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Original poster

Last child going to school - oh no, I'm unemployed!

19 replies

scotchick · 21/08/2006 10:41

Is there anyone out there like me? My youngest is starting school this week and Im getting all the 'what ARE you going to do with yourself' / 'lady of leisure' / 'are you going to be a lady who lunches? etc etc. I gave up work when ds2 came along as I really wanted to spend the time at home with kids which I've really enjoyed. I always thought i'd have a change of career when they were both at school but here we are, and with no family nearby there is no course I can do (which I'm interested in) which doesn't involve putting kids in after school club or relying too heavily on friends to pick them up. It looks like I might have to take the kind of job I had 20 years ago when I thought I had moved on so much. Am feeling really stressed about it. AND very much under pressure to go out and earn money. My dh jokes about it and tells me not to worry (he's always supported and agreed with me re decision to stay at home with kids) but then makes the odd comment and I know he'd like some more money brought in. Any one with a similar experience?

OP posts:

iota · 21/08/2006 10:42

me, apart from the pressure from dh

Original poster

scotchick · 21/08/2006 10:45

I hate to say it but what ARE you going to do with yourself?!

OP posts:

iota · 21/08/2006 10:47

not a lot

get fit in the gym and lose that 20lb excess 'baby-weight'

gemmum · 21/08/2006 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lazycow · 21/08/2006 13:24

Can I just ask - What job did you do that you can work less than school hours? Most well-paid work (unless it is done from home and/or you are self employed) is not compatible with school drop off and pick up times. Surely any work you do will involve some after or pre-school care for the kids. In which case why not re-train anyway? Surely if you re-train you will have a higher earning capacity in the future and most courses will be such that you would probably only need to use after school clubs some days but not all days.

Though I have to say - I'd have a bit of rest first for a few months - visit the gym and relax - After all those years with pre-school kids to look after you deserve a break

Original poster

scotchick · 21/08/2006 14:13

Thanks lazycow. It's such a juggle, the kids do clubs which they really like, so if I put them in afterschool club they wouldn't be able to do them anymore. It's trying to juggle the course with the days the boys are busy and also trying to find a friend to take both boys, I thought about the options so much and spoke to the people at the college but it was a no go. I found a one year horti course I can start next year, Wed mornings so I guess that's a start but I do have this great feeling of dissatisfaction now, you know, I had in mind I would do a good level of horti and finish course and then try to find a job in a nursery, but I guess life isn't like that. The only course I can do is like a leisure course but as I say it's a start.

OP posts:

anniebear · 21/08/2006 15:00

My two started reception last year

I started working from Home selling childrens books but that is just now and again when I want to. I am not making millions from it. But it can fit around the children

But the amount of people that ask if I am going to get a job

I do a long journey in the mornings (one DD has SN so goes to a different school)

so the job would have to be 10-2 at the most. I can't work school hols and I need time off for my DD hospital appointments

as if!!!

The best one was about 8 weeks after I had given birth to them (twins) a lady at DH work said why don't I work evenings at Asda

Original poster

scotchick · 21/08/2006 15:01

Lol.

Someone told me at the weekend that Tesco are looking for people to work Friday nights and Saturday mornings.

Of course they are!

OP posts:

lazycow · 21/08/2006 15:36

I really do have a bug bear about this . People always go on about going back to work when the kids are at school. This is so much harder logistically than working when they are very small.

I am not saying which is better working or staying at home. But if we choose to stay at home, let's be realistic this is likely to be a long term choice not just until the youngest starts school at 5 years old. It really annoys me when people ask when will you get a job? when our children start school.

My feeling is working will be harder when ds starts school so I may well give up work then and take a few years out then until he is 10 or 11.

iota · 21/08/2006 17:36

lazycow - I quite agree. Flexible work that pays resonably well and fits around school is very hard to find and it would not be practical to do my previous job on a part time basis.

lindat1964 · 24/08/2006 22:11

Hi scotchick,

if you are not needing to earn tons of money, there are loads of things you could do to give yourself a focus and avoid the 'when are you going back to work' questions, but only after you've had at least 2 weeks off with your feet up !!

Are you interested in any of the 'workfromhome businesses' like Mini-IQ, Usbourne books , virgin vie etc - all fairly similar in principle , some more pressured than others - I know that Mini-Iq and usbourne don't have target and are a great way of earning some extra cash - particularly over the next few month. You can build these up to be a team leader, and earn pretty good money of you are prepared to put teh effort in, or it can be just a bit extra now and agin.

or how about volunteering ?- loads of charities need extra help, or working in a pre-school ?
(often 2 or 3 1/2 days a week is enough).

to echo the other post, I agree that while your kids are inprimary school is probably the worst time to go back to work - it's not just the school hours. but I needed to be part of their school life, and to have friends back or go for te, or do gym or football- not to mention go to the assemblies and meet the teacher etc every term!

Linda

twoleftfeet · 27/08/2006 20:00

Scotchick,

Yes, I've also been getting really stressed about this. There does seem to be quite a lot of pressure to 'go back to work' once you have 'all day' (ha, ha) free. I am finding it impossible to get a part-time job that fits in with family life in a reasonable way and is also vaguely interesting. No new advice I'm afraid, just wanted to say that you're not alone. I agree that re-training seems to be the only way forward if money issues are not pressing for a year or two. I'm going to do a couple of courses and some voluntary work for the next year. I need to get out and see some people during the day, as no longer able to go to toddler groups etc!

Judy1234 · 29/08/2006 12:40

I thought for those who'd looked after under 5s all day which is very hard work (I could never have done it, always worked full time) the next 5 years without taking an outside job was your compensation for it. I don't see why there should be pressure to go back and anyway there's still the house and family to look after and they're off school for large parts of the year. I wouldn't worry about filling in the time.

pointydog · 29/08/2006 20:38

Well, according to some childcare expert or other (Biddulph?) kids need you most pre-5 and then in early teens. Always plenty of reasons not to work if you don;t want to.

Original poster

scotchick · 29/08/2006 20:56

Usborne is appealing as I love their books anyway, but I live in a small town where there is already a very well established usborne seller, and this town ain't big enough for the both of us!

Am feeling a bit calmer. Have found a course I can do next year and have a number of things I want to get done around the house before Christmas as well as lose some weight, seriously. Will also keep my eye out for any suitable job, but will not compromise on my no childminder/out of school club thing.

OP posts:

anniebear · 30/08/2006 08:15

I don't know

If there is only 1 other Organiser there, there are always new places opening up and you may have different idea's to her

Plus if you got to know her you may find there are bookings she can't do and may pass some on to you??

I recently met another Organiser in my area and she was made up!! We chatted for ages! And she did turn to me and say she had too many bookings last Christmas and would I want any she couldn't do!!

Also you don't have to stay in your own area, you can sell where ever you like, obviously better if you drive!

Plus you will also know different people to her, if you are trying to get people to hold coffee mornings/evening etc

threebob · 30/08/2006 08:24

I have just got my teaching organised so it's mostly done when ds is at preschool or in bed. That took me 1.5 years. Now I have 1.5 years to reorganise it all again in time for him to start school so it's all during the day.

But with the savings on preschool and extra tax credits for a lower income (this is NZ so don't get excited) we should probably be around the same - only I won't have to work as hard.

KBear · 30/08/2006 08:38

I get the "will you go full time when DS starts school" line. I thought about it briefly but in reality there is a school holiday every 6 weeks roughly, then childcare is a logistical nightmare for many people. I wouldn't feel guilty about not rushing out to work.

KBear · 30/08/2006 08:38

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