It's my first day back at work tomorrow, please can someone reassure me it will be ok?

[Jumblebee]

I've been in tears on and off all day. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.

I'm only going back 16 hours over 4 days, but travelling time means I'll be away from my DD 6 hours each day.

Everything just seems to be worrying me. I don't like my job at all, there is no chance of progression and most of my friends have left since I've been on maternity leave.

Also, now I'm no longer on maternity leave we'll be about £150 worse off, plus £70 travelling costs, per month. We already live frugally and don't have unnecessary bills, there's nothing we can cut back on just yet. I'm so scared that we'll have no money and won't be able to pay all the bills and have any left over to start savings.

Most of all, I don't want to have to spend time away from DD. These past 9 months have been the best of my life. Having every day with my DD to do whatever we want has been a blessing. My DP is so supportive but I don't think he realised quite how worried I am about everything until I broke down in tears this morning before he left for work. I feel so selfish because he has worked over double the hours that I will be working, ever since DD was 2 weeks old. And he's missed out on things which I know made him sad.

Can someone please tell me not to be so silly, and reassure me that it's not the end of the world? DD will be cared for by people I completely trust, but even so I hate that it won't be me that is always there for her.

Did anyone else feel like this? Was it as bad as you expected? Am I building it up to be a lot worse than it really will be?

Just feeling very sad right now, sorry to be such a moaner :(

Hi there.

I completely understand, and you are allowed to feel sad and are not selfish. Far from it, you are going off to work for the benefit of your family.

Your DD will have a strong female role model and you can be proud.

She will be totally fine and excited to see you at he end of the day. Quality time is the key.

Good luck, go easy on yourself.

Thank you for taking the time to reply Morello, it is very much appreciated.

The one thing I keep thinking of, is that maybe when I do come home from work, her eyes will light up the same way they do when her dad gets in. She is a complete daddy's girl and because she doesn't see him as much, whenever she does she is so happy. I'd love for her to look at me that way, maybe the time apart will make her realise that I can be the fun one too, if that makes sense!

I hope that she will be proud of me, I've never really felt that I've done anything that anyone would be proud of, but I want to work hard and make sure she has everything she needs.

Don't worry. (Easier said than done I know)

Your dd will be fine without you (in a nice way!)

You will get to have lovely hot drinks, adult conversation, eat in peace, and you will look forward so much to getting home to your little girl.

And I occasionally get a squeal and a big grin when I get in like her dad gets every day!

Thanks Pickle! My DD has always been good with other people, and when I have left her she's usually been good as gold. She'll probably be spoilt rotten by my family when they look after her and I know my DP will enjoy having 2 days each week where he can spend quality time with her. It's more me I'm worried about, selfishly I really hope I don't cry tomorrow at work!

Just need to remind myself that I'm not the first person who has had to go back to work. I should feel lucky that, although we may not be the best off financially, I don't have to go back full time, 5 days a week!

Also, it will be nice to have a bit of time where I'm the only person I need to worry about. If I get into work early enough I might even be able to have a hot cup of tea! It'll be nice to have something that is for me, instead of just being known as "DD's mum"