So many underemployed and unemployed friends!

[goonIcantakeit]

I'm grateful to have had training in law, so I can work alone at a rate that is worthwhile and control my hours.

So many of my friends, though, are unable to find meaningful work in school hours. It's men as well as women, and mostly in our 40s.

I need to bring Xenia here to give them all some firm advice!

Seriously though, it bugs me. Here are two examples:

1. 51 year old currently working in school nursery which is all wrong for her. She has a background in receptionist/secretarial/client entertainment. Her USP is that she always presents herself professionally in dress and manner and is a great listener. I see her as, for instance, an estate agent. Perhaps a rep. For a largely online agency that still wants someone to do occasional viewings, payong a commission. In Lindon, she could be a paid fashion consultant, taking women to shops to get them well dressed. She excels in dress and never judges others.

2 45 year old male with sports/physical training background who stopped teacher training because of the long hours (partner also works long hours).

Neither are entrepreneurial, but there surely ought to be something above minimum wage for them in a prosperous little commuter town like ours?

Does anyone else get bothered by frustrated unemployed friends' plight?

Maybe they are happy?

You should be supportive of your friends choices, it sounds here as though you're far too critical.

Sorry but you sound a bit smug and judgemental to me

Ah, sorry , my fault, should have added, no, they aren't happy at all!
I would have zero interest if they hadn't been telling me for years of their frustration.
Can I start again? :)

Yes, go for it

Although I do understand what you mean, you did make yourself sound awfully smug with the first line of your post.

But I am not sure that an estate agent is a very fulfilling or interesting job. Surely the challenges and rewards of working with children would be far more rewarding? Clearly your friends are not happy - as you say - but it really is their choice.

I have a fellow writer friend who takes on work from such poor money. She is so busy chasing work and writing cheap hotel descriptions (£4 per 350 words) that she couldn't come to a business networking event. At the event, there were a lot of people who had writing needs. I do try and help her by telling her that:

a. She is a good writer/journalist with a lot of experience
b. If she values herself then she should up her rates and refuse the dross
c. She really must check clients out first - she is owed money and has twice not been paid.

Yes, you can try and help but motivation comes from within.

Maybe you should retrain as a careers consultant?

Example 1: if her background is as a secretary/receptionist then that is probably her upper ceiling for salary and role. To be an estate agent you need to have quite a strong 'sales' mentality, so unless she has that I would imagine that would not suit her. She could train as a 'Colour me Beautiful' person, perhaps? Or maybe she is happy working in the nursery and enjoys being around young children?

Example 2: professional trainer? Leisure management?

In fairness, unless either of them have degrees, professional qualifications, sought after skills or a lot of entrepreneurial get-up-and-go, I can't see that they would be likely to get into senior or well-rewarded roles.

Thanks for the replies. I can't edit the first line of the post.

She hates her current job which she feels is babysitting. She respects her colleagues who can "see" the child development issues that make it interesting for them, but that's not something she naturally "gets" (she has exquisite manners so her instinct is to train the children in these whereas our other friend, her colleague, can "see" the learning process underneath so gets more out of it IYSWIM).).

"Colour me beautiful" is a good idea. She would be fantastic at that. Her "gift" is being able to advise on clothes, etc, without ever seeming judgy or looking down at people who are scruffs (of which I am one, with alopecia problems to boot). She could make a real difference to other people's confidence (if I was in some high flying public- facing role, I 'd hire her).

Branchingout, re the last line, you must be right but it seems such a waste......

If there were receptionist jobshares in BigCity where one person worked 7.30 to 1 and the other worked 1 to 7pm that would help employ a few of my friends....

There must be parents out there who want to improve their children's manners, maybe she could become some sort of guru?

I think if you're unhappy then it's time to retrain and see what else is out there, or set something up for yourself. People can be anxious about doing this as it's a big step, so they tend to stick with what they know. It's worse if they have previously worked in a higher field and have 'downgraded' for want of a better word. Their self esteem must have taken a battering and it's bound to affect their choices. It can be very difficult to bounce back. Maybe it would help if you gave them the support and encouragement that they need to take the first step?

Well I don't think you sound smug at all. In fact to show concern and interest in this way shows how considerate you are of others.

There are many undervalued people out there. Retraining costs money too. Which isn't always available.

Identifying what one wants to do is hard as well.

Careers advisor first stop ?

Thanks both. The only advice I've given her is to identify people who she believes respect her and spend as much time with those people as possible.

What I really want to say is "is your Cv up to date?"

She tried photography and was good at it but it's the most crowded of crowded fields.........

I could see her doing a fashion blog..... Putting pictures up of achievable styles for women our age. And then who knows what services or advertising might piggyback on that...

A fashion blog sounds interesting, also lots of shopping centres and dept stores employ personal shoppers.

She was born to be a personal shopper.....

I might have a word on the basis that someone saying "you'd be brilliant at X" is always nice to hear.....

the male friend is trickier as he tends to get despondent when things don't work....

do you think also that a fashion blog would also be a way of getting herself back into fashion without having to ask anyone for a job first IYSWIM?

The blog would be like a portfolio and she is good at the photos.

So the blog would be a level to get interviews as a personal shopper...

not level - lever.

I dont live in the uk but a friend here runs a business where she goes to people's houses, looks at their clothes and figures out what they need to chuck and what to buy to make what they've already got work. She also runs high end clothes swap parties ( high end high st and designer) and takes an admin fee. She is great at it but I'm not sure she makes a living wage so if your friend needs to make NMW equiv it might not work , plus you've got to be able to do weekend and evening work.

Agree that photography not the way fwd. without being disparaging, tech advances have really lowered the bar in terms of ability to take prof quality photos.

Estate agency is really sales. It takes a certain mindset and being able to remember who you're working for.

thanks for putting me straight on estate agency. You're right, she would - like me - give great customer service to the person she wasn't working for!

wish you were my friend goon!!

I'd love to be told what my skills are and what I should do!

About to become unemployed as my current work (police) doesn't support my childcare needs/ requirements.

Start a thread zippy! Though it is hard to know your own strengths.... Could you ask a decent manager for an exit interview or something?

Hi
It can be hard to know what you want to do and we don't always know what our skills are. I think we do loose our confidence because our self esteem is lowered and I do think there are so many people who could do so much more 'job wise' but are held back by not believing in themselves.
I am really speaking from the heart as this was me a couple of years ago! I started something that has given me back my confidence and I am excited about my future