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Moral/work dilemma

9 replies

Postbox1401 · 03/04/2014 14:18

Hi
I've not posted on here before.
I would welcome views from mums here on a dilemma I have.
I have a 22 month old DD and have been back at work 10 months. I'm not enjoying my job but the maternity package is good.
My dream job has come up with much better pay package.
I have been selected for interview (its a senior post so the interview process will be quite lengthy & rigorous). I have found out I am pregnant (only 4 weeks).
My dilemmas are do I bother going for the interview and if so how far do I go before revealing I am pregnant?
My friend has suggested all the way and once I've signed the contract, reveal I am pregnant. I would need to compromise on maternity pay and would need to go back after 6 months probably rather than a year to soften the blow. However I'm not sure I feel comfortable doing this!
I would welcome thoughts.
Xx

OP posts:
eurochick · 03/04/2014 14:21

Go for the interview and see what happens.

I am looking around at the moment and have had a number of interviews. I am rather further along (19 weeks) but hiding the bump in early interviews. If any of the opportunities get to making an offer stage, I will have a chat with them about timing (at this point it really wouldn't be worth me starting before I go on mat leave, as I have a 3 month notice period). The offer would have to be a good one though, to make up for me losing my enhanced maternity rights where I am.

flowery · 03/04/2014 14:27

Go for the interview. If it's a long process you have plenty of time.

If you tell a prospective employer you are pregnant one of the following will happen:

They may offer you the job because you are the best candidate
They may feel they have to offer you the job even if you are not the best candidate because they are worried about being accused of discrimination
They may not offer you the job. This may be because they are discriminating but may not, and you will not know which.

It will be very difficult for a recruiting manager to make decisions without information like the pregnancy of a candidate clouding his or her mind in one way or another. I think you owe it to yourself, to them and to other candidates to allow them to make decisions unburdened by any information which is not relevant to the candidates' ability to do the job.

RedRoom · 03/04/2014 14:34

Go for the interview because nothing is guaranteed. You may not get it/feel it's right, and you still have a way to go to make sure you have no pregnancy complications.

Not sure about the advice to tell them as soon as you are contracted. Why not wait until 12 weeks, because you may have complications.

If you do get it, you must accept that whilst legally they can do nothing, there will be some annoyance that you'll be on maternity leave so soon. Someone at my work got a job in my dept and announced her pregnancy three weeks later. It caused such chaos and she never acknowledged how much we had to accommodate her by adjusting all of our own roles/ working hours.

Postbox1401 · 03/04/2014 18:50

Thanks all, that's helpful.

OP posts:
Maisie0 · 13/04/2014 19:24

Very well put Flowery.
At least it is honest and you also know where you stand as well. No more guilty feeling.

cravenmaven · 22/04/2014 12:28

I'm having the same dilemma, but I'm not even pregnant! We had just decided to try for another when I lost my job. Like the poster above, I would feel bad about getting a job and disappearing off on maternity leave soon. I would want to wait a year, but with now trying to find a job, working that year, trying to conceive, carrying to term - at 36, I don't feel I have that kind of time left!

At the minute the plan is to look for short-term work contracts, and keep doing those until (fingers crossed), a due date looms. That way not shortchanging an employer, but am I shortchanging myself? No maternity pay, no job to return to...

Would you take a permanent job, knowing that with any luck you would be pregnant within a few months? As a boss, how would you feel if someone in your team did that? Part of my concern is that the short-term stuff is thin on the ground in my field, but there is some permanent stuff around. Other half thinks i should go for permanent roles, and tell them the situation - let them decide if they want to take me on. I kind of like that plan, but also think that is a very personal piece of information to hand over to a near-total stranger, something even close family and friends don't know at this stage!

Minky3 · 23/04/2014 21:41

Pregnancy can't be legally taken into account as a factor in recruiting and employers know they shouldn't. The best way to help them meet this requirement is by not telling them about your family plans until it becomes relevant to them i.e when you are employed.

Yambabe · 24/04/2014 18:29

This is a no-brainer to me, you are seriously saying you would go through the whole interview process, take the job and then go off on maternity leave within a few weeks or months at best of your start date?

That's so unfair to your potential employer, not to mention the other candidates for the role.

I would withdraw from the interview and stick with where you are for now. I would however also explain why to the potential new employer and make it clear you would be available for any future roles in your field that may come up once you are back at work.

mercibucket · 24/04/2014 19:21

just go for the interview and see what happens

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