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What would you say to this???

9 replies

Madamecastafiore · 13/05/2014 09:45

Ok meeting at the end of this week and I need a stonkingly good answer - other than 'are you running a workhouse then?' or maybe 'I didn't realise that your office was run as a small communist nation?'

Bit of background - moved to an office due to a huge issue whilst pregnant at another office. Whilst there horrid comments made by woman who investigated issues at previous office - culminated in me refusing to go back to work and going on early maternity leave when she asked me to get on top of a desk to clean off a cupboard - she says this didn't happen but I remember it clearly and her awful attitude and some of the other stuff she did would most certainly swing things my way if we were in a Court of Law. I even remember saying 'If you would like to do the risk assessment' in answer to her!!

Anyway her issues with me are:

I felt that MC talked too much, which I found difficult to listen to not only because of the volume but because of the content and the tone of voice. I recall that MC would always be taking about things that upset or aggrieved her, or things that she wasn't happy with, and always in a harsh tone. I don't mind people talking but I expect that chat in the office to be light and cheerful.

She felt uncomfortable and under strain due to me incessant talking.
(although in another sentance says - My problem was not so much about the amount MC spoke but the way she spoke and the things she spoke about).

Now there were no other complaints about me - in fact everyone was very very complimentary, said I was professional, 'a breath of fresh air', fantastic at my job, some asked if I could possibly come back after my maternity leave and I had absolutely no [problems with anyone else. No one said I talked too loudly or too much at all. I only had one other person to talk to and we were both doing our jobs without issue or complaint from anyone.

Myself and the other woman in the office talked about our children, our homes, cars, holidays, haircuts, clothes, the new kitchen her daughter was having fitted, my pregnancy, holidays, nothing terribly negative or

The outcome of this is for me to be spoken to about my conduct and the woman to be taught 'how to have a difficult conversation' so she could have addressed with me the way she would have liked me to talk and the tone I should have talked in and about what I presume.

So if you were called into an office and spoken to about the abpve what would you say?

OP posts:
ssd · 13/05/2014 09:48

actually I think your first replies as above are perfect

failing that its obvious shes very jealous of you and feels threatened, I'd play her at her own game and home in on her insecurities

good luck!

Madamecastafiore · 13/05/2014 10:13

Thanks ssd - I am just feeling v v vulnerable at present and sort of need some sort of validation that I am not completely bonkers and that people are not allowed to have this amount of control over me.

Have had loads of support on here but with Friday looming I want to get everything clear and written down.

OP posts:
Catnuzzle · 13/05/2014 10:26

I would ask them to be specific about what conduct it is of yours that needs modifying, with examples. How can you modify your behaviour when her 'complaints' have been so general (and basically just show her to have a dislike for you).

I'd also go armed with references from other colleagues to support you if possible.

I'd also be asking why was she not told to wind her neck in, it's clearly a personality clash and she's running to the bosses to make it an issue. Not very professional.

Not a pleasant situation, so good luck and report back!

Madamecastafiore · 13/05/2014 10:56

She also said I was unprofessional but has since said maybe was the wrong word.

I agree her comments are too general but it seems like in this office she calls the shots.

She also demanded that I do the drying up when the dishwasher broke and slagged me off to a temp but that is being treated as the temp breaking confidentiality telling me.

It's all just a big fucking cover up.

OP posts:
Catnuzzle · 13/05/2014 12:18

So she wasn't unprofessional by bitching to the temp? If they have her back on this, it would appear she is well in with the management, is there an HR dept involved, or that you could involve?

InMySpareTime · 13/05/2014 12:40

Could you suggest that your colleague has her hearing checked as that might explain her sensitivity to noise levels that evidently don't cause issues for others in the office. Frame it that you're concerned and "you can't take risks with your health".
That, with her forcing you to undertake risky activities while pregnant, should sow the seeds that she's blasé about H&S, and possibly has health issues herself, but paints you as a concerned colleague.
[Disclaimer - I'm a bit vengeful on the quiet, you need nerve to pull off that kind of evil genius Jedi mind trick]

Madamecastafiore · 13/05/2014 12:58

apparently she wasn't bitching:

'She shouldn't even get a lunch break.' - to the temp after me asking if I could nip and get a sandwich and she saying 'yes, take as long as you need'.

'She's still down there talking to ' - after sending me downstairs to 'learn how to man reception', although wasn't given a time scale as to how long I should take for this. ( I've worked for the chairmen of international banks so really didn't take long to be pointed to where the security button was! )

Honestly I could go on but it is all so petty but wrong too.

She has the backing of the manager of our service and it seems HR is in her pocket too, even someone in occupational health said they know not so cross the head of the service.

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 13/05/2014 12:59

Ha ha - will deffo do the noise level thing. I just want to kill them all with a rusty light sabre!

OP posts:
ssd · 13/05/2014 16:51

she sounds a stupid bitch and the bosses are no better if they believe her lies

sounds a lot like my work actually Sad

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