I reposted my post from Chat, as that was probably not the right place for it.
I love my work...and my family, but never seem able to get the balance right.
I started up a small practice, working for myself in my profession, after DS2 (2), thinking I'd have the perfect balance. I love the work, it's going well. But I miss having colleagues and fear I may have problems getting back into a more substantial role in the future. I have enjoyed taking some further qualifications but feel guilty that it's taken me away from the children. My plan for next year was to take things easier, focus on the children's needs, quit the studying and just do my freelance work but I am worried already that I am drifting through my career. I have just seen a couple of 'dream jobs' advertised, but I know they would be impossible and no fun to do at the moment (long commute, lots of responsibility) and that really frustrates me.
I know I am really lucky to be able to do an interesting and well-paid job flexibly. But I guess I feel frustrated about not being quite 'in the game'. But, as people keep telling me, if I get back in I won't get the time back with my little ones. I see (male) colleagues I worked with a few years ago steaming ahead and it's very frustrating. I do have a very impatient streak but I really want to enjoy this time, knowing it will be possible to have what I want in a few years time.
Does it ever get any easier to balance work and home and to resurrect a career? At the moment the tension between the two things is really stopping me from enjoying both worlds, which is really hard.