Does anyone else find working part-time difficult?

[beansprout]

I used to be full time but now do 3 days a week in an adjusted version of my job. I appreciate that I am lucky to have this, so am really not moaning about that. However, I used to be involved in all sorts of things and now I just feel like I am on the sidelines quite a lot and the fact is, I just can't do the number of things I used to. I know that sounds really obvious but it's a bit of a struggle some days. I suppose I want the best of both worlds - shocker!!!

I know just how you feel, beansprout. I used to work part time.

You've got to learn to switch off from your work more as you just won't be as involved in everything and you will miss out on things. You've got to programme yourself not to care because at times you will be forgotten about and there is no point feeling sore about it.

Always remember - none of it matters that much! (Not that I'm trying to belittle your job.)

Thanks PD, you are right. I used to be so into my job and part of me still is so I feel frustrated and limited by my hours sometimes (not that I want to change them). At least I don't have a boss who is hassling me to do more than I can! Some people are just never happy!

Totally!
I felt completely removed from my job and colleagues.
I struggled to keep updated and the enthusiasm that i used to have had just all but disapeared.
The most obvious thing that struck me was my complete lack of interest in it all. I was behind but truly did not care, couldnt give a stuff.
Prior to ds my job was my main focus in life for 10 years, i worked really hard to get to where i was and was deeply involved in all aspects. That went completely.
I work 20 hours a week.
Now he is 3 and without anything much changing, that is slowly coming back.
I can retain information and my curiosity is back. My interest and enthusiasm is pushing its way through again and im very relieved.
There are of course A MILLION reasons why it all went and why i was a shell of my former self, PND, exhaustion and a huge shift in priority to name a few.
Im glad it happened like that because it made me stop in my tracks and realise that there is much more to me than bieng an employee.That getting up for work and devoting my precious time, effort and energy to total strangers was not what i was put here on earth for solely.
I was professionally derailed for a time, but im coming back, dipping my toe in the water so to speak BUT this time im holding back because the best bit is at home and takes no effort to be fab and fun and rewarding.
I supose what i am saying in answer to your post is that for me it is the next good bit in life, no i cant do every thing that i used to do...for my job and career but i think to myself good God, look at what ive made when i look at my son, im fucking awesome!!!!!

I am enjoying coasting in my pt job - I changed roles to get flexible working. It is not particularly high profile or challenging. My ego is no longer tied to my job. I miss out on all the evening social events. I probably won't be able to progress. But ... my focus is now on building my family. I tell myself I can gear up later. This is just to keep my toe in the employment waters and keep the finances ticking over.

Thanks DonBean. Have been teaching part time since DS 5 months old and he starts school himself soon. Find it hard to motivate myself at times as it's such a demanding job (yes, I know the holidays are great too). The past year has been very tough on me emotionally and I can't say I'm looking forward to going back to work after the summer break. Maybe with DS at school and DD at nursery I will find it easier to cope with the workload. You have helped me see that things can get better.

Don't know if anyone is still following this threasd but herere goes.....apologiues for spelling. Its late and I'm tired. I went to 3 days after mat leave (DD is 22 months and still b/feedin!!!!!! but that;s another thread!). I work in telly and its a bit of a young trendy deot though I was (and still am) the longest serving member of staff with the most exp. I had to accept a fairly menial and bog standard job that was 'created' for me which doesn't stretch me, and doesn't use the knowledge I had which is ebbing away. I got several company payrises whilst on leave and was completely overlooked a few months back when all my colleagues were given a one to one chat on a fRiday aft (prob about how grest they are) and then given £500 payrise. I had to sit ther like a dope and pretend I didn't know what was going on. I haven't forgotten. It's more the message that my crap boss (bloke no kids) sends out to the rest of the dept that I sit on the sidelines, have no right to be involved and have to do whatever they throw at me (however pointless) coz \i have no other chice. Been there 6 years. Previous boss was female and great and instigated the part time position. Think he just sees me as a hassle. Have my annula review on Thursday so reading threads to see what other folk have said.....really hacked off but don't want to waltz in there guns blazing. Hurrumph

hi there. I know exactly how you feel. my job has commission attached to the number of people i get out to work but because i am only doing 3 days a week they are pro rata-ing my commission as well as my salary. I put people into work for 5 days but do't get to earn all of the money - it goes straight onto the company's bottom line. I have walked ointo a dept that i used to run to find that they have replaced me completely and taken on a trainee (who thinks all women are there to just do his admin) and I have nothing to do, am bored out of my brains and cannot believe how little work my colleagues do - and get away with.
I know I either have to take a deep breath and confront all these issues, which is impossible to do without going back f-t and managing them which i really don't want to do so I am trying very hard to relax and let it all flow over me and just go in, do my hours, leave on time, take a full lunch and remember that the only important thing at the moment is my dd. She took 5 years to get and I am not going to allow work to get me so would up that I bring it all home and do't enjoy my time with her.

