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Gross Misconduct - Unsure where to turn

35 replies

Sam640 · 05/02/2014 13:34

Hi all,

Really do hope me posting here I am able to seek some advice. I'm facing the likely prospect of handing in my notice so that I can continue using the reference for future jobs.

Company has complied with ACAS regulations and has now set a side a final disciplinary date...

The allegations against me are, lying to a member of staff regarding my whereabouts and asking for another member of staff to cover for me. I have admitted the allegations but I do believe it was done mitigating circumstances. The charge is breach of confidence and trust.

Here is my story:

My family have been going through a tough time whereby my partner’s grandfather had suffered cancer to the neck and lower body; it is a type of cancer attached to the blood cells which is treatable through specialist treatment.

He was unwell for a period of time and was undergoing chemo therapy. At first the treatment responded well and he was fully fit and healthy and full of life. As time went by the lymphoma
had returned and further subsequent treatment was required, this in turn slowly had weakened him until the clear was given.

The cancer had returned for the third time over a period of one year, by this time doctors had advised this to be the final treatment, given his age and condition his body could no longer
cope with the treatment. Prior to Christmas Eve he was eventually given his final treatment and the family could only stand by in hope. By this time the cancer had retuned and his health & weight fell into rapid decline, one day he could walk freely and then in the next few days bed ridden requiring assistance for his mobility and care.

Doctors had advised he was going to be placed on the Liverpool Care Pathway as he was not able to have any more treatment due to his condition. I have stood by with the family and assisted where possible from the moment of his first treatment, using any time possible. Over time I and my partner’s granddad grew a special bond together, he had appreciated every help I could give to him and his family doing what was necessary at the time.

On Christmas Eve he’d asked me to visit him and comfort him, he knew he was in rapid decline and asked for his family to be close by. On the day of Christmas Eve, I was working away with close proximity to my partner’s grandfather; I was hoping I’d leave for work in a matter of a few hours.

I explained I had to leave for work, but he’d asked me to say. I understand I took it upon myself to go visit him and not contact a senior manager as I thought I could both work and comfort him at the same time. I now know this was the wrong decision to make and should have discussed with my Line manager during our one and only supervision session of home life difficulties.

On Christmas Eve senior manager had called me and asked where I was, having known I’d made the wrong decision I lied to the senior manager and stated I was in another location. I knew this was the wrong thing to do and I panicked. I was at my partner’s grandfather side and was unsure what to say. I was sat with a man who needed care and a cross call with a manager. I felt the manager would have been displeased should I have told him of the situation and what I chosen to do.

From the moment I panic, I contacted another member of staff and asked if should could cover me should the senior manager asked, she declined and from that moment I knew I should not of asked her to get involved. I felt some comfort that she declined and never was any under pressure to accept. I did not give her a reason as I felt this was too personal to push onto her.

With his conditions getting worse by the day and knowing the Liverpool Care Pathway, I had asked work to take some time off some time off, which they agreed . My partner’s grandfather passed away during that time. I was there at his last moment to comfort him till the end and subsequently attend his funeral a few days later.

I had 7 working days to confess the allegations raised. Whilst in that time period I noted there was supervision arranged for 07.01.2013. I did want to use this opportunity to discuss with my line manager of my actions and seek advice. My senior line manager said I had ample opportunity to discuss the allegation, however due to work commitments and nerves I was not able to succumb to the opportunity but did want to in Supervisions as it’s seen as an area to discuss anything affecting working life. I felt nervous, sick and appalled of my actions, stuck with a decision to help comfort or to be at the correct locality. They were was disappointed by my actions and I was and have been since sorry for what had happened.

I never did want to cause a breach of trust or to waste anyone’s time in the matter. I continually did my work as required and never did use any opportunity not to do work, as there are many projects at hand to complete and do.
I have worked very hard for the firm. I have placed more hours than I normally should have, previously not logged until management asked me to log all extra hours. I have been committed and always will be committed to my work and colleagues, always supporting them and looking for solutions to help aid everyday working practices.

