Small meltdown at work -WWYD?

[Maltakano]

I work part time and have an 19m dd who is a persistent night waker. My DP and I usually manage to deal with it together, but we are always, always tired. The past week I have been more tired than normal, with a bin muscles, heavy eyes during the day and craving carbs.

Anyway, at work on Tuesday I felt so tired, I almost felt hungover, could not concentrate, so I had to have a colleague take over a task. My manager was there, and I got a bit weepy, told her I was shattered, and asked if I could take some time and go home a couple of hours early.

That was fine, but the thing is, I'm embarrassed that I got so upset and pathetic, and I'm worried she thinks I'm a bit rubbish. I am usually very good at my job, and pre child I was a machine! I always did extra things I didn't really have to do, ostensibly to get the job I am in now, by improving CV.

Anyway, what should I do when I go back tomorrow? Should I apologise for being such an idiot, and share my worries about being seen as a dead weight, or is that just me seeking approval and being a drama queen?

I would appreciate some advice because, guess what?, I'm still REALLY TIRED!

Aching muscles, not a bin!

Lie. Ring your boss and say all snuffly, 'No wonder I was so knackered yesterday I obviously have a bug, since getting home yesterday I've never been off the loo, I'm afraid I won't be in', then climb into bed and sleep, do not catch up on chores

I would go in bright and breezy, say how fantastic it was to have caught up on some much needed sleep. Take some biscuits in for the team and tell your manager how much you appreciated their support with this one. Then get on with your day and leave it at that. Your manager will like the praise. We all have off days at work, and going home was the sensible thing to do.

I've been like that before and I don't have nearly as good reason as you do!
Its fine, so long as you don't make a habit of it there is no reason for them to think ill of you for it and no reason for you to be embarrassed.
I once fell asleep at my desk and had to be sent home

Does your manager have children herself? Im sure if she does she can totally relate to how your feeling, and If she doesnt and shoes you no empathy then i hope if she does have children in the future karma comes round to bite her!

If she was fine with you leaving to go home I wouldnt worry about it really, she knows you from before you had ds and knows you dont pull sickys left right and centre and that youve actually worked really hard to get where you are today. Everybody is allowed a litte slip now and again, yours is because of your child. cannot be helped and we all go through it.

As for your ds waking, is there any reason for it? Is it for a bottle etc, or just habit.

You poor thing.

I think its a great idea to take in a tin of biscuits for a treat for the team.

Have a quiet word with your manager to thank them for their support and reassure them you are very committed to the job but had an off day due to lack of sleep. Then get on with the job as normal, you don't need to justify yourself to anyone else.

I would go in with some biscuits for the team as a thank you. Then ask to see your manager for a quick chat and thank her personally for yesterday. It just gives you both a chance to get everything in the open informally. Nothing wrong with the odd melt down, I've seen almost all my colleagues cry at some point, never thought any less of them and no one will think any less of you.

father yes! I'll get some sweets for the person who took over. I might eat some of them too .

objection I have never slept at work! but the first aid room bed is very comfy.

vix it is total habit that she wakes up during the night. We try cuddles, water, paracetamol, in case she is in pain, but end up giving her milk. Which sometime settles her, and sometimes doesn't. It's every night, so it seems like her body expects some interaction in the middle of the night.

I feel like I'm too fragile to try controlled crying, as suggested by the HV, so we just wait until she grows out of it, I think.

Which will, of course, be the minute she turns 2, right?

Oh gosh take a week off work do cc. It's horrible but much better than being woken up multiple times.

I am sorry you are struggling.

I am going to tell you what my gp told me when we were struggling with ds1 in the night, and which really helped us focus. The best thing you can do for your baby is to teach him to sleep. Babies dont need food in the night, they need sleep. We were instructed to not give in, and not give any milk. Dont lift out of bed, keep the light off. Just touch baby gently, and not even speak to him. GP said that it would have to be dh if we were to wean him of night feeds (breast) as baby should not smell the milk. I know yours are older than mine was at the time, but hopefully you can manage to get through this phase.

Oh god yes please think about weaning her off the nightime bottle, I had to do it with my ds, it wasn't controlled crying as such but we switched to water, so after a few nights he wasn't too interested in waking up for water. At 19 months your ds certainly no longer needs a night feed and is just waking up out of habit, in a week or 2 he may sleep right through which will be so much easier for you all. Its horrible being so sleep deprived, truly horrible but please remember its just a habit that you can help change and doesn't need to happen. It will do your ds more good to sleep longer rather than wake up for drinks/food.

I can only echo Quint's post.

My DS at 8 months almost killed me and DH. We had got him into the habit that every time his sleep cycle ended rather than settling himself back to another cycle, we went in, thereby waking him up. It took three nights to break and I must admit DH had to do it as I was too soft (he did it whilst I was working nights). Honestly you need to do something, no-one can carry on that way.

If your attendance and performance is otherwise good this is a time to throw a sickie (you are really)

Take the day to yourself and recuperate. Everything will seem better after the weekend.

We did CC with DS1 at about the age you Dc is. it worked like a dream in only 2 nights. Wasn't t actually that traumatic as he gave in relatively easily, so you never know it might not be as bad as you think.

OP please try CC. It sounds harsh but like someone else said sleeping through the night is such an important skill to teach your child. Get a gro clock too - she's not too young as my 18 month old has understood it for about 5 months now (although she did have her 3 year old sister in the room to 'teach' her)

Don't assume she'll grow out of it either. I have a friend who wasn't brave enough to tackle it and now has an almost three year old who is a horrendous night waker as it got worse when she moved into a bed. Pick a weekend and take the Friday and Monday off if you can then tackle it together. Best of luck. Everything seems so much better when you're getting the sleep you deserve.