Annoyed with boss, but even more annoyed with myself for being feeble.

[Beetle73]

My boss decided to start discussing something with me at 4.55 this afternoon. I said that I had to head off in about 5 minutes (as usual). She said, sort of jokily, but with a hint of seriousness, 'Beetle, you really need to get that partner of yours collecting DD from nursery.' At which point I kind of smiled and nodded ruefully.

Really annoyed with myself for being so feeble. I mean, I'm glad I didn't tell her to xxxx off, but OTOH really wish I'd just not replied. I work very hard when I'm in the office, I always do stuff from home if it's needed, I'm always contactable on my mobile and I do lots of travelling for work. I know that my DP is a lazy, unhelpful, unreliable arse, and she has obviously got an inkling that this is the case, but what business is it of hers, given that I put a lot into the job anyway?

I do like the woman, but I think she's losing sight of the boundary between work and home - I'll run my home life as I choose, and she has no reason to criticise until it really affects my work, as opposed to simply making me leave on time.

Deep breath...

N&T how come they aren't paying you, are they paying everybody else?

new excuse every month. change of bank details, going on maternity leave, changing from holiday to maternity, sick leave without pay, coming off maternity leave. apperently its really hard to change these things without delaying payment of wages by like 2 weeks every month.

the joke is guess who i work for? the co-op!! they are SO hot of fair treatment for africans etc... but their staff? ha!!!

OMG thats atrocious!!!!!

My work cocked it up but i still got paid (its a small firm with a one woman payroll department!). I took 2 days hols before mat leave started which they never paid me for, hoped i wouldn't notice. But i see all! Trouble is i went back a week before new holiday year started and carrying over is banned - asked for an exception as it was their fault but got told to sod off - found out week after a bloke they took on while i was off was allowed to carry 2 weeks hols over. NOT HAPPY

Angela - thats exactly the kind of comments that I am taking my ex employers to tribunal for.

I had a similar thing. When having sent my boss a message to say I wouldnt be able to come in the next day I got a reply that said "okay but you have to take it as holiday" WTF? So, i put my unpaid leave form in when I returned anyway and he tried to get me to take it as annual leave. I refuted it - so did he. He told me that "the way it works is you use up all your annual leave and then when that has gone you take it as unpaid". I told him I was entitled to take unpaid leave for emergencies. He replied that it was up to him to decide what constituted an emergency

He then went on to sya that, the problem with me taking it as unpaid was that I would still have all my annual leave to take, and I have enough time off as it is now that I am part time!!!

Hope tribunal goes well for you, you'll have to keep us posted on how you get on

When I went in to work for my pre-return meeting, I asked to do 3 days per week, Mon Tues and Weds. Was told I couldn't and had to do Mon, Thurs and Fri cos there was no desk for me!!!Also a load of other crap about workload and stuff but none of it justified. I rang ACAS and they pointed out that there had to be a desk as I could have wanted to return full-time so the remedy had to be to buy another desk! Anyway I now do Mon Tues and Weds thanks to my fantastic letter ACAS helped me write

it's so depressing, i thought things would be so much better now for younger women

I can relate to that, I was ill the whole time this farce was going on, took ages to resolve and I just felt sick as I couldn't afford not to go back to work. I'm still angry with them now and still feel ill when I think about how they made me feel.

Don't know if anyone is still following this threasd but herere goes.....apologiues for spelling. Its late and I'm tired. I went to 3 days after mat leave (DD is 22 months and still b/feedin!!!!!! but that;s another thread!). I work in telly and its a bit of a young trendy deot though I was (and still am) the longest serving member of staff with the most exp. I had to accept a fairly menial and bog standard job that was 'created' for me which doesn't stretch me, and doesn't use the knowledge I had which is ebbing away. I got several company payrises whilst on leave and was completely overlooked a few months back when all my colleagues were given a one to one chat on a fRiday aft (prob about how grest they are) and then given £500 payrise. I had to sit ther like a dope and pretend I didn't know what was going on. I haven't forgotten. It's more the message that my crap boss (bloke no kids) sends out to the rest of the dept that I sit on the sidelines, have no right to be involved and have to do whatever they throw at me (however pointless) coz \i have no other chice. Been there 6 years. Previous boss was female and great and instigated the part time position. Think he just sees me as a hassle. Have my annula review on Thursday so reading threads to see what other folk have said.....really hacked off but don't want to waltz in there guns blazing. Hurrumph . AND when I had a glut of appointments, dentist, blood test and eye check (have very bad vision and need checking more reg) the boss asked me via email to try and make my appointments in my own time not work time. How the hell am I sposed to get root canal work done with a 22 month running round surgery. I have no family close by willing to care for her (that's a WHOLE strand of it own) and was so flabbergasted that I couldn't reply for fear of freaking out so left it. Now make app when I know he is out of town as the rest of the dept feel he's being a knob. And my occasioanl 'time off for poorly child' absnce is at his discretion. Depending on how he feels that day I can have it (so gracious) or take it as annual leave leave. I think he thinks he's being super generous but it makes me feel at his mercy and the lines are blurred. Another difference between the others and me. Phew

I feel so sory for everyone on this thread.I have been there before with my previous boss (who tried to sack me on the last day before mat leave)

I finally bit the bullet, left and now work 4 days for a fantastic organisation. They remind me to leave on time, tell me off if i work on my day off, chased me to sort out working from home 1 of my four days and generally make me feel important. I even got 'told off' for checking my emails on Mon night so I get no unpleasant surprises on Tue am!!!

Basic point is - there are decent places to work for, you do not have to put up with this s**t, but I know how hard it is to have the confidence to make the jump.

Good luck and keep fighting

Laino, it depends on how far you want to take it really. Personally I can't stand knobs like that so I threaten, ever so discretly, legal action. The Disability Discrimination bill should cover your need to have time off for eye checks. As for the rest, it sounds like you've effectivly been demoted as a result of maternity leave. Check out with the maternity alliance what your rights are.

At the next appraisal I would question why you were not given the same pay rise as the others, why you are not being allowed to stretch your skills and why you are not participating in staff development to the same extent as other members of staff. It couldn't possibly be because you are a parent could it? Putting someone in a position where they have no targets to meet and therefore are inelligable to gain bonus' seems like a case for constructive dismissal. Have you seen the size of some of the payouts these women are getting because of sex discrimination? etc.

Finally, suggest that you really don't understand why this is happening and that maybe it is worth you contacting head office to find out why your valuable, and expensive, skills are being so shockingly underutilised.