively new job. My GP was very supportive and said the cause of my absence was nobody's business but my own and gave me a very generic diagnosis for my sick line.

Oh, thank you all very much, I didn't expect anyone replying so soon
It will help me be braver tomorrow at work, I was really worried about going in.
Where I work, they are a bit strange and inappropriate in some ways, very controlling. It is also true that I worry too much, with or without a miscarriage I always overthink things.

I'm so sorry for your loss op. I've just had a labial cyst removed which was very big and sore. My discharge letter was just 'gynaelogical' and I had stitches but no scar I'd care to discuss with anyone!

Lots of love

So sorry for your losses.

When I went in for fertility investigations (done laparoscopically) I used ovarian cyst as a cover story. It turned out I actually did have a cyst on my Fallopian tube, which had to be removed.

My sick note simply said gynae surgery. And the incisions for a laparoscopy are so tiny there are no scars.

If your manager (inappropriately) questions if you have any scars just say that you had it done laparoscopically (keyhole) not via laparotomy (open surgery - used for very large cysts).