I am sorry to not offer any help but once I started I couldn't stop the rant..

I have had two experiences so far - the first going back after DD1 part-time (ha ha - paid for 18 hours and working about 45) and very quickly moved to condensed hours (35 hours in 4 days). Long, tiring days with an hour commute at each end, coming home to a grumpy toddler and and an evening of chores. In fact, I almost sleepwalked through Mon-Thurs and then did the washing on Fridays. It was that exciting! But at least I maintained my position and status (and salary). This time round, after DD2, I have gone back to a more senior position, but negotiated a 25 hour week. I am trying really hard to give myself a break and not work evenings, but find it is impossible to do the work without. When I am at work I love it and feel like it's where I want to be, unless...I think about my kids and how it felt to be at home with them!

But... and it's a big but...I don't really think I'd be happier at home full-time or at work full-time. I am hoping to achieve a balance and accept that I can't do everything, although I find this hard to believe . I do think that we are probably the first generation of women to really feel, en masse, the urge to clone ourselves and feel fulfilled in both these aspects - home and work. Part-time can be a great compromise; it's just getting to a balance where it can work. Easier said than done!

Wow 2 replies, thanks. Some days I just think 'I don't care - answer the phone, type and spend my precious lunch hour strolling outside and browsing in shops' . It's what I have to do to get the best of both worlds. I love my Mon and tues at home - we have a great time it's precious. But my boss asked me a few months ago when I would finally give in to the lure of fulltiem money. I said never - maybe a bit too quickly - just to make him realise that's it's going to be for longer then he thinks. We have put off the finalising of my part time status for another 6 months as it was a problem that both of us could not agree on.Added difficulty that he has no children (couldn't) and almost cringes when I mention my DD. I fing it upsetting that I can't talk about her and once, after having to collect from nursey=ry ill, he refused to speak to me for 3 weeks. Bizarre I know. But hard to challenge. I let him get on with it. But, like I said, I have my annual review pending and I don't want to be seen to be toeing the line and accepting all the crap. Tricky one

a friend of mine who is much wiser than i told me that she pays for people to make her life look together - she has a nanny, a cleaner and an ironing lady - whilst I am not suggesting for one minute that we all re- mortgage our houses to do the same I do think we need to decide on our priorities and stop trying to be perfect. If you can afford the help, get it. Delegate, prioritise and forget the rest.. Part time is the best solution to keep your skills up to date and to maintain a profile in the company but you must remember that you only get paid part time money so make sure you only do part time hours!! (I am now going to take my own advice and pay someone to iron my bed clothes!!)

Absolutley no chance of a cleaner - despite being on my wishlist for several birthdays/Xmas's. Plus I feel I don't hold the pursestring s and have the same - equal - financial clout as previos. Not that DP is a git - but just he is more able to spend willy nilly. Or maybe I just feel that way. My house is pants and I know it but have discovered its easier to surround yourself with friend who have equally pants homes. I can put that part into perspective - esp as close friend just lost baby at 34 weeks - but when I'm at work I feel like I should be the same as the rest esp when they are still asking me for advice but technically I'm the office junior. But still on good wage. It;s a bit weird.

After returning from maternity leave and working 0.5 of a full time job I was shocked about how much of a difference it made. When I was full time I was involved in everything and regarded as a vital part of my department - since returning I have been sidelined and given no responsibility - people don't bother telling me information (if I miss it on my days off) which makes my job really difficult at times. I have finally realised that until I return full time (many years as I am pregnant again !) I will continue to miss out and be overlooked. I am thinking of having a career break until I am able to return full time as part time is not working for me. I don't think part time is the best of both worlds unless you have a very family orientated employer.

No one said it was going to be easy (forgive the cliche) bit I think all of us are shocked at how difficult it is. You run the risk of trying to do a full time job in part-time hours, run the house and look after the cjildren at the same time and then constantly feel like you have forgotten something...I sometimes feel like I am short-changing everyone including myself. I used to be (and have) fun! I am determined to enjoy my daughter while she is growing up and if that means that I sometimes don't do other stuff then tough, someone else will have to do it.

Laino - you must not allow yourself to think that just because you are earning less money you have less of a say in the household. You are doing the most important job of all which is bringing up your children, it just doesn't carry a financial reward that's all. Persuade your other half that a cleaner is only the same cost as a new dvd a week and that you will be a nicer person if you have more time together rather than being a nagging housewife - try bribery!!

Help, I am finding this thread completely depressing.

I am due to return back in Jan for 4 days a week with slightly reduced hours and I have just got my head round the fact that it should just about be ok provided we get the cleaner in for extra hours, farm out the ironing and I stop trying to make most of rookiebabies food myself.

Is there anyone here who doesn't find p/t awful ?

Me, Rookiemum!!! I do three days a week, probably 85% of all domestic stuff (dh's job has silly hours with evenings and weekends) and it's all just fine and lovely (on the whole). I have a good job with great people, some of whom are also part-time and a boss who wants to make it a family-friendly environment. It can work and I do feel that I have it all at times and I'm very, very thankful.

