What is important when you have kids?

[Woodlandelf]

I will be going on maternity leave soon with my first baby. I have a career that I love but am slowly starting to hate the place where I work. Although my job is fairly safe, there have been a lot of redundancies. I'm now trying to juggle my own job (departmental head) with the work of two people below me who have been made redundant (of course that'd not really possible, I have to prioritise, and although I think I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances it's a stressful job, I feel disorganised a lot and feel as though I'm not doing the job I signed up for). Upper management are extremely ineffectual and there is very little respect for them either from me or anyone else.

However.... I have good pay and pension scheme. I live literally on the doorstep of work and can go home for lunch, can leave my house just before 9 and be home before 6. There is also enough flexibility (or apathy!) that I can book time off at short notice and so will find it easy (as it can be) to juggle full-time work with motherhood. Will all of these benefits make up for the frustration and annoyance I feel with my job? I've been thinking of leaving for a couple of years now, but it's quite a specialised role and unless I'm willing to wait potentially 5 or 6 years for my dream job to come up, there may be a lot of compromises to be made. I'm not so fussed about the money, but I'd imagine having to commute might be really tough with a baby. Plus we're tied into a mortgage rate at the moment, so relocating could be tricky for the next 3 years.

In the current financial climate Id say stick with it after mat leave.

things may have changed a bot by then anyway.

I've just gone back after 6 months of Mat Leave. Our biggest work stress is flexibility for when DD is ill (and if you put her into childcare, she's going to get ill - lots!).

Being able to drop things with short/no notice is very attractive. My boss is very flexible but I still feel bad doing it. I've been back six working days and got called by the nursery today to pick her up.

I certainly wouldn't like to be trying to make a good impression in a new job at the moment. Unless you have very good back up childcare plans (like a very willing, able and available granny), I'd stay where you are.

I've been back at work since dd was 8 months, she's 2.5 now. I agree that my biggest stress is flexibility when sickness happens so it's a huge bonus to have a flexible employer.

Also commute is important, sometimes when I have to be away from my office base and don't get back till well after dinner and bath time I feel terribly guilty!

Short commute, low stress / performance management and flexible employer are all helpful IME.

Thank you for the replies, looking like I would be sensible to stick it out for now. It's quite a stressful job, but the benefits make that easier to deal with. I think I need to learn to switch off a bit more and try not to care so much about doing it well when it's impossible! Wx

Stick it out for now. The roles will need to be covered somehow when you are on leave so things may be different when you are back.

Agree with others - those thing you mention would be a real bonus once you are a parent. Give it a year or so after you go back, and see what you think then.

Also agree with others. I've also found that it's much easier to leave the stresses of work at the door now on have a dd to come home to. You may find that the work stress becomes less of a problem as your priorities change.

It's much more important to me that I have flexibility. I don't really love my job but at the moment it's perfect for my family situation, and currently that's more attractive than a more fulfilling and exciting job.

Stick with it. I've recently changed job with a 2yo and a DP who does a very un-child friendly job, they're ok with me now but it's been hard explaining how I end up doing pretty much all the sudden dashes and days off ill etc.

I have found though that I care less about work now I have a young DC. I still like work, I still like working f/t (well, I wouldn't say no to a 4 day week, but it's better than not working), I still want my career to progress in the long run - but overall at the moment I am happy ticking along, not putting in the extra effort of joining committees and publishing, just doing a job and going home. I only changed jobs because there was a threat of redundancy and the pay was utterly shite, when this one came up I knew I would be stupid not to take it.

Child-friendly and not doing your career any harm is better for a few years, I'd say, even if you aren't as challenged as you might want to be.