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Husband at end of tether with teaching job

3 replies

dekari · 13/05/2014 07:50

My husband has been a teacher for 8 years. He was in his last school - a "challenging" academy (which he loved!) - for 7 years, during which time he progressed to head of department, but was eager to advance to senior leadership. He applied for some assistant headships (internally and externally) and was told he lacked experience, having not worked in another school, so made the decision to move sideways to improve his experience and CV.

He started a new role as head of dept in his new school - a seemingly "easier" suburban school - last September and has really struggled to settle since. Essentially there seems to be no camaraderie between colleagues and departments and lots of backstabbing, as well as more parental pressure and an entitled attitude amongst the kids. He has had a few run-ins - something which is completely alien to him, having been well-liked and respected in his old school. He prides himself on building positive relationships but seems to have been thwarted at every turn here.

In Autumn he was really down but decided to stick it out and try not to let them grind him down, with the long-term plan of hopefully moving up the ladder to another school after 2 years there.

However, things have now come to a head. He came home yesterday with a letter saying he's facing a ddisciplinary next week over a silly mistake he made. There were no adverse consequences and, objectively, it seems unlikely that there will be severe ramifications for him. He has already sought support from his union, so just has to go through the process now. But this situation and the way it has been handled has brought out all of his pent-up frustrations - he's even talking about leaving teaching altogether.

He has always loved teaching but has admitted that he doesn't care about his job anymore (possibly a slightly petulant reaction) and is only concerned about protecting his salary. So depressing to hear.

He's also worried about this stressing me out - as I'm 33 weeks pregnant with twins (we have a 2 year old too). Whereas I'm most worried about his state of mind.

I don't want him to be going to work miserable, especially as life's only going to get harder very soon!I've tried to help with the current situation (I'm a control freak like that) but worry he'll spiral into depression at this rate and really don't feel like any of this is really his fault.

Not sure if there's anything to be done but would appreciate thoughts and suggestions?

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cansu · 13/05/2014 07:56

Sounds awful. I would encourage him to get through disciplinary and then focus on getting out. It will put his leadership ambitions on hold for a bit but he needs to find another school he will be happy in and then try and work his way up. If necessary he could even do supply for a while if things become unbearable at current school. It's always a bad idea to make life changing decisions when depressed or angry. Ask him to consider leaving teaching altogether when this is over so he knows he is making it for right reason.

Supermum222 · 13/05/2014 20:36

He needs to get out of that school as soon as he can. Can he not return to his old school?

dekari · 13/05/2014 21:41

Thanks for your replies. He has kept in touch with his former head and asked if there are any opportunities but there's nothing at the moment. It's so hard, as we can't afford for his wage to drop with 2 little ones on the way and he's only too aware that starting a new job with a pair of newborns at home is not the best combination. If his old job was available, I'm sure he'd jump at the chance!

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