Deciding what to do

[Madratlady]

Although I'm not going back to work for nearly 4 months I need to see my manager and get my working hours sorted so that I can let nursery know which days I want to send ds.

I'm lucky that we can afford for me to drop down to 2 days at work (11hr shifts). I could do 2 days if my manager will agree to set days, which would mean paying for 2 days at nursery, that would be about 1/4 of my pay on nursery each month. Or I could ask to switch to nights which, if they will let me work a friday night means that I only need to put ds in nursery one day and dh can get up with him on a saturday while I sleep for a bit.

Working nights would financially be the best thing for us, it'd save us £140 a month on nursery fees and I would get to spend most of my time with ds, it's the closest I could get to being a sahm. The down sides would be that it would have a negative effect on career progression in the future (as would working part time in the setting I work in anyway but more so if it's nights, there's a little snobbiness to contend with), I'd not necessarily get to keep many of my skills up to date, and I don't like some of the night staff who I would be in charge of. I do however know and like the other day staff and would miss working with them. I'm also not a huge fan of working nights either although I worked nights full time for 6 months in a previous job and have worked nights ad days for years.

I'm not sure what to do really, I think I might ask my manager if I can work one day and one night a week.

WWYD?

One day and one night if possible.

Would it be possible to agree to set shifts for six months or so and then reflect and see if a different shift pattern would work (ie days so you can keep skills up to date?)

Are there any transport problems with any of the options (two cars/having to share lifts taking child to nursery etc)

I think if you won't be too tired with nightshifts then go for working nights. I've never worked nights and don't think I could. But if you can then it seems this is the best option. And if it doesn't work could you change back to days.But there is the fact that you prefer the day staff to the night people. I think on balance doing the nights for a year or two would be the best option.

I think I'd go for the days option if you can afford it OK (ish - I know more money is always handy). I think sleeping for "a bit" on Saturday would mean you'd spend the whole weekend knackered and not get to enjoy it with your family as much. Also, not enjoying the work as much and not feeling you were progressing as well, you'd just feel more resentful about working full stop.

Also, I think only putting your DS in nursery one day a week could just make it harder to leave him on that one day (my DS has gone to childminder 2 days a week since he was 9 months).

Working 2 days a week is brill and TBH after a 5 days of being home with small children I used to look forward to my "break" at work like it was the weekend. For that reason, I would pick the job you're going to be happiest in and do the days.

We have 2 cars so no transport issues, I resent having to pay for having a second car but unfortunately the bus service to our village doesn't run at sensible times!

I don't think I'll have any trouble leaving ds, whether it's one or 2 days, I think it'll be good for him to mix with other babies/children and different people.

The thing that's swaying me towards nights is the extra money we'll have, to clear debts and then towards savings, we want to buy a house and the more we can save the better. We're also hoping to start trying for dc2 next spring when ds is one-and-a-bit.

Whilst I like the day staff a few people have left since I've been on maternity leave, there's no point basing my decision on people who may or may not move on to other jobs. There is one member of night staff who I get on great with and plenty of new staff to get to know.

I think I'll ask for a day and a night and see what my manager says.

I think if you can work it so you don't work nights that would be the best option
If you start back working nights you may never get rid of them
When I went back I agreed to work Saturday's to save on childcare
It then took 5 years to get to change my hours so I could work in the week & spend weekends with my family
Think carefully !
Nursery is a relatively short time

Yes, Lilac makes a good point. The pre-school years pass very quickly and "perfect" arrangements now are anything but once DC are in school. It sounds great now to be leaving for work in the evening and to sleep Saturday but not so much when she's been at school all week and unpopular shifts are hard to change once you start them.

IME, although we make a lot of decisions around money it is very rarely the most important thing. Provided you can pay the bills, a job you enjoy and time with the family is worth an awful lot.

Also, you mention further career progression and again the time when you may be thinking seriously about that ( when she goes to school?) is not that far away.

I have worked nights with yound children close together and it is exhausting especially if you have kids like mine that were poor sleepers. if you are thinking of getting pregnant again quickly you will need to consider hoew you will feel working nights and pregnant as they exacerbate morning sickness & fatigue for many people. I would go for the daytime working option if you think you can afford it.

I will be working 2 days each week and I've said I'll pick up occasional extra shifts on weekends if they need me to.

Dh is now demanding I find a 9-5 and work 3 days instead because he doesn't want to not be able to do anything 2 evenings a week. Firstly 9-5 jobs in nursing are like gold dust and would end up with me earning less and paying more for childcare and second he never bloody does anything on an evening anyway!