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New post mat leave job + Working for a pessimistic boss - advice on coping strategies please

1 reply

HKinCrystalPalace · 16/04/2014 22:07

Hi, I don't suppose there is an answer, maybe I am just looking for something to pep me up.

I returned to work after 10 months mat leave and changed companies. A slight step up in role and with better career prospects, in a more established company able to offer benefits (yay pension and childcare vouchers and healthcare, after probation) and slightly flexible hours.

However my boss is soooo pessimistic, everything I do is not good enough, they don't get at me personally but my work is rejected without much idea of how to improve it. I won't go into detail of what I do, but it isn't a formulaic job and so there isn't usually a right way of doing something it is just down to the whim of my boss. I am also learning a new area and so don't have previous examples or track record in this sector to rely upon.
I also work pretty much just with my boss and so no one else to ask advice or learn from.

I find it so hard to keep going and pick myself up, boss said, "it isn't my job to say good job" HR spoke to me and I tried to explain, but people know company wide my boss is difficult and as I am on probation don't want to rock the boat. Also various people have hinted my boss is a pain, but won't change, therefore I have to work around them.

I am fine - surprisingly - with leaving my DD and my DH is splitting pick up and drop off with me so well supported there.
I haven't dared take time of when DD was ill (DH took unpaid leave from work - amazing!) change in hours seems OK, only a few comments about not being there when my boss gets in or when they leave, but i'm at the end of a blackberry. Boss is a workaholic, very rich and has nannies for their children and can't understand why I don't - tried to explain I can't afford that sort of support. They work for fun, as don't need the money.

However I cry most days at work, (the disabled loo the floor below my floor is my favourite place - how sad is that?!), I feel sick, stressed and scared on Sunday nights and most mornings my tummy flips. I was described as "nervous" in work, which is not me AT ALL, I am usually confident and a slight know it all.

Is this just adjustment to not working for a year? have I taken on too much? Could hormones be making me too emotional? Is it just new job, lots of learn, feeling a little out of depth?

Any new mums gone back to new jobs, ones that have been a promotion, or new area, as mine is?

DH keeps telling me to quit or get pregnant, but we really need the income and I really want to give my career this push and not have second baby for at least 18 months. however we all have a breaking point.

Any advice really welcome as I feel slightly broken in spirit.

OP posts:
Cheerymum · 16/04/2014 22:21

I had a horrible return to work after my first - new job, my boss was actually lovely but the organisation was a total negative pit/mess. And in a safety critical industry, I felt so so anxious about potentially participating in a disaster. With hindsight, I had or was heading for PND.
I solved it by moving job after 6 months. Same role/prospects but different organisation, and shorter commute. Instant relief.
Huge sympathy, it's tough enough going back to work to a familiar environment, with supportive colleagues. Prioritise your mental health.

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