It’s given me time to reflect and think about the consequences, and has made me feel anxious and overwhelmed given me lack of sleep and health gradually subsiding due to not know where the investigation will lead to.

Thank you all for reading and understanding.
Question now is of no doubt of handing in notice or not, to brave through the final hearing...

OP posts:
Quinteszilla · 06/02/2014 11:45

You are saying you spent Christmas eve working from a hospital where your boyfriends grandfather was dying?

Do you realize how far fetched this sounds?

Can anybody collaborate this?

Hoppinggreen · 06/02/2014 13:18

Of course Flowery she should fight if she has a good chance of success but from the information she has put here she sounds guilty of Gross Misconduct .
I am wondering if there is a friendly manager or HR person at her company who might be able to subtly " hint" off the record what she should do?
At the end of the day I understand that Flowery is a pro in this area so her advice is probably a safer bet than mine but I just wanted to share what happened to me and how something that I thought would be the end of my career actually didn't turn out to be.

flowery · 06/02/2014 13:56

You're not wrong at all Hopping. :) My concern was her assumption that references would be fine if she resigned, and I just wanted to flag up that that is certainly not necessarily the case. It may be the best option, absolutely, but assuming it's an easy way out could be problematic, that's all.

I agree with the suggestion of someone who might be able to hint, that could be an option.

FabULouse · 06/02/2014 15:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hoppinggreen · 06/02/2014 19:27

Good strategy Fab

Onesleeptillwembley · 06/02/2014 19:35

Sorry but I can't understand the people that say it wasn't gross negligence. It most definitely was. The only mitigating circumstances would be if it was sudden and was a parent partner sibling or child. If those people then if it wasn't sudden then I would expect your employer to have let you go anyway, unpaid if al all possible (obviously different again if child).
This was the grandparent of your partner. With other relatives. You then lied. In a disciplinary I would not think that I could find in your favour at all.
If I were you I'd resign gracefully and start again. They would only tell if asked, in your OP. not all companies ask that.

Onesleeptillwembley · 06/02/2014 19:41

Paid if at all possible - sorry, worded it all very badly.

Geoff0409 · 06/02/2014 19:52

Sam640 , I am not quite sure what you do in your job but I do feel very sorry for you. My Wife is very close to my own Nan and I know that she would do exactly the same thing. It was naughty to tell a few lies but at the end of the day that's all it was. You realised your mistake and admitted it. I know it's hard but what's done is done. It can't be undone. You did a lovely thing looking after someone who was unwell, and I am full of admiration for you. Unfortunately companies are not always as caring as they could be. I understand that they have to draw the line somewhere and sadly they sometimes cannot let someone off incase it becomes public knowledge and someone else does something similar - they would have to let the, off too. I used to work at a large supermarket and they let someone off who went and got drunk at lunchtime. They got in all sorts of trouble. What does your partner make of all this? Are you still working before your hearing? If you do leave it won't be great but long term you'll probably feel much better.

Unexpected · 06/02/2014 23:30

Geoff, it wasn't just a few lies though - the OP also asked someone else to lie for her, putting them in a difficult position. Rereading her original post, it's also not clear if she owned up to what had happened until she was tackled about it. From her post, it seems as if she had time to speak up but actually went through a subsequent supervision session without saying anything.

fascicle · 07/02/2014 06:41

Unexpected that paragraph could be interpreted another way - that the OP chose to wait and talk about it at that session, which looks like it could have been out of the 7 working day time limit for admitting allegations (difficult to tell with the Christmas period).

Part of the outcome of the hearing will depend on the finer detail and interpretation of the OP's situation.

It's the lying that's the issue, made even worse by asking someone else to also lie on your behalf.
Show me a person who hasn't lied at work. For me, there are more serious charges that would constitute gross misconduct - violence, fraud, stealing, reckless disregard for health and safety etc. If the OP's track record is otherwise very good (and they did re-hire her after a period with another employer), then it could be argued that her actions have not irrevocably broken down the employer employee relationship.

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