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Feeling unsure

7 replies

freelancenewbie · 21/01/2014 10:26

I enjoy my new freelancing way of life but I'm having a wobble - should I just be enjoying my dc more? They are 3 and 20 months. I dedicate tues/weds to work & also Thursday morning & I often work a bit in evenings (not as bad as last year) & sometimes weekends if required to get through workload. I miss my dc when I'm not with them but I appreciate that I'm fortunate to see them still a lot. What I'm wondering is when they're at school, will I feel really great for keeping my hand in & building up my business or will I feel sad that I was so focussed on my business when they were little? Running your own business is very all-consuming - maybe it will get easier? I'm just having a wobble ..

OP posts:
VelvetStrider · 21/01/2014 10:37

I wonder the same thing sometimes, but on the whole I think I am able to enjoy my children because I am able to get a balance between work and family. If I were to give up my career, that would mean giving up my passion and part of my identity, and I think my relationship with my children would suffer as a consequence. I'm just not able to 'parent' constantly so I'd find some other form of escape - Mumsnet etc.! So I may as well escape in a productive way by working. Quality, not quantity, I say! Smile

freelancenewbie · 21/01/2014 11:42

Thanks Velvet - your reply has really made me feel better. I have to remind myself of that too - that I'm not actually 100% happy being a fully SAHM - because I find I then miss my working life! The problem with me is I spend too much time worrying about the decisions I make. Right, back to work - that will stop me thinking too much about the difficulties of working life after babies ...

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 21/01/2014 11:50

You will be delighted when they go to school and you have a ready-made business waiting for you, particularly as there will be a rush of your 'peer' SAHMs (iyswim) trying to get back into the workplace. Can't see the economy having miraculously picked itself up then either!

My only thought was, do you have a DP? Might it work better for you to devote one of your weekend days to work - just write that one off - which might allow you to claw back one of your weekdays or some of the evening working (which is tiring, I agree). That way DP is with the kids for a day which will be great for them and lessen your guilty feelings as well as giving you more time with DCs. Freelancing is so flexible - make it work for you!

freelancenewbie · 21/01/2014 12:18

Thanks Wilson. Yes, I think I will put the weekend day into operation (with DH - and it will be an operation at first - until Dh gets the hang of it - ha!). We did that last weekend and it worked really well and it helps so much with the workload. Really, I'm setting up all of this for when they are at school - so I just have to carry on working hard at it. I don't think I will want to be a SAHM when they are at school and if I hadn't set up my business, I really don't think I would have got back into my field - very competitive at the best of times. Thanks for your opinions/comments, appreciate it.

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 21/01/2014 14:45

He will get the hang of it though suggest a lock for your office until he does

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 22/01/2014 09:53

Hi freelance

In my experience (DS in yr1) school is still set up around the assumption that somebody is at home therefore able to do the drop/collect.

From the notices on school windows, to daytime meetings about the curiculum to the 12 weeks of holiday it really isn't set up for working parents, especially those in 9 - 5 roles etc. I didn't realise the extent of its work unfriendlyness until he started, when he was in nursery 8 - 6 it was all so simple!

So the ability to work flexibly to accomodate this/some of this is a true gift and something that many parents would love to be able to do.

The benefit of working now means you'll have an established business by the time it is school time and can hopefully work when you want. To be honest they'll not really remember the early years as long as they are loved & fed etc. Once they get to school age the start to remember things.

I find that freelancing is a complete rollercoaster. From the changing flow of too much work/not enough work etc to cash flow to deaing with client issues on my own.

I often glance at the job pages thinking 'What if?'. However when I finish mat leave I want to work until school finish on Mon, all day Tues, Wed, Thurs and then off on Friday. Where do you find a job that will agree to that? Not easily. That is the single thing that keeps me going during my doubt phases.

As an side, I remember reading an interview in Management Today with Emma Gilpin, Global Comms Director, FT about working and having kids. She said the best bit of advice she'd been given is "when you are with your kids be 100% with them". Which I think is a good mantra for those of use with limited time with the kids.

Good luck with the weekend plan.

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 22/01/2014 10:01

Errr sorry for the spelling errors. Realised Crome has stopped spellchecking...eekk.

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