I work 3 days a week and have 3 children - 2 at school and DS2 aged 14 mths. I love going to work as it is a change of scene and more stimulating and makes me full of enthusiasm when I get home! I do have a cleaner once a week (today!) and DH does the school/nursery run on my work days, and I think we balance things pretty well

Phew thats a relief, thanks for that !

Working p/t is the ideal solution for me,dh and ds. I had always put my career before everything (a couple of times I nearly put it before dh, thats another story..) My former employer was the most family unfriendly you can imagine. Decided to take a a few extra months off after mat leave, as unpaid leave - 1: to see if we could live on dh wage only, and 2: how would I feel about being sahm after working full time for so long. Was the best thing we ever did. Realised that dh wages did cover all the essentials, but couldn't stretch to the treats (lunches out etc) and as much as love ds, I missed adult company.

When ds was 9mths old, I found a p/t job, 5 mornings a wk. Ds spends one morning with mil, one morning with my mum, and 3 mornings in nursery (which he loves) The biggest thing for me is that I have a very understanding boss, who's a parent himself. It helps that he's also the owner of the company

I'm now pregnant again, and I intend to return to work after mat leave.

The work/life balance is such a tricky one, but working p/t can help! I

I've worked pt ever since ds1 born 14 yrs ago & really like it. Hours have varied between 20 & 30 (have had about 6 jobs in those years).
Now, work 9.30 to 2.30 4 days a week so am around to get ds2 off to school, there when he gets home & have flexibility on day off to do housework if it really needs it, go for a walk with a friend, meet a friend for lunch, etc.
Technically, I could work ft now but am not under any pressure from dh to do so as he works typically 70 hrs per week so, not unreasonably, he doesn't have to lift a finger in the house.
Good luck when you go back.
BTW, I'm a lawyer & just see clients/my secretary most of the day so don't really have to bother too much with office politics.

After DS1 was born I worked 3 days a week as a teacher. I found it incredibly difficult not being in one place or another, and felt I wasn't giving my best to either job. As I'm the breadwinner, we decided I had to go back full time and it was so much easier in many ways that when my current maternity leave finishes I'm going straight back to full time. Ds1 likes the routine of weekdays at nursery (at my school, lucky, lucky me) and so I'm pretty sure Ds2 will be ok with it too...

I enjoy working part-time and always have (apart from crap days!) since I went back to work when my first was 6 months old 6.5 years ago.
However, I think you have to be realistic. I realise that I have put my career on hold, while I am part-time. I am simply not available to work on high profile projects which require more hours. Sometimes, I get annoyed that I end up doing things that I am ridiculously over-qualified to do, but most of the time I can comfort myself by thinking I am less stressed & get to spend time with the children.
Full-filling part-time work is like the blinking Holy Grail!!!

Working 3 days part time has worked out for me.

My job is the type where everyone has their 'patch' or 'cases', so it's always been clear where my responsibilities start and end - haven't felt pushed out.

It is a job that in principle involves travelling. Also, the boss lives a long way away and is very keen on taking 'work at home days'. This means that it is fairly usual for people to be absent - I don't stand out that much.

Have had harder and easier patches, but in general think it is a wonderful balance to be able to spend my week 'half and half' between home and work.

I've always worked full time. I've seem people sidelined who work part time which sometimes doesn't matter. the other downside is that often you get as much work as full time and end up working on days off, in some jobs plus your other half assumes you have all this free time at home so you end up with very sexist roles at home and unfair division of chores. Worst of all worlds, plus lower pay, loss of status etc etc etc and can affect your working life right up to age 65 thereafter on some career tracks.

From DS being 6months to 2 years I worked full time. I found this quite tough because I was working a compressed 4 day week (7-5.30 everyday, but atleast only a 20 minute commute). However as I was doing a job that sometimes required me to work 'unpaid' overtime (i.e. I was paid a salary that was high enough for them to expect me to work extra hours at busy times, rather than being paid per hour), I sometimes found myself coming into work at 5.30 am, or working weekends as it was very hard for me to work later than 5.30 pm because had to pick DS up from nursery. I felt I had to work as many hours as the other full-time staff to justify my position.

For the last year I have been working a 3 day week. I have found this easier, because I am paid for the hours that I work, rather than always feeling the pressure to make up for being allowed to work a compressed week. I have had to give up the prospect of promotion, but at this point in my life other things are more important. I would rather spend time with my son than my work colleagues. However, for most of this time I have been pregnant, so my main work 'problem' has been the fact that I feel that I have been in a hand-over period for months and I am the kind of person who would rather get stuck into a project myself than explain/train other people.

Now I have just started maternity leave and hope to be a SAHM for atleast the next year. So far the best bit about not going into work has been that DS has had a cold and I didn't have to go through that whole 'is he too ill to go to nursery school' thing.