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Original poster

work colleague has implied im not welcome back to work

45 replies

greeneyedlulu · 03/02/2014 11:49

i received a message on facebook from a work colleague who has basically implied that things are fine without me and it hasnt gone unnoticed by the management! i know she is being a spiteful cow but is there any action i can take against her and the company?

OP posts:

Journey · 03/02/2014 14:00

I'd tell her it isn't appropriate to talk about work stuff on Facebook and leave it at that for the time being. I wouldn't rise to the bait by saying anything else.

I think your manager could find it petty making a big deal out if it. It could also imply you lack confidence in your ability.

Keep a copy of the message and when you get back to work keep records of her behaviour for evidence. Doing it this way looks like you're in control of the situation.

SnowBells · 03/02/2014 14:41

Look at your employment manual, if you have one. There's normally a procedure for bullying. This is basically bullying. If you have an HR person, send the message (as a PDF?) to the HR person, cc'ing your boss. However, if I were you, I would be prepared to come into the office - maternity leave or not. Several of my colleagues came in just to not lose touch with business reality.

PlasmaBall - the OP has a right to complain. I have worked with several people who complained for a lot less 'mean' messages (basically telling people to please, please do their job) than what this OP has received.

BlueSkySunnyDay · 03/02/2014 14:48

I really wouldnt send an email to your boss while he is out of the office - the message may be picked up in his absence by someone else.

If you are going to deal with it I would start by taking a screen shot of the facebook page and saving it. Talk to him first and produce that as proof if needed.

PlasmaBall · 03/02/2014 15:03

Of course Snow but there has to be some attempt to make it constructive, not just a whinge. How were your colleague's complaints received? What action was taken?

SnowBells · 05/02/2014 19:57

PlasmaBall

My ex-colleagues (men!) actually made the complaint about me!! As in, I was soooooo mean to actually ask them to please give me something by a certain deadline - as said, to basically do their job. Particularly because a partner of the firm was screaming at me (!!!) to get stuff done asap.

Result?

The woman in charge of both Operations and HR (who I hate to this day, and wish all the worst in the world to) happened to also be really good friends with those men - one of whom used to buy her expensive presents. She called in a meeting, and told me off for ever asking those men to do the things that were part of THEIR job description.

Oh God. How much I still hate them. And this was 5-6 years ago! Obviously left the firm!

P.S.: The partner could scream at me all he wanted (with everyone hearing it) because he was a partner. He was one of those guys who always wanted something immediately...

EBearhug · 05/02/2014 21:57

The partner could scream at me all he wanted (with everyone hearing it) because he was a partner.

You're still entitled to be treated with respect.

justdrankacappuccino · 05/02/2014 22:42

Sorry, but this all sounds a bit childish.

Ignore her, defriend her, take a screenshot of the page and file it away in your 'Problem Employee' folder in case you need it later.

Staying strong and silent wields more power than throwing a hissy fit and throwing your toys out of the pram. If you want to come down on her like a ton of bricks then gain more evidence first before running to your boss.

SnowBells · 05/02/2014 22:54

EBearhug

I know - but that was a company where some people at the top were spoilt and earning millions.

Even now, DH still thinks they were just a horrible bunch of people.

justdrankacappuccino · 05/02/2014 23:19

The people at the top were earning millions...

Huh? Which company is this, BP?

SnowBells · 05/02/2014 23:43

justdrankacappucino

Ha! No, the top people in BP don't nearly earn as much as a certain sub-segment of the financial industry.

justdrankacappuccino · 06/02/2014 07:28

So, you work for a top financial institution and the staff act like this?

Okay...

Mojang · 06/02/2014 08:08

I find it highly unlikely that she "told you for ever asking those men to do the things that were part of THEIR job description." She disciplined you for the way you dealt with the situation.

Why is it so important that they were men?

SnowBells · 06/02/2014 08:30

Mojang / justdrankacapuccino

You guys won't get it unless you've ever worked in that niche sector. It was a small firm. Not a top financial institution everyone knows of. I now work at a bigger, better-known firm, and we have sooooo many processes in place, that type of thing would never happen. Leaving that firm was a good wake-up call that not the whole of finance is like that. And by the way, the older partners that actually established the place were fantastic, and the reason they did so well. Their successors, not so much though.

As mentioned, it is a certain sub-segment of the financial industry, and there have been a few complaints made on MN by people working in that field about slightly unprofessional behavior going on (last I saw was someone being downright maltreated for being pregnant by a female boss). The HR/Operations woman was not liked by many at all as she very clearly had 'favorites', and dealt with them differently.

Why is it so important that they were men? Because I have this weird feeling that had I not been a 'girl', they would not have acted like that.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 06/02/2014 08:32

SnowBells, I hear you!

SnowBells · 06/02/2014 09:02

Thanks TheDoctrineOfSnatch.

Weird that there are some people on here who think people from HR are Mother Theresa-like impartial creatures. And that some people think that no extreme behavior can be found in places where a lot of money can be made, despite all the films that exist depicting exactly this (it's not all made up), and tabloids that tell stories of the child-like tantrums of CEOs…

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 06/02/2014 09:12

Yup. And when the single HR person is 25 years younger, several inches shorter and many grades junior to the MD, somehow the role tends to focus on arranging training courses and updating handbooks...

justdrankacappuccino · 06/02/2014 19:26

Who on here thinks people from HR are Mother Teresa?

IME HR spend a lot of time trying to avert employment law disasters by senior management. They work on behalf of the company not the employee.

I'm PA to the CEO of a Plc. In 18 years of working in various industries (and for a very well known fat cat) I've seen plenty of extreme behaviour. I don't actually tell anyone things because I really don't think people would believe me. We're not all as naive as you think, Snowbells.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 06/02/2014 20:59

Just drank, then why were you sceptical about Snowbell's account?

justdrankacappuccino · 06/02/2014 21:41

I mistook her for the Op.

Snidey underhand tactics in a financial organisation I can totally relate to. It's everywhere to some extent but all this Facebook crap? Really? Is this all people have to worry about?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 06/02/2014 22:12

Aha!

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