How to force workplace bullies out into the open

[RatherBeRiding]

I have had huge issues in the workplace for several years, basically being bullied by my line manager who is a manipulative liar. Despite making several complaints non have ever stuck because a) she lies and b) the employer doesn't want to know about bullying accusations against senior managers.
Now some of my colleagues are tittle tattling to line manager about me, dressed up as "concern" for me as I have previously had 3 breakdowns because of this behaviour. She won't tell me who they are [I do know - its a very small team] or exactly what has been said but it is obvious that not only is she condoning this behaviour but actively encouraging it.
I feel like making a formal complaint on the basis that untrue allegations are being made about me and because my line manager is keeping them anonymous [but still tells me about them] and won't even put them in writing I am being denied my entitlement to challenge these slanders.
Does this sound like an approach that would force them out in the open? I want them to say these things to my face, or even put them in writing so that I can respond and rebut them. But I don't know if this is grounds for a formal complaint? I have a meeting with HR next week [who have been as good as useless in the past but I am going to fight back this time and not be pushed over the edge into another breakdown again] but in the meantime it would be good to know if anyone has any advice??

This sounds like a dreadful situation to be in. Hope you manage to get some kind of support at work from hr. Essentially it's unfair IMO that you should be treated like this.

Thank you for your input.
Fab - yes the relationship has broken down irretrievably and although we often manage an uneasy truce the hostility is always bubbling beneath the surface. I have never worked in such a toxic environment. Sadly I cannot find another job - it is at a high level and very specialised and I am not a million miles off retirement so not worth retraining.

I am going to call her on this tittle tattle and take it up with HR formally.

Hello Rather
Just seen your thread. I hope things are working out by now. I've know something of what you're talking about. Really very sorry that this is happening to you. It shouldn't be.

Have you thought of speaking to your GP? Worth, perhaps, having a record of your concerns in your notes in case you decide to take sick leave while you take stock and plan your next steps. It that triggers a referral to Occ Health, that could be a good thing. Work based stress, often the result of undue bullying, is real and sadly there's a lot of it around. Your GP will have heard stories like yours all too often.

A fresh start would be great - but it sounds as though you might want to get some kind of resolution in your workplace. HR may not be your best friend but they have a job to do and procedures to follow. Are you keeping written notes, however brief, of events?

This may sound trite - but your health comes first - way before the running of the department. You may need to take a step back, take time off and fight this from without, without actually resigning and losing income/pension entitlement. Do you belong to a union or professional association? If so, this is what your dues are for. Call on them, too. And good luck.

Not sure if I can be of any help.
I found this quite useful
shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/how-to-avoid-bullying-and-mobbing-at-work/

Becoming a "YES" woman may not come to you easy but it may help.
I found that stopping being very helpful brought interesting change to the team.
I used to be always coming up in with ideas and offering help. Stopping that showed that others aren't as able as they appear to be and also gave me a chance to see what various situations are like looking from the outside. You can then asses what you would say or/and do should anyone turn to you with a question.

Keeping track of what's been going on would make huge difference to any discussion. HR has to respond if you bring a write up of events.

here is what I found useful:

"If you decide to stay at your current job due to financial restrictions or because an alternate job isn’t readily available, find ways to protect yourself and keep a low profile. It’s more difficult to become a target if you stay off the radar.

Don’t openly disagree with or challenge the bully. Don’t offer suggestions that differ from their agenda. Don’t offer constructive criticism. Become a “yes” man or woman or stay silent when you disagree. Get assignments done on time, smile, and don’t go above and beyond.

If you do outstanding or highly creative work, bullies will find that threatening. It seems counter-intuitive, but if you do something that makes you look good, bullies believe they look bad in comparison and turn on you. If you can find a better or comparable job opportunity, please do so as quickly as possible. This strategy should be a temporary solution, not a long-term one. Over time, it can become just as stressful and demoralizing as being bullied."

"New managers typically want their own people in place who are loyal to them and share their beliefs and values. If they don’t have legitimate grounds to fire you, they may try to eliminate you through bullying tactics by making the workplace as unpleasant as possible for you."

I agree that workplaces can have a lot of managers (particularly middle managers) and colleagues who are insecure and consciously or subconsciously feel threatened by brighter, more experienced or more hard working employees. Do you think this is the problem in your case?

Why do you think your manager bullies you and not your telltale colleagues and encourages their behaviour?

Sorry it has been such a stressful experience for you.

becoming a "yes" person will give you a chance to sit with popcorn and watch your manager to make silly mistakes
it will happen and you will be emotionally disengaged as you decide not to contribute

good managers allow people around them to contribute and build strength of the team
weak managers see clever and challenging people as threat to themselves
not